Tag Archives: tani

MYS XVII: 4003

A poem with two envoys, composed in respectful response to Tachiyama.

朝日さし そがひに見ゆる 神ながら 御名に帯ばせる 白雲の 千重を押し別け 天そそり 高き立山 冬夏と 別くこともなく 白栲に 雪は降り置きて 古ゆ あり来にければ こごしかも 岩の神さび たまきはる 幾代経にけむ 立ちて居て 見れども異し 峰高み 谷を深みと 落ちたぎつ 清き河内に 朝さらず 霧立ちわたり 夕されば 雲居たなびき 雲居なす 心もしのに 立つ霧の 思ひ過ぐさず 行く水の 音もさやけく 万代に 言ひ継ぎゆかむ 川し絶えずは

asapi sasi
sogapi ni miyuru
kamu nagara
mina ni obasesu
sirakumo no
tipe wo osiwake
ama sosori
takaki tatiyama
puyu natu to
waku koto mo naku
sirotape ni
yuki pa puri okite
inisipe yu
arikinikereba
kogosikamo
ipa no kamusabi
tama kiparu
ikuyo penikemu
tatiwite
miredomo ayasi
minedakami
tani wo pukami to
otitagitu
kiyoki ka puti ni
asa sarazu
kiri tati watari
yupu sareba
kumowi tanabiki
kumowi nasu
kokoro mo sino ni
tatu kiri no
omopi sugusazu
yuku midu no
woto mo sayakeku
yoroduyo ni
ipitugi yukamu
kapa si taezu wa
The morning sun shines
At my back,and
Divine
Your great name links:
Clouds of white
In a thousand layers, you pierce, and
Tower into the heavens,
Tall Tachiyama!
In winter and, in summer both
Indistinguishably are you
Clad in mulberry white
Fallen drifts of snow;
Since ancient days
Ever has been your estate,
Fastened round with
Crags divine;
‘til all souls end
Have countless ages passed!
Standing here,
I see you, yet am awed by
Your lofty peak and
Valley’s deep, where
Plunge seething cataracts of
Waters pure to pools where
Morning never leaves –
Mists rise and roll across, and
When the evening comes
Clouds trail in and
Cover all,
Even, with sadness, my heart, so
The rising mists
Never leave my thoughts, and of
Your running waters’
Clear, pure sound
Through ten thousand ages
Will I ever tell
Unending as a river’s flow…

Ōtomo no Ikenushi
大伴池主

Love III: 27

Left.
わが中を布留の荒田とうち捨て誰にゆきあひの早稲作らん

wa ga naka o
furu no arada to
uchisutete
tare ni yukiai no
wase tukuran
Our love
As the overgrown fields at Furu
Has been abandoned;
Who do you go to now,
To grow fresh seedlings?

Kenshō
773

Right (Win).
山深み苔の下もる谷水や年経る恋の涙なるらん

yama fukami
koke no shita moru
tanimizu ya
toshi heru koi no
namida naruran
Deep within the mountains
From underneath the moss leaks
Water to the valleys;
Enduring through the years are my love’s
Tears…

Ietaka
774

Both teams say the poems have no fault.

In judgement: both poems seem equal in expression, but the quality of the lower section of the Left’s poem is extremely poor, so I make the Right’s ‘from underneath the moss leaks’ (koke no shita moru) the winner.

Love I: 17

Left (Win).

谷深みはるかに人をきくの露触れぬ袂よ何しほるらん

tani fukami
haruka ni hito o
kiku no tsuyu
furenu tamoto yo
nani shioruran
Deep within the valley,
Of her, a distant
Word; no dew from the chrysanthemum
Has touched my sleeves, so
Why are they so damp?

A Servant Girl.

633

Right.

君をのみ心づくしに企救の池言ひ出ぬより袖ぞ濡れぬる

kimi o nomi
kokoro zukushi ni
kiku no ike
ii’idenu yori
sode zo nurenuru
Only you do
Fill the whole of my heart;
Word of the waters of Kiku Pond,
A mere mention and
My sleeves are soaked….

Lord Tsune’ie.

634

The Gentlemen of the Right state: the Left’s poem is without fault. The Gentlemen of the Left state: while the Right’s ‘Kiku Pond’ (kiku no ike) does have something novel about it, ‘a mere mention’ (ii’idenu) is pedestrian.

Shunzei’s judgement: The Left’s ‘chrysanthemum valley’ (kiku no tani) and the Right’s ‘chrysanthemum pond’ (kiku no ike) both along the same lines and seem to sound charming [okashiku koso kikoehaberumeredomo]; still, ‘no dew from the chrysanthemum has touched my sleeves’ (kiku no tsuyu furenu tamoto yo) seems a little more elegant to me now.

Winter II: 12

Left (Win).

清水もる谷の戸ぼそも閉ぢはてゝ氷を叩く嶺の松風

shimizu moru
tani no toboso mo
tojihatete
kōri o tataku
mine no matsukaze
Where spring waters flow
From out the valley mouth
Is stopped;
Against the ice strikes
The wind from off the pine-filled peaks.

A Servant Girl.

563

Right.

梢にも夜半の白雪積もるらし音弱り行嶺の松風

kozue ni mo
yowa no shirayuki
tsumorurashi
oto yowariyuku
mine no matsukaze
The treetops, too,
Within the snows tonight
Are buried, it seems:
The sounds have softened of
The wind from off the pine-filled peaks.

Nobusada.

564

Neither Left nor Right find any fault.

Shunzei’s judgement: The phrasing of both poems, such as ‘wind from off the pine-filled peaks’ (mine no matsukaze), ‘Against the ice strikes’ (kōri o tataku) and ‘sounds have softened’ (oto yowariyuku), has not particular strong or weak points [kōotsu nakuhaberedo], but still, ‘against the ice strikes’ seems a little superior.