Tag Archives: Tsune’ie

Poetry Competition in Six Hundred Rounds

Love X: 20

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Left (Win)
うら山し賤も妻木を立てつめりいつ休むべき恋にかあるらん

urayamashi
shizu mo tsumagi o
tatetsumeri
itsu yasumubeki
koi ni ka aruran		How I envy
The mountain man who kindling
Has gathered all together!
When, though, will I find respite
From love?

Lord Suetsune
1179

Right
思ひ出るかひもなければ山人はあはぬつま木にこりやしぬらん

omoi’izuru
kai mo nakereba
yamabito wa
awanu tsumagi ni
kori ya shinuran		Remembering
Deeply serves no point, but
A mountain man
I am not – unable to meet her – kindling
Should I be cutting?

Lord Tsune’ie
1180

Left and Right together state: we find no faults to indicate.

In judgement: although I wonder the extent to which the Left’s ‘how I envy’ (urayamashi) a mountain man resting is accurate, I also wonder whether this sort of back and forth upon the path is something which commonly appears, so the poem does not seem uninteresting. The Right’s ‘remembering deeply serves no point’ (omoi’izuru kai mo nakereba) does not sound particularly out of the ordinary. The Left wins somehow.

Poetry Competition in Six Hundred Rounds

Love X: 14

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Left (Win)
我恋はあまのさかてを打ち返し思ときてや世をも恨みん

wa ga koi wa
ama no sakate o
uchikaeshi
omoi tokite ya
yo o mo uramin		My love:
With my diver girl’s hands raised to heaven
I cast back
Knowing of these pains of love
The world is all despair!

Lord Kanemune
1167

Right
衣手はしほたるれどもみるめをばかづかぬ海人となりにけるかな

koromode wa
shiotaruredomo
mirume o ba
kazukanu ama to
narinikeru kana		Though my sleeves
Are drenched, as
Unable to catch a glimpse of seaweed
Like a hapless diver-girl
Have I become.

Lord Tsune’ie
1168

The Right state: there are various possible interpretations for ama no sakate. In addition, is it appropriate to compose a poem from the diver-girl’s perspective? The Left state: there is nothing to mention in the Right’s poem.

In judgement: the Left’s ama no sakate is not a particularly good expression, but I see no fault in composing from the diver-girl’s perspective. In recent times, people have come up with alternate interpretations for the phrase, but I see no reason for them. This old fool long ago composed a poem in this way. So I wonder, should I criticise my own composition? There is evidence for this in the Tales of Ise, and other texts, too. However, in poetry competitions, ama no sakate fails to sound appropriate. The Right’s diver-girl with sleeves drenched by the tide and unable to harvest seaweed seems incapable. She cannot be a genuine diver-girl. The Left’s sakate is not that elegant, but the girl is genuine. It wins.

Poetry Competition in Six Hundred Rounds

Love X: 7

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Left
頼むなるあさけ神しも幣はせん君が心やわれになびくと

tanomu naru
asake kami shimo
nusa wa sen
kimi ga kokoro ya
ware ni nabiku to		Worship she does
The goddess Asake, so should even
I make her an offering?
Then might my lady’s heart
Trail in my direction…

Kenshō
1153

Right (Win)
鏡山君に心やうつるらむいそぎ立たれぬ旅衣かな

kagamiyama
kimi ni kokoro ya
utsururamu
isogi tatarenu
tabigoromo kana		Upon Mirror Mount
Has my heart
Found lodging? For
In haste to rise and don
My travelling garb, I am not!

Lord Tsune’ie
1154

Left and Right state: there are no faults to mention in either poem.

In judgement: both Left and Right here refer to a ‘person’ (kimi), with the Left’s ‘making her an offering’ (nusa wa sen) that she might ‘trail in my direction’ (ware ni nabiku ya), while the Right’s has left his heart on Mirror Mount and ‘is not in haste to rise and don his travelling garb’ (isogi tatarenu tabigoromo): each of these poems is evocative, and makes effective use of wordplay, with the Left’s ‘make her an offering’ certainly resembling something I have come across previously, but the initial ‘goddess Asake’ is poor. The Right’s ‘Mirror Mount’ (kagami yama) is something I am familiar with, and this has a gentle tone. Thus, the Right wins.

Poetry Competition in Six Hundred Rounds

Love X: 5

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Left (Win)
心通ふゆききの舟のながめにもさしてかばかり物は思はじ

kokoro kayou
yukiki no fune no
nagame ni mo
sashite ka bakari
mono wa omowaji		Her heart goes out
On the back-and-forth of boats
That fill her gaze, but
Surely her
Thoughts will not be as mine…

Lord Sada’ie
1149

Right
舟のうち浪の上なる浮き寝には立ち帰るとて袖ぞ濡れける

fune no uchi
nami no ue naru
ukine ni wa
tachikaeru tote
sode zo nurekeru		Within a boat,
Atop the waves
I sleep but briefly and
When I am to leave,
How soaked are my sleeves…

Lord Tsune’ie
1150

As the previous round.

In judgement: the use of ‘surely’ (sashite) in the final section of the Left’s poem sounds like it has been deliberately used to evoke a connection with the earlier ‘boat’ (fune). The initial section of the Right’s poem draws, yet again, on Mochitoki’s over-long line. The latter section also sounds like a deliberate use of evocative language, and the final line lacks impact. It is inferior to the Left’s poem.

Poetry Competition in Six Hundred Rounds

Love IX: 25

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Left (Tie)
出にける君が夜床の狭筵にひとり寝してや肌を触れまし

idenikeru
kimi ga yodoko no
samushiro ni
hitorineshite ya
hada o furemashi		 Departed
Is he from our bed tonight, so
On his blanket
Should I sleep alone,
Might I touch his skin?

Kenshō
1129

Right
綾むしろ立ち寄る人はなけれどもあらましにのみ敷きてこそ待て

ayamushiro
tachiyoru hito wa
nakeredomo
aramashi ni nomi
shikite koso mate		 To my patterned blanket
He has not
Drawn near, yet
In simple longing
Will I spread it and await him…

Lord Tsune’ie
1130

Both Left and Right together state: this seems somewhat jocular.

In judgement: the Left’s conception of starting with ‘departed’ (idenikeru), as the poem of a woman sleeping alone and finding traces of a the man who has left on the blanket, sounds extremely poor in style. On the other hand, if it is a man’s poem, has he come upon the traces of a woman after she has left? In any case, whichever it is the initial line is not good at all. The Right’s poem, with its ‘to my patterned blanket he has not drawn near, yet’ (ayamushiro tachiyoru hito wa nakeredomo), also appears to be a woman’s poem. The Left’s humour, and the Right’s longing, are both eccentric. The round must tie.

Poetry Competition in Six Hundred Rounds

Love IX: 21

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Left
うちとけて誰に衣を重ぬらんまろがまろ寝も夜深き物を

uchitokete
tare ni koromo o
kasanuran
maro ga marone mo
yobukaki mono o		 Loosening them,
With whom does he clothes
Pile together?
Sleeping all alone
How deep this night is…

A Servant Girl
1121

Right (Win)
思わび寝る夜の床の露しげみ身のしろ衣かす人もがな

omoiwabi
neru yo no toko no
tsuyu shigemi
mi no shirogoromo
kasu hito mo gana		 In the grief of love,
Sleeping at night, my bed
Is soaked through with dew;
To lend me an over-mantle
Is there no one at all…

Lord Tsune’ie
1122

The Right state: the final section of the Left’s poem is difficult to grasp. The Left state: the Right’s poem has no faults to mention.

In judgement: the Left’s ‘sleeping all alone how deep this night is…’ (maro ga marone mo yobukaki mono o) does not sound as if it links with the initial section of the poem. ‘Alone’ (maro) is also unacceptable. The Right’s ‘to lend me an over-mantle’ (mi no shirogoromo) sounds elegant. I make it the winner.

Poetry Competition in Six Hundred Rounds

Love IX: 17

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Left (Tie)
ます鏡うつしかへけむ姿ゆへ影絶えはてし契をぞ知る

masukagami
utsushikaekemu
sugata yue
kage taehateshi
chigiri o zo shiru		 A clear glass
Will reflect back
My true face, yet
A form fixed forever
Reveals his my vow to me…

A Servant Girl
1113

Right
戀妻に似てや書らん見つるより絵にも心をうつしつる哉

koizuma ni
nite ya kakuran
mitsuru yori
e ni mo kokoro o
utsushitsuru kana		 My beloved wife:
Does this so resemble her, that at
The mere sight of
The painting, my heart
Does move?

Lord Tsune’ie
1114

The Right state: the Left’s poem has no faults. The Left state: the Right’s poems contains a fault, does it not?

In judgement: What are we to make of the Left’s ‘In a clear glass my ever-changing reflected’ (masukagami utsushikaekemu)? While I have the feeling that there is a source for this poem, this aged official is completely unable to grasp it what it might be. It is not the case that the poem is lacking in an elegant style. The Gentlemen of the Left have commented on the existence of a fault in the Right’s poem. Perhaps the two cranes (tsuru)? This type of issue relating to a poem’s formal diction does not seem that serious to me. However, saying ‘does this so resemble her, that at’ (nite ya kakuran) is insufficient in terms of expression. The Left’s ‘clear glass’ would win, if its source were clear, but in its absence, it is difficult to make it the winner.

Poetry Competition in Six Hundred Rounds

Love IX: 9

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Left
あはぬまは琴柱も知らずひく琴の聞きにくきまで音にや立ててむ

awanu ma wa
kotoji mo shirazu
hiku kono no
kikinikuki made
ne ni ya tatetemu		 Yet untuned, and
Ignorant of where to place the bridge,
Playing such a zither is
Hard to hear, as
Are my constant sobs, perhaps…

Lord Kanemune
1097

Right (Win)
松風も琴のしらべに通ふなりわがひとり寝ぞ逢ふよしもなき

matsukaze mo
koto no shirabe ni
kayou nari
wa ga hitorine zo
au yoshi mo naki		 The wind in the pines, as
Zithers’ harmony
Does blend;
Yet I am sleeping solo, with
No cause to meet at all…

Lord Tsune’ie
1098

The Right state: the Left’s poem is preposterous. The Left state: the Right’s poem has no faults to mention.

In judgement: the Left’s poem seems to be aping the style of the Left in the previous round. As for the Right’s poem, although ‘zithers’ harmony’ (koto no shirabe) sounds modern, it is in a standard style. It should win.

Poetry Competition in Six Hundred Rounds

Love IX: 4

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Left (Tie)
うらやましわがりこちくと笛の音を頼むる中の人は聞くらん

urayamashi
wagari kochiku to
fue no ne o
tanomuru naka no
hito wa kikuran		 O, how I envious I am!
To my house comes, a bamboo
Flute’s strains – from
A trustworthy, loving
Man, it sounds…

Lord Suetsune
1087

Right
より竹の君によりけんことぞ憂き一夜のふしに音のみ泣かれて

yoritake no
kimi ni yoriken
koto zo uki
hitoyo no fushi ni
ne nomi nakarete		 Bamboo flotsam –
That you should draw near
Is cruel, indeed, for
A single night together, brings
Only the sound of weeping…

Lord Tsune’ie
1088

‘Flotsam of bamboo’ (yoritake) and ‘comes, a bamboo’ (kochiku) are equally unsatisfying.

In judgement: ‘Flotsam of bamboo’ and ‘comes, a bamboo’ are of equal quality.

Poetry Competition in Six Hundred Rounds

Love VIII: 29

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Left (Win)
つらからん中こそあらめ萩原やした松蟲の聲をだに問へ

tsurakaran
naka koso arame
hagiwara ya
shita matsumushi no
koe o dani toe		 Cold will
Our bond, no doubt, become, but
Among the bush clover
Eagerly awaiting, the bell-cricket’s
Call is all that I would ask…

A Servant Girl
1077

Right
夜もすがら人まつ蟲の鳴く聲を我身の上によそへてぞ聞く

yo mo sugara
hito matsu mushi no
naku koe o
wa ga mi no ue ni
yosoete zo kiku		 All through the night
A cricket pines –
The song it sings
Upon myself does
Seem to dwell – or so it sounds…

Lord Tsune’ie
1078

The Gentlemen of the Right state: we have no reason to mention any faults in the Left’s poem. The Gentlemen of the Left state: the Right’s poem is pedestrian.

In judgement: both poems refer to ‘bell crickets’, with the Left saying, ‘our bond, no doubt, become’ (naka koso arame), then ‘call is all that I would ask’ (koe o dani toe), and ‘eagerly awaiting, the bell cricket’ (shita matsumushi) – all of these are extremely difficult to grasp, however, the Right’s poem is pointlessly pedestrian. So, the Left wins.