Tag Archives: Tsune’ie

Love VII: 14

Left (Win).
いつかさはまたは逢ふ瀬を松浦潟此河上に家は住むとも

itsuka sa wa
mata wa ause o
matsu’uragata
kono kawakami ni
ie wa sumu tomo
Sometime it may be that
Again we’ll meet, so
I await, though on Matsura Inlet’s
Upper reaches
Does my house lie…

Lord Sada’ie
987

Right.
水無瀬川淺き契と思へども涙は袖にかけぬ間ぞなき

minasegawa
asaki chigiri to
omoedomo
namida wa sode ni
kakenu ma zo naki
The River Minase runs
Shallow as our vows
I feel, yet
Tears upon my sleeves
Fall without a single pause…

Lord Tsune’ie
988

The Right state: we are unable to admire the Left’s poem. The Left state: if the initial part of the poem has ‘shallow’ (asashi), we would like there to be ‘deep’ (fukashi) in the concluding section. In addition, is the poem suggesting that the shallows do not give rise to waves? The initial and concluding section of the poem do not match and the whole is old-fashioned.

In judgement: the Gentlemen of the Right state that they are unable to admire the Left’s poem. It also sounds like there are a number of accumulated criticisms of the Right’s poem.  This is enough to cause me quite some perplexity. I am unable to identify any faults in the Left’s poem which render it unworthy of appreciation. Thus, the Left wins.

Love VII: 8

Left (Tie).
わたの原沖つ潮風に立つ浪の寄り來やかかる汀なりとも

wata no hara
oki tsu nami ni
tatsu nami no
yoriko ya kakaru
migiwa naritomo
Across the broad sea sweep,
The waves from the offing,
The breakers:
So I would have you come to me,
Though I be such a shore…

Lord Ari’ie.
975

Right.
わたの原深き契りや渚なるかたし貝ともなりにける哉

wata no hara
fukaki ya chigiri
nagisa naru
katashigai tomo
narinikeru kana
The broad sea sweep’s
Depths: did our vow match them?
Upon the beach lie
Single seashells:
That is what we have become!

Lord Tsune’ie.
976

The Right state: we are unable to appreciate the Left’s poem. The Left state: as are we the Right’s poem.

In judgement: the Left’s poem would seem to be an improved example of a poem in the style of the previous round. That being said, the waves wouldn’t not come, would they? And, what is the point in addressing them so? The Right’s poem has an extremely flippant final section. The poems are comparable and should tie.

Love VII: 5

Left (Win).
末の松待つ夜幾度過ぬらん山超す浪を袖にまかせて

sue no matsu
matsu yo ikutabi
suginuran
yama kosu nami o
sode ni makasete
At the pines of Sué
How many nights have I spent
Pining for him?
As the waves break over the mountain
So let them on my sleeves…

A Servant Girl.
969

Right.
人知れず君に心を筑波山ひまなきものはなげき也けり

hito shirezu
kimi ni kokoro o
tsukubayama
himanaki mono wa
nageki narikeri
Secretly
For you has my heart
Yearned to exhaustion; as Tsukuba Mountain’s
Close packed trees, endless
Is my grief.

Lord Tsune’ie.
970

The Gentlemen of the Right state: in what way are the the waves ‘allowed’ in ‘let them on my sleeves’ (sode ni makasuru)? The Left state: the Right uses Tsukuba, followed by ‘close packed trees, endless’ (himanaki), and although this does have the same meaning, it would be more customary to use ‘verdant’ (shigeki).

In judgement: although the Left’s  ‘so let them on my sleeves’ (sode ni makasete) sounds somewhat unclear, the Right’s ‘Tsukuba Mountain’s close packed trees, endless’ suggests many layers of reed-thatch, I think. ‘As the waves break over the mountain’ (yama kosu nami) seems to reach greater heights.

Love VI: 26

Left (Win).
戀死なんのちを思へば目にぞたつそのゆへもなき空の煙も

koishinan
nochi o omoeba
me ni zo tatsu
sono yue mo naki
sora no keburi mo
I shall die of love, and
When I think on it
What should touch my eyes
But, lacking any meaning,
Smoke rising to the skies…

Lord Ari’ie.
951

Right.
戀ひ死なむ後は煙とあがるとも君が方へぞ猶なびくべき

koishinamu
nochi wa kemuri to
agaru tomo
kimi ga kata e zo
nao nabikubeki
When I have died of love
Then, though as smoke
I may rise,
Still towards you
I shall trail!

Lord Tsune’ie.
952

The Right state: the Left’s poem has no faults. The Left state: we wonder about the use of ‘rise’ (agaru) in the Right’s poem.

In judgement: both poems have ‘die for love’ (koishinan), and there are no particular features of either which warrant a victory or a loss, but ‘touch my eyes’ (me ni tatsu) seems a little finer than the Right’s ‘rise’ (agaru) ‘towards’ (kata e zo).

Love VI: 20

Left.
雨そそき人待つ宵は憂かりけりこやことづけにならんと思へば

ame sosoki
hito matsu yoi wa
ukarikeri
koya kotozuke ni
naran to omoeba
Rain dripping,
The nights awaiting him are
Cruel, indeed;
That is his excuse,
Or so I feel!

Lord Suetsune.
939

Right (Win).
頼めねど絶えず音する時雨かな戀しき人のかゝらましかば

tanomenedo
taezu otosuru
shigure kana
koishiki hito no
kakaramashikaba
I put no trust in you, yet
Ceaselessly, you come to call
O, showers!
I would that the man I love
Would do the same…

Lord Tsune’ie.
940

The Right state: the Left’s poem has no faults. The Left state: the Right’s poem is pedestrian.

In judgement: in the Left’s poem, while ‘rain dripping’ (ame sosoki) sounds like it should recall Eastern House, there is no clear reason for this, and ‘that is his excuse’ (koya kotozuke) would also seem to refer to ‘“In the land of Tsu / Come on”’ (tsu no kuni no / koya). ‘Rain dripping’, though, does not link to this, I think. While the Right’s poem may be pedestrian, it certainly should win.

Love VI: 13

Left.
ひとり寢の憂き身になるゝ秋風をつれなき人の心ともがな

hitorine no
ukimi ni naruru
akikaze o
tsurenaki hito no
kokoro tomo gana
To sleeping alone
In desolation am I accustomed;
O, that the autumn wind were
My cruel love’s
Heart…

Lord Suetsune.
925

Right (Win).
夕まぐれ吹くる秋の初風は戀せぬ人も身にやしむらん

yūmagure
fukikuru aki no
hatsukaze wa
koisenu hito mo
mi ni ya shimuran
In the evening’s dusk
Comes blowing autumn’s
First breeze;
Will one who loves not
Be pierced as am I?

Lord Tsune’ie.
926

Both Left and Right together state: we have nothing we feel we should say.

In judgement: the final section of the Left’s poem is clichéd. I also wonder about the sound of ‘in desolation am I’ (ukimi). The Right’s poem has nothing particularly remarkable about it, but it should win

Love VI: 7

Left.
入日さす豊旗雲も何ならず月なき戀の闇し晴れねば

irihi sasu
toyohatagumo mo
nani narazu
tsuki naki koi no
yamishi hareneba
The setting sun shines
On fluttering cloudy pennants, but
Comes to nothing;
With no moon, my love
From darkness will never escape…

Kenshō.
913

Right (Win).
いかなれば心も空に浮雲のかゝる戀する身となりにけ

ika nareba
kokoro mo sora ni
ukigumo no
kakaru koisuru
mi no nariniken
For some reason
My heart, as with the skies
Drifting clouds
Does hang; such a lover
Have I become…

Lord Tsune’ie.
914

The Right state: ‘with no moon, my love’ (tsuki naki koi) sounds poor. The Left state: there is nothing remarkable about this.

In judgement: the Left’s ‘fluttering cloudy pennants’ (toyohatagumo) sounds as if it is introducing something significant, but the conclusion‘from darkness will never escape’ (yamishi hareneba), is restricted. Whilethe Right’s poem, indeed, has nothing remarkable about it, it is elegant. It should win.

Love VI: 6

Left (Win).
袖のうへになるるも人の形見かは我と宿せる秋の夜の月

sode no ue ni
naruru mo hito no
katami ka wa
ware to yadoseru
aki no yo no tsuki
Resting atop my sleeves
Of my love so fond
Are these keepsakes?
Remaining with me, alone
Is the moon this autumn night…

A Servant Girl.
911

Right.
ひとり住む宿の気色とあはれとや憂き身とゝもに在明の月

hitori sumu
yado no keshiki to
aware to ya
ukimi to tomo ni
ariake no tsuki
Living alone,
Is the sight of my home
So pitiful?
Alike are we in desolation,
O, dawntime moon!

Lord Tsune’ie.
912

The Right state: the Left’s poem has no faults. The Left state: the Right’s poem lacks a clear conception of love.

In judgement: the Left’s poem, indeed, has no faults. It should win.

Love V: 25

Left (Win).
枕にも跡にも露の玉散りてひとり起きゐる小夜の中山

makura ni mo
ato ni mo tsuyu no
tama chirite
hitori oki’iru
sayo no naka yama
Upon my pillow and
My foot prints both, dew
Drops have fallen
Awakening alone in
Sayo-no-Nakayama.

A Servant Girl
889

Right.
草枕ひとりあかしの浦風にいとゞ涙ぞ落ちまさりける

kusamakura
hitori akashi no
ura kaze ni
itodo namida zo
ochimasarikeru
Pillowed on the grass,
Alone at dawn in Akashi,
The breeze from the bay
Makes even more tears
Fall.

Lord Tsune’ie.
890

The Right state they have no criticisms of the Left’s poem. The Left merely say that the Right’s poem is ‘old-fashioned’.

Shunzei’s judgement: The Left’s ‘dew drops’ (tsuyu no tama) falling so widely at Sayo-no-Nakayama one can surmise to be deeply expressive of the concept of travel. The Right’s Akashi Bay is a place strongly associated with the sad sound of the wind and the waves, but the final ‘makes even more fall’ (ochimasarikeru) is insufficient. Thus, the Left should win.

Love V: 19

Left (Tie).
聞き馴れてきては心も慰まず聲の通ふは甲斐無かりけり

kikinarete
kite wa kokoro mo
nagusamazu
koe no kayou wa
kai nakarikeri
Familiar to the ear
It comes, but my heart
Has no consolation;
The interplay of voices is
Pointless, indeed.

Lord Ari’ie
877

Right.
睦言の通はぬ中と成ぬれば聲は聞けども甲斐無かりけり

mutsugoto no
kayowanu naka to
narinureba
koe wa kikedomo
kai nakarikeri
Sweet words do we
Exchange
No more, so
Even if I hear your voice, it is
Pointless, indeed.

Lord Tsune’ie
878

Left and Right both state: no faults.

In judgement: the conception of both poems ‘interplay of voices’ (koe kayou), is of the same quality.