Tag Archives: treetops

Kinkai wakashū 634

The summer moon above a shrine.[i]

ながむれば吹く風すずしみわの山杉の木ずゑをいづる月影

nagamureba
fuku kaze suzushi
miwa no yama
sugi no kozue o
izuru tsukikage
While I was staring into space,
How cool the gusting breeze, as
Above Mount Miwa’s
Cedar treetops
Emerges the moon…[ii]

634


[i] As with poem 631, the topic here, ‘The summer moon above the shrine’ (shatō kagetsu 社頭夏月) was generally used when the poet had a specific shrine in mind—in this case, Ōmiwa Shrine (Ōmiwa jinja 大神神社).

[ii] See: As part of a hundred-poem sequence. ながむれば衣手すゞしひさかたのあまのかはらの秋のゆふぐれ nagamureba / koromode suzushi / hisakata no / ama no kawara no / aki no yūgure ‘While I was staring into space, / How chill my sleeves became; / Upon eternal / Heaven’s riverbed / Comes an autumn evening.’ Princess Shokushi (Shinkokinshū IV: 321)

Kinkai wakashū 623

Composed and sent to the residence of the Superintendent Abbot of Tsurugaoka[i] on a morning when snow had fallen.

つるの岡あふぎてみれば峰の松梢はるかに雪ぞつもれる

tsuru no oka
ōgite mireba
mine no matsu
kozue haruka ni
yuki zo tsumoreru
When to the Hill of Cranes
I lift up my gaze,
On the peaks beyond, pine
Treetops in the distance
Are covered with drifted snow.

623


[i] Tsurugaoka Hachiman Shrine (Tsurugaoka hachimangū 鶴岡八幡宮) is located in Yukinoshita in Kamakura and venerated Hachiman, the deity of war and warriors as the patron of the Minamoto clan. The shrine thus was, and still is, one of the focal points of the city and where many of its most important festivals are held. It was also the location of Sanetomo’s assassination in 1219. The Superintendent Abbot (bettō sōzu  別当僧都) to whom Sanetomo sent this time was probably the shrine’s third, Teigyō 定暁 (dates unknown) (Higuchi 2016, 96).

Eien narabō uta’awase 05

Round Five

Left (Win)

さくらやまはなのさかりに風ふけばこずゑをこして白波ぞたつ

sakurayama
hana no sakari ni
kaze fukeba
kozue o koshite
shiranami zo tatsu
On the mount of Cherries
So fine is the blossom that
When the wind does blow,
Passing o’er the treetops,
Whitecaps arise!

Controller’s Graduate
9

Right

この春ははなにこころのあくがれてこのもとにてもくらしつるかな

kono haru wa
hana ni kokoro no
akugarete
ko no moto nite mo
kurashitsuru kana
This springtime
By the blossoms my heart
Is captivated, and
Beneath the trees
Does dwell!

Kerin’in Graduate
10

Both Left and Right, in terms of diction, tone and style are superb with no faults at all. Thus, this is a tie.

The final section of the Left’s poem lacks fluency, yet it has conception. As for the Right’s poem, in order for one’s heart to be captivated by the blossom on every single treetop, one would need to be walking around. If one is resting peacefully beneath the trees, then one should say that one’s heart is captured. This section sounds erroneous, so the Left should win.

Naidaijin-ke uta’awase 11

Round Eleven

Left

さごろもの袂はせばしかづけども時雨の雨は心してふれ

sagoromo no
tamoto wa sebashi
kazukedomo
shigure no ame wa
kokoroshite fure
My night robe’s
Sleeves are narrow:
I cover myself, yet,
O rain shower,
Fall with care!

Lord Toshitaka
21

Right (Both Judges – Win)

はつ時雨音信しより水ぐきの岡の梢の色をしぞ思ふ

hatsushigure
otozureshi yori
mizuguki no
oka no kozue no
iro o shi zo omou
Since the first shower
Came to call,
Mizuguki
Hill’s treetops’
Hues fill my thoughts…

Lord Tokimasa
22

Toshiyori states: the poem on night robes has ‘Fall with care!’ – is this expressing regret over getting wet? In addition, there’s ‘I cover myself, yet’: it would have been preferable to have this element first. The poem on the ‘first shower’ is not that remarkable, yet it does sound smooth. ‘Hues fill my thoughts’ feels conspicuously old-fashioned, and yet composing using ‘Mizuguki’ seem superior.

Mototoshi states: what on earth is the poet doing saying his ‘night robe’ is ‘narrow’? In the Code of the Shijō Major Counsellor this is indicted to be a bad thing—‘a shallow poem with weighty words’! The poem of the Right has ‘Since the first shower / Came to call’ and I feel that this is how a poem on showers ought to be. Saying ‘Hill’s treetops’ / Hues fill my thoughts’ is a bit trite, but still charming, so this is superior, isn’t it.

Naidaijin-ke uta’awase 04

Round Four

Left (M – Win)

水鳥の青葉の山やいかならん梢をそむる今朝のしぐれに

mizutori no
aoba no yama ya
ika naran
kozue o somuru
kesa no shigure ni
Waterfowl fly above
Aoba Mountain—
O, what is to become
Of the treetops dyed
By this morning’s shower?

Lord Akinaka
7

Right (T – Win)

かきくもり蜑の小ぶねにふく苫の下とほるまで時雨れしにけり

kakikumori
ama no obune ni
fuku toma no
shita tōru made
shigureshinikeri
Clouds rake in above
The fisher’s tiny boat—
Through its rush-woven roof
And even beneath
A shower has fallen.

Lord Michitsune
8

Toshiyori states: Continuing on from ‘Waterfowl fly above / Aoba Mountain’ with ‘the treetops dyed’ is simple and straightforward. The latter poem’s emphasis on the fisher’s tiny boat is an unexpected expression, yet because it is not a fault, I make this poem the winner.

Mototoshi states: saying ‘Waterfowl fly above / Aoba Mountain’ is extremely hackneyed, yet the poem of the Right has ‘Clouds rake in above / The fisher’s tiny boat— / Through its rush-woven roof’: both spring showers and summer ones, too, are not things which fall constantly, so it is difficult to believe that they could fall ‘even beneath’. So, I have to determine that a shower dyeing the treetops is a little better.

Sumiyoshi-sha uta’awase kaō ni-nen 45

Round Twenty

Left

たびねするいそのとまやのむらしぐれあはれをなみのうちそへてける

tabinesuru
iso no tomaya no
murashigure
aware o nami no
utchisoetekeru
Dozing on my travels
In a sedge-thatched hut upon the rocky shore,
The cloudbursts’
Sadness with that of the waves
Is laced.

Lord Sane’ie
89

Right (Win)

もりもあへずまだきにぬるるたもとかなこずゑしぐるるまつのしたぶし

mori mo aezu
mada ki ni nururu
tamoto kana
kozue shigururu
matsu no shitabushi
No drips
Yet have come to my soaking
Sleeves—
The treetops showered, as
Beneath the pines I lay me down.

Atsuyori
90

The Left’s sound of the waves ‘In a sedge-thatched hut upon the rocky shore… Sadness with that of the waves / Is laced’ does, indeed, convey an inference of sadness, but the concluding ‘is laced’ sounds a bit inappropriate. The Right’s conception and configuration, too, are extremely charming. ‘Beneath the pines I lay me down’ is, I think, a novel construction—although I do get the impression that that it sounds like something which has prior precedent. Still, saying ‘No drips / Have yet come to my soaking’ and then ‘The treetops showered, as / Beneath the pines’ means that the sound conveys the loneliness as it truly is. Thus, again, the Right wins.

Sumiyoshi-sha uta’awase kaō ni-nen 17

Left (Tie)

月さゆるつもりのうらのみづがきはふりしくゆきにいろもかはらず

tsuki sayuru
tsumori no ura no
mizukaki wa
furishiku yuki ni
iro wa kawarazu
The moon, so chill, shines
Upon the Bay of Tsumori,
Where the honored sacred grounds,
Spread with fallen snow
Remain unchanged in hue.

Taifu, in service to the Former Ise Virgin[i]
33

Right

あらしふくまつのこずゑにきりはれてかみもこころやすみのえの月

arashi fuku
matsu no kozue ni
kiri harete
kami mo kokoro ya
suminoe no tsuki
The storm wind blows
Across the treetops of the pines,
Clearing the mists away—
I wonder, is the Deity’s heart at
Suminoe beneath the moon?

Lord Fujiwara no Sadanaga
Junior Assistant Minister of Central Affairs
Exalted Fifth Rank, Lower Grade[ii]
34

The Left’s poem appears to be about chill fallen snow spread upon Tsumori Bay, so in saying that the waters bounding the sacred grounds cannot conceal the hue, it appears to be saying that the moon’s light is white, but I wonder if the diction is a bit insufficient to convey this? It seems to me that it simply says that although snow has fallen on the waters bounding the sacred grounds, their hue has not changed—doesn’t it? As for the Right’s poem, I can say that its conception and configuration are pleasant, but it begins with ‘the storm wind blows’ and one cannot say ‘storm wind’ along with ‘beach pines’. One can understand this based on the poem ‘Yes, the mountain wind / Is aptly named “Storm”‘. Still, the poem’s configuration does appear pleasant. Again, I make this a tie.


[i] Zen-saigū no Taifu 前斎宮大輔

[ii] Jūgoige-gyō nakatsukasa no shō Fujiwara ason Sadanaga 従五位下行中務少輔藤原朝臣定長