Composed at his hut in the mountains, after becoming a monk.
山里は庭の梢の音待ても世をすさみたる景色なるかな
| yamazato wa niwa no kozue no oto matemo yo o susamitaru keshiki kana |
In a mountain dwelling, From the treetops in the grounds I await a sound, yet How awful I feel is the world Laid before me… |
Saigyō
西行
高円の野路の篠原末騒ぎそそや秋風今日吹きぬなり
| takamado no noji no shinohara sue sawagi sosoya akikaze kyō fukinu nari |
In Takamado, At Shinohara in Noji, Noisy in the treetops Rustles the autumn wind As it blows today. |
薄く濃きおなじ梢の柞原分きて時雨の降るにやあるらむ
| usuku koki onaji kozue no hahasowara wakite shigure no furu ni ya aruramu |
First faint, then clear, The selfsame treetops of The oaks Divided, in the showers’ Fall do seem… |
Higo
京極関白家肥後
育みし梢淋しくなりぬらむ柞の森の散り行く見れば
| hagukumishi kozue sabishiku narinuramu hahaso no mori no chiriyuku mireba |
Carefully raised The treetops lonely Do seem to have become; When the oak groves Scatter in my sight… |
Minamoto no Shunrai
源俊頼
紅葉ばもみな散り果てて柞原今日は梢ぞまばらなりける
| momijiba mo mina chirihatete hahasowara kyō wa kozue zo mabara narikeru |
The yellow leaves Have all completely fallen from The oaks; Today, the treetops Are clear to see! |
夏山の峰の梢し高ければ空にぞ蟬の声も聞ゆる
| natuyama no mine no kozuwe si takakereba sora ni zo semi no kowe mo kikoyuru |
Summer mountain Tree-topped peaks Are so high that, Out among the skies the cicadas’ Song I hear. |
Left (Win).
重ねずと思ふばかりぞ小夜衣匂ひは袖に移りぬるかな
| kasanezu to omou bakari zo sayogoromo nioi wa sode ni utsurinuru kana |
No piled robes, but All I do is long for her: Her night-robe’s Scent upon my sleeves Does dwell…. |
Lord Suetsune
881
Right.
匂ひ來る梢ばかりを情にて主は遠き宿の梅が枝
| nioikuru kozue bakari o nasake nite aruji wa tōki yado no mume ga e |
The scent drifting From the treetops is my only Consolation, for Their master is as far away As his dwelling’s plum blossom branches… |
Nobusada
882
The Right state: the Left’s poem lacks any faults to indicate. The Left state: is the Right’s poem not composed upon the plum blossom of the house next door?
In judgement: for the topic of ‘Nearby Love’, poems composed where the lovers are in the same room are most likely winners. Even so, how close do their dwellings need to be? The Left’s latter section, ‘Her night-robe’s scent upon my sleeves’ (sayogoromo nioi wa sode ni) is certainly elegant. The Right’s poem has ‘Their master is as far away’ (aruji wa tōki). Simply because of this, it is certainly not composed on plum blossom. Still, the Left’s ‘night-robe’ (sayogoromo) seems a little superior to ‘The scent drifting from the treetops is my only consolation’ (nioikuru kozue bakari o nasake nite).
雲とづる梢ながめて時鳥聞かで聞きつるただ今の空
| kumo tozuru kozue nagamete hototogisu kikade kikitsuru tada ima no sora |
Closed in with cloud The treetops draw my gaze; A cuckoo I hear and yet do not From the sky just now. |
Jien
慈円
Shūgyokushū
拾玉集
Left (Tie).
たどりつる道に今宵は更けにけり杉の梢に在明の月
| tadoritsuru michi ni koyoi wa fukenikeri sugi no kozue ni ariake no tsuki |
Trailing along The roads, tonight Has ended, with The cedar tops touched By the dawntime moon. |
657
Right.
心こそ行方も知らぬ三輪の山杉の木ずゑの夕暮の空
| kokoro koso yukue mo shiranu miwa no yama sugi no kozue no yūgure no sora |
My heart’s Heading I know not! On Mount Miwa above The cedar tops lies The dusking evening sky. |
658
The Gentlemen of both the Left and Right state that they find no faults in the opposing poem.
Shunzei’s judgement: The Left has ‘cedar tops touched by the dawntime moon’ (sugi no kozue ni ariake no tsuki) and the Right has ‘cedar tops lies the dusking evening sky’ (sugi no kozue no yūgure no sora) – both poems are charming [okashiku mo haberu]. While the Left lacks a reference to Mount Miwa, this makes it sound all the more charming, I think. ‘Dawntime moon’ is particularly fine in its tranquillity, but the Right’s ‘dusking evening sky’ is by no means inferior, so, again, the round should tie.
Left (Win).
清水もる谷の戸ぼそも閉ぢはてゝ氷を叩く嶺の松風
| shimizu moru tani no toboso mo tojihatete kōri o tataku mine no matsukaze |
Where spring waters flow From out the valley mouth Is stopped; Against the ice strikes The wind from off the pine-filled peaks. |
563
Right.
梢にも夜半の白雪積もるらし音弱り行嶺の松風
| kozue ni mo yowa no shirayuki tsumorurashi oto yowariyuku mine no matsukaze |
The treetops, too, Within the snows tonight Are buried, it seems: The sounds have softened of The wind from off the pine-filled peaks. |
564
Neither Left nor Right find any fault.
Shunzei’s judgement: The phrasing of both poems, such as ‘wind from off the pine-filled peaks’ (mine no matsukaze), ‘Against the ice strikes’ (kōri o tataku) and ‘sounds have softened’ (oto yowariyuku), has not particular strong or weak points [kōotsu nakuhaberedo], but still, ‘against the ice strikes’ seems a little superior.