kimi ga yo wa nagai no ura no hamakaze ni tatsu shiranami no kazu mo shirarezu
My Lord’s reign: At Nagai Bay The beach breezes Rouse the whitecaps In number entirely unknown.
Controller’s Graduate 65
Right
きみがよをまつちのやまのこまつばらちよのけしきを見るぞうれしき
kimi ga yo o matsuchi no yama no komatsubara chiyo no keshiki o miru zo ureshiki
My Lord’s reign Awaiting upon Matsuchi Mountain The pine seedling groves The sight for a thousand ages Joyfully will see!
Kerin’in Graduate 66
It’s impossible to decide on a winner or loser between the Left and the Right here in terms of conception, diction and overall style. To put it in general terms, I must make this round a further tie.
Neither Left nor Right is remarkable, but nor do they have any faults to mention. I’d make this round a tie.
aki no yo wa nagai no ura ni tomarishite nodoka ni terasu ariake no tsuki
Autumn nights Are long at Nagai Bay Lodging, and Gently shining The dawntime moon.
Lady Kazusa 41
Right (Win)
秋の夜のくもふきはらふあらしこそ月みるひとのこころなりけれ
aki no yo no kumo fuki’harau arashi koso tsuki miru hito no kokoro narikere
On an autumn night The clouds a’blowing away, The storm wind, truly, As someone gazing upon the moon Has the selfsame heart!
Lady Shikibu 42
The poem of the Left certainly imagines the scene just as it is. With that being said, however, the dawntime moon is not present long enough. The Right’s poem simply sounds like one composed by Atsutaka for the ‘Poetry Match held at the Residence of the Former Captain of the Outer Palace Guards, Left Division’.[i] Thus, it’s impossible for me to determine a winner or loser.
It’s a poem which we see in the Poetry Match at Lord Moroyori’s Residence.
冬のよの雲ふきはらふ木枯や月見る人の心なるらむ
fuyu no yo no kumo fuki’harau kogarashi ya tsuki miru hito no kokoro naruramu
On a winter’s night The clouds a’blowing away, The bitter wind, indeed, As someone gazing upon the moon The same heart seems to have![ii]
In the poem of the Left, is it the moon or the poet who is lodging at Nagai Bay? If it’s the moon, then ‘lodging’ is erroneous; if it’s the poet, then ‘gently shining’ doesn’t work. In addition to this vagueness, I do also question whether ‘dawntime’ sounds appropriate. As for the Right’s poem, ‘as someone gazing at the moon / Has the selfsame heart!’ is an elegant conception, and the diction is also smooth. It reminds me of an earlier work by someone else. Thus, it wins.
[i] This match has a several different titles, Mototoshi refers to here as both: Zen sa-hyōe no kami no ie no uta’awase 前左兵衛督家歌合 and also Moriyori-kyō no ie uta’awase 師頼卿家歌合, but it is also known as the ‘Poetry Match held by the Late Master of the of the Crown Prince’s Household’ (Ko-tōgū daibu ie uta’awase 故東宮大夫家歌合) and the ‘Poetry held by Moroyori, Captain of the Outer Palace Guards, Right Division’ (U-hyōe no kami moroyori uta’awase 右兵衛督師頼歌合): the text of this match is no longer extant, but it is known to have taken place in the winter Tennin 天仁 2 (1109). Fujiwara no Kiyosuke notes that it was judged by Toshiyori, but Mototoshi disagreed with his assessments and submitted at set of judgements of his own in appeal (Fujioka 1995, 212).
[ii] This poem is included in Shoku shikashū (VI: 293), attributed to Moroyori, with the headnote, ‘Composed on the moon in winter’.
aki no yo no ariake no tsuki wa kuma mo nashi asakurayama mo na nomi koso arame
At an autumn night’s Dawn, the moon Has not a cloud before it; The Mount of Morning Dark May be so in name alone!
Cell of Fragrant Cloud 39
Right (Win)
秋の月あかしのうらはなびきもにすむわれからのかずも見つべし
aki no tsuki akashi no ura wa nabikimo ni sumu warekara no kazu mo mitsubeshi
The autumn moon is Bright above Akashi Bay; Among the trailing seaweed Dwell tiny shrimp, Their number now clear to my eyes.
Cell of Compassionate Light 40
The poem of the Left is an entirely tedious composition. It simply states that a cloudless autumn moon does not fit with the place name, Mount Asakura. The moon at ‘dawn’ is the same as the moon at ‘dawntime’, while Mount Asakura is used when dawn has completely finished. As for the poem of the Right, while the moon is described as bright, it doesn’t seem right to then make it a poem about trailing seaweed—this does not seem charming at all. This round, too, there’s not much more I can say than that.
As I have already mentioned, ‘moon at dawn’ in the poem of the Left is an expression which it is impossible to say is praiseworthy. Even more so, really, the concluding ‘may be so in name alone’ just says ‘is so in name alone’, doesn’t it? It’s contrary to reason to say that it’s fluent and thus, and I say this reluctantly, it’s difficult to understand. As for the Right’s poem, I don’t understand this either: it ought to be ‘their numbers, too, I have been able to see’—saying ‘their number now clear to my eyes’ implies that you haven’t previously been able to see them up to that point, and it’s vague about when you have. Even so, it’s getting light, so the light of the moon at dawn seems superior.
koiseji to omoinaru se ni yoru nami no kaerite sore mo kurushikarikeri
I’ll love you no more, Did I come to think, the crash of Breaking waves Returning, but that, too Has brought me pain.
Lord Kanemasa 61
Right (Both Judges – Win)
玉藻かる忍ぶの浦の蜑だにもいとかく袖はぬるるものかは
tamamo karu shinobu no ura no ama dani mo ito kaku sode wa nururu mono ka wa
Reaping gemweed On Shinobu shore, Do even the fisherfolk Have sleeves so very Drenched, indeed?
Lord Masamitsu 62
Toshiyori states: both of these are charming, however, a line from a famous poem is used for as the initial section, and in such cases the new poem should not closely evoke the source. Someone once said something similar, a long time ago. It’s a bit inferior, isn’t it.
Mototoshi states: neither of these contain any errors, yet the section following the central ‘crash of / Breaking waves’ seems intermittently painful, with sleeves damper than those of the fisherfolk on Shinobu shore. It seems a bit better at present.
[1] Fujiwara no Kiyotada 藤原清正 (?-953): one of the Thirty-Six Poetic Immortals and a minor courtier. As well as being included in Shinkokinshū, this poem is also listed in Wakan rōeishū (II: 453), Kiyotada’s personal collection, Kiyotada-shū (89) and also the personal collection of Fujiwara no Tadami 藤原忠見, Tadami-shū (143). While Wakan rōeishū simply gives the topic of the poem as ‘Cranes’, the personal collections provide more information. Tadami states that the poem was ‘Sent to the Shōni Palace Lady to present in his place when he was of about the age to be admitted to the Courtier’s Hall and had become Governor of Kii’ making the waka a plea for further advancement at court. Kiyotada himself simply says ‘When I had become Governor of Kii and had not yet been permitted to enter the Courtier’s Hall.’ Tanaka and Akase (1992, 502) note that Kiyotada was appointed Governor of Kii while still a Chamberlain at Sixth Rank, when this was usually a post held by someone of Junior Fifth Rank, Lower Grade, the lowest rank at which a man would be permitted to enter the Courtier’s Hall (tenjō no ma 殿上間) and have direct contact with the emperor. The poem is, thus, simultaneously, an expression of gratitude for imperial favour (the ‘heavenly wind’) to him (‘the crane’) which has made him Governor of Ki – the province where Fukei is located, and a plea that he be allowed above ‘the clouds’ (into the Courtier’s Hall), which is subtly laced with resentment (‘Why haven’t I had the promotion in rank which this post would normally bring?’)!
mikumano no ura no hamayū iwazu tomo omou kokoro no kazu o shiranan
At fair Kumano, Lilies on the beach Say nothing, yet The yearnings in my heart for you In number I would have you know![1]
466
[1] An allusive variation on: [One of] Four poems by Hitomaro, Lord Kakinomoto. み熊野の浦の濱木綿百重なす心は思へど直に逢はぬかも mikumano no / ura no hamayū / momoe nasu / kokoro wa omoedo / tada ni awanu kamo ‘At fair Kumano / Lilies on the beach / A hundred deep / My heart’s yearning, but / Never will we meet.’ (MYS IV: 496)
