Tag Archives: toko

Eien narabō uta’awase 15

The Moon

Round One

Left (Win)

いたまよりねざめのとこにもる月をこひしきひととおもはましかば

itama yori
nezame no toko ni
moru tsuki o
koishiki hito to
omowamashikaba
Between the boards,
Waking me in my bed
Drips moonlight—
The man I love
If only it did more than bring to mind…

Lord Dainagon
29

Right

くれはどりふたむらやまをきて見ればめもあやにこそ月も見えけれ

kurehadori
futamurayama o
kite mireba
me mo aya ni koso
tsuki mo miekere
When the weave of twilight
Upon Futamura Mountain
One comes to see,
Another pattern fills the eye—
Bright moonlight.

Lord Chūnagon
30

The poem of the Left has an extremely refined configuration, but is lacking much of a conception of the moon, and has a much greater one of love. The poem of the Right has a moving conception, but it is about scarlet leaves that one says ‘another pattern fills the eye’. There have been no compositions to date utilizing this about the moon. As both poems have dubious elements, I feel they are of the same quality.

I must say that the initial section of the poem of the Left, ‘between the boards’, is something that not even the poets of bygone days placed at the beginning of their poems. I would say that such expressions as ‘between the boards of a ruined house’ sound blended, implying that the appearance within is fine. Perhaps the poet mistook this? In addition, I do not feel that this is a moon poem, and would have to say that it’s a love one. It really is very odd, isn’t it—suddenly including a love poem here. The poem of the Right has nothing about it worth mentioning, yet it appears to be a moon poem superficially. There’s nothing for it but, faced with the poem of the Left, which beats the hastiest of hasty retreats and ignores the essential meaning of the topic, but to make it the winner!

Sumiyoshi-sha uta’awase kaō ni-nen 38

Round Thirteen

Left

しぐれもるたびねのとこははなぞめのたもとぞさきにまづかへりける

shigure moru
tabine no toko wa
hanazome no
tamoto zo saki ni
mazu kaerikeru
A shower drips upon me
As I doze upon my journey-bed;
Blossom-dyed,
My sleeves, before me,
Have first returned to what they were!

Masahira
75

Right (Win)

はなれゆくみやこをおもふひとりねのなみだをさそふはつしぐれかな

hanareyuku
miyako o omou
hitorine no
namida o sasou
hatsushigure kana
Distant has grown
The capital, but it fills my thoughts,
Sleeping solo,
My tears invited by
The first shower!

Chikashige
76

The configuration of the Left’s poem appears charming, but it would have sounded more so had there been a reason why ‘my sleeves, before’ had returned to the capital on the journey. The diction and conception of the Right’s poem, beginning with ‘distant has grown’ and leading to ‘tears invited’, is extremely pleasant. It seems the Right wins.

Sumiyoshi-sha uta’awase kaō ni-nen 36

Round Eleven

Left (Win)

かりのいほはそそくしぐれもとまらねばつゆわけごろもほしぞかねつる

kari no io wa
sosoku shigure mo
tomaraneba
tsuyuwakegoromo
hoshi zo kanetsuru
Upon my crude hut,
Dripping, the showers, too,
Never cease, so
My dew-soaked garb
To dry is impossible!

Kyō
71

Right

さらぬだにたびねのとこはつゆけきにいかにせよとてうちしぐるらむ

saranu dani
tabine no toko wa
tsuyukeki ni
ika ni seyo tote
uchishigururamu
Even ‘twere not to be,
My journey-bed is
Drenched with dew, so
What am I to do,
Beneath these falling showers?

Suehiro
72

The Left has ‘dripping, the showers, too’, while the Right has ‘what am I to do’ and so forth—while neither of these is poor in terms of conception and diction, the initial section of the Right sounds extremely commonplace, thus the Left’s conception of agonizing over the being unable to dry dew-soaked garb is slightly superior in the current context.

Sumiyoshi-sha uta’awase kaō ni-nen 32

Round Seven

Left (Tie)

きしちかみたびねのとこをうつなみのかへるひまにぞしぐれとはしる

kishi chikami
tabine no toko o
utsu nami no
kaeru hima ni zo
shigure to wa shiru
Close by the coast
My journey’s bed is
Struck by waves;
In the space as they withdraw,
I know that showers are falling.

Dharma Master Yūsei
63

Right

しばのとをたたくあらしのおとにまたしぐれうちそふたびのよはかな

shiba no to o
tataku arashi no
oto ni mata
shigure uchisou
tabi no yowa kana
Upon my brushwood door
The storm wind came a’knocking;
The sound then
Laced with showers,
At midnight on my travels!

Norimori
64

In the Left’s poem, it sounds as if the shower is continuing to fall quietly, yet it then appears to have the conception that one knows the showers are falling in the gaps between the waves breaking. In the Right’s poem, ‘The storm wind came a’knocking; / The sound then’ sounds charming, but I do wonder about how it looks to have lines beginning beginning with both ‘brushwood door’ [shiba no to] and ‘showers’ [shigure]. Thus, again, these tie.

Daikōtaigōgū no suke taira no tsunemori-ason ke uta’awase 21

Round Nine

Left (Tie)

秋はぎを草の枕にむすびてや妻恋ひかねて鹿のふすらん

akihagi o
kusa no makura ni
musubite ya
tsuma koikanete
shika no fusuran
The autumn bush clover
For a grassy pillow
Has he woven—is that why
Unable to love his mate
The stag seems to lie?

Koreyuki
41

Right

妻こふる秋にしなればさをしかの床の山とてうちもふされじ

tsuma kouru
aki ni shi nareba
saoshika no
toko no yama tote
uchi mo fusareji
He yearns for his mate
In autumn, above all, so
In the stag’s
Bed among the mountains
He cannot lay him down, it seems.

Arifusa
42

The Left isn’t bad, but isn’t there Controller Kore’ie’s poem:

秋萩を草の枕にむすぶ夜はちかくもしかのこゑをきくかな

akihagi o
kusa no makura ni
musubu yo wa
chikaku mo shika no
koe o kiku kana
The autumn bush clover
For a grassy pillow
I weave tonight—
Close by, truly, a stag’s
Bell I hear! [1]

While there is this earlier example, neither core nor the conceptions of these poems are the same, and as the Right’s poem is not all that good, after careful consideration I make this a tie.


[1] On hearing a stag at his lodgings. KYS (3) III: 224

Daikōtaigōgū no suke taira no tsunemori-ason ke uta’awase 16

Round Four

Left

さをしかのなくねはよそにききつれど涙は袖の物にぞ有りける

saoshika no
naku ne wa yoso ni
kikitsuredo
namida wa sode no
mono ni zo arikeru
The stag’s
Sad bell in the distance
Did I hear, yet still
My tears my sleeves
Have covered.

Sadanaga
31

Right (Win)

山たかみおろすあらしやよわるらんかすかに成りぬさをしかの声

yama takami
orosu arashi ya
yowaruran
kasuka ni narinu
saoshika no koe
From the mountain’s heights
Descending, has the storm wind
Weakened?
Faintly comes
The stag’s bell.

Lord Suetsune
32

I do wonder about the Left, given that there appears to be a poem by the late Lord Toshiyori:

さをしかのなくねは野べにきこゆれどなみだは床の物にぞ有りける

saoshika no
naku ne wa nobe ni
kikoyuredo
namida wa toko no
mono ni zo arikeru[1]
The stag’s
Sad bell upon the plain
I heard, yet
My tears my bed
Have covered.

I am a little leery of the Right’s central line, but overall it is not the case that this poem lacks conception, so it should win.


[1] KYS (3) III: 225 Composed on ‘listening to stags in a hut in the fields’. Also SZS V: 310 ‘Composed when he heard a stag belling while at a mountain retreat in Tanakami’. Also Sanboku kikashū 451 ‘Listening to stags in a hut in the fields’.

MYS X: 2310

A sedōka

蟋蟀之 吾床隔尓 鳴乍本名 起居管 君尓恋尓 宿不勝尓

こほろぎの あがとこのへに なきつつもとな おきゐつつ きみにこふるに いねかてなくに

koporogi no
a ga toko no pe ni
nakitutu mo to na
okiwitutu
kimi ni kopuru ni
inekatenaku ni
The crickets
By my bedside
Are ever crying!
Arising
My love for you
Keeps me from sleeping more…

Anonymous

Daikōtaigōgū daijin kiyosuke-ason ke uta’awase 04

Round Four

Left (Win)

春の夜はいこそねられねねやちかき梅のにほひにおどろかれつつ

haru no yo wa
i koso nerarene
neya chikaki
ume no nioi ni
odorokaretsutsu
On a night in springtime
I cannot sleep at all, for
Close by my bedchamber
The scent of plum
Ever wakes me from my slumber…

Norimori
7

Right

さ夜ふかみ旅ねの床にかをらずは梅さく宿といかでしらまし

sayo fukami
tabine no toko ni
ka orazu wa
ume saku yado to
ikade shiramashi
Deep within brief night
In a traveller’s bed
No scent reaches me, yet
That plum blooms at this dwelling—
How is it I might know?

Kenshō
8

The Left is particularly evocative. The Right is from an old poetry match.