思ふかひなき世なりけり年月をあだにちぎりて我や住まひし
| omou kai naki yo narikeri toshitsuki o ada ni chigirite ware ya sumaishi | Loving you no Point there turned out to be; Months and years of Faithless vows— Was that how I lived? |
Anonymous
Tag Archives: toshitsuki
Naidaijin-ke uta’awase 35
Round Eleven
Left (T – Win; M – Tie)
逢ふことをその年月と契らねば命や恋の限なるらむ
| au koto o sono toshitsuki to chigiraneba inochi ya koi no kagiri naruramu | That we might meet For months and years She has not promised, so My life will my love’s Limit be, no doubt! |
Lord Shigemoto
69
Right
よとともにもえこそわたれ我が恋は不二の高根のけぶりならねど
| yo to tomo ni moe koso watare wa ga koi wa fuji no takane no keburi naranedo | With the coming of the night Ever burning is My love, though From Fuji’s peak Smoke it is not… |
Lord Toshitaka
70
Toshiyori states: the first poem doesn’t seem bad. The second poem nothing but cliched. Thus, the first poem should win.
Mototoshi states: while love lasting lifelong without even a promise to meet over years and months is a painfully moving conception, someone burning every night is dear, too. Thus, it’s not inferior and these are of the same quality.
Horikawa-in Enjo Awase 26
Eikyū hyakushu 651
Love III: 28
Left.
いかなりし世世の報ひのつらさにてこの年月に弱らざるらん
| ika narishi yoyo no mukui no tsurasa nite kono toshitsuki ni yowarazaruran |
How many are My lives blessed with Pain alone, that Through these passing years and months It shows no sign of weakening? |
Lord Sada’ie
775
Right.
年経にしつらきに堪へてながらふと聞かれんさへぞ今は悲しき
| toshi henishi tsuraki ni taete nagarau to kikaren sae zo ima wa kanashiki |
The years have passed In nothing but pain On and on; All you would hear from me, though, Is that, now, I am sad. |
Lord Takanobu
776
The Right state: ‘It shows no sign of weakening’ [yowarazaruran] seems unsatisfactory in its placement in this poem. The Left state: there are no faults to inidicate.
In judgement: the Left’s second section seems fine, but the initial section’s ‘pain alone’ (tsurasa) sounds overly forceful. However, in the Right’s poem ‘All you would hear from me, though, is that, now, I am sad’ (kikaren sae zo ima wa kanashiki) in the final section seems both overly explicit and somewhat weak. I cannot award a win this round.