Tag Archives: take

Love V: 7

Left.
筒井つゝ井筒にかけし丈よりも過ぬや通ふ心深さは

tsutsui tsutsu
itsutsu ni kakeshi
take yori mo
suginu ya kayou
kokoro fukasa wa
The pipe well
Covered over:
More than its height
Have passed
The depths of our hearts.

Kenshō.
853

Right (Win).
筒井つにかけしためしをいかに我結び知らせん春の若水

tsutsui tsu ni
kakeshi tameshi o
ika ni ware
musubi shirasen
haru no wakamizu
The pipe well
Was covered once,
So how can I
Tell you that cupping my hands
For Spring’s water, makes me young once more.

Lord Takanobu.
854

The Right state: the upper section of the Left’s poem is little different from its origin poem, while its lower part is grating on the ear. The Left state: the Right’s poem has no particular faults to mention.

In judgement: in addition to the use of ‘the pipe well’ (tsutsui tsu) by both Left and Right not being that unusual, the Left’s ‘pipe well’ having surpassed its height does not sound that profound in conception. ’Spring’s water, makes me young’ (haru no wakamizu) isn’t bad, so the Right wins.

Winter II: 28

Left.

あまたたび竹の灯し火かゝげてぞ三世の佛の名をば唱る

amata tabi
take no tomoshibi
kakagete zo
miyo no hotoke no
na oba tonaeru
Many times
The torches of bamboo
Are flourished, and
The three worlds’ Buddhas’
Names proclaimed.

Lord Suetsune.

595

Right.

明やらぬ夜の間の雪は積もるとも氷れる罪や空に消らん

akeyaranu
yo no ma no yuki wa
tsumoru tomo
kōreru tsumi ya
sora ni kiyuran
There’s no light
Within this night of snowfall
Drifting, yet
My frozen sins
Do vanish into the skies…

Jakuren.

596

The Gentlemen of the Right state: we must say that the Left’s poem has no faults. The Gentlemen of the Left state: we wonder about the expression ‘frozen sins’ (kōreru tsumi).

Shunzei’s judgement: saying ‘torches of bamboo’ (take no tomoshibi) in order to refer to the ‘three worlds’ Buddhas’, is a somewhat unusual expression. The Right’s ‘my frozen sins do vanish into the skies’ (kōreru tsumi ya sora ni kiyuran) seems elegant [yū ni miehaberu], but refers only to the sins vanishing, and the conception of the Buddhas’ names seems somewhat lacking. Comparing the two poems, they must tie.

Winter II: 26

Left (Win).

河竹のなびく葉風も年暮れて三世の佛の御名を聞くかな

kawatake no
nabiku hakaze mo
toshi kurete
miyo no hotoke no
mina o kiku kana
Bamboo by the river,
Leaves streaming in the breeze, and
The ending of the year, with
The three worlds’ Buddhas
Honoured names – I hear them both…

Lord Sada’ie.

591

Right.

嬉しくも罪は夜の間に消えぬ也暮行く年や身に積るらむ

ureshiku mo
tsumi wa yo no ma ni
kienu nari
kureyuku toshi ya
mi ni tsumoruramu
How pleasant that
One’s sins in the space of a night
Do disappear, and
The year fading into dusk
Seems to lie upon me!

Ietaka.

592

The Gentlemen of the Right state: the Left’s poem has no faults. The Gentlemen of the Left state: the Right’s poem is pedestrian [tsune no koto nari].

Shunzei’s judgement: the sound of ‘Bamboo by the river, leaves streaming’ (kawatake no nabiku), leading to ‘the three worlds’ Buddhas’ (miyo no hotoke) is not a particularly good expression. In the Right’s poem, if it was changed to ‘the disappearance of one’s sins is pleasant, but’ (tsumi no kiyuru koto wa ureshiki o), this would be more in line with the conception of the final section of the poem. By beginning ‘how pleasant that’ (ureshiku mo) it sounds as if the poet is pleased to bear another year, too. I wonder, is ‘bamboo by the river’ a recollection of the Palace Gardens? The Left should win.

Winter 48

Left (Tie).

雪折の竹の下道跡もなし荒れにしのちの深草の里

yuki ore no
take no shitamichi
ato mo nashi
arenishi nochi no
fukakusa no sato
Snow-snapped
Bamboo trails
Bear no tracks
After the storm
At the estate of Fukakusa.

95

Right

大伴の御津の濱風吹はらへ松とも見えじうづむ白雪

ōtomo no
mitsu no hama
kaze
fukiharae
matsu tomo mieji
uzumu shirayuki
In Ōtomo
Upon the beach at Mitsu, wind,
Blow clean
The pines, for they seem unlike themselves,
Buried in drifted snow.

96