Tag Archives: wave

Love V: 29

Left (Tie).
象潟や妹戀ひしらにさ寢る夜の磯の寢覺に月傾きぬ

kisakata ya
koishirani
sanuru yo no
iso no nezame ni
tsuki katabukinu
In Kisakata and
In love;
I sleep the night away, and
Awaking on the rocky shore
Behold the moon descending.

Kenshō
897

Right.
清見潟岩敷く袖の浪の上に思ふもわびし君が面影

kiyomigata
iwa shiku sode no
nami no ue ni
omou mo wabishi
kimi ga omokage
At Kiyomigata
Sleeves spread atop the rocks,
Waves breaking atop them;
Heart filled with pain
At the memory of your face…

Jakuren
898

Left and Right both state that the opposing poem is pretentious.

In judgement: the Left’s poem seems well-constructed in its initial and final sections. However, as in Mototoshi’s poem long ago, ‘breaking a stem of miscanthus on the beach at Ise’, this seems to be a case of poetic allusion. The Right’s ‘Sleeves spread atop the rocks, waves breaking atop them’ (iwa shiku sode no nami no ue) seems to have been newly composed and seems elegant, but the final section is somewhat inferior. The Left has beginning and end matching. The Right has a superior initial section, but an inferior final one. Thus, the round ties.

 

Spring I: 16

Left (Tie).

春風に池の氷や解けぬらん待たれぬ浪の花を見る哉

haru kaze ni
ike no kôri ya
tokenuran
matarenu nami no
hana o miru kana
In the breath of spring
Will the ice upon the pond
Melt?
Unanticipated blossom touched
Waves come into view…

Lord Kanemune.

31

Right (Tie).

鶯のなみだのつらゝ聲ながらたよりにさそへ春の山水

uguisu no
namida no tsurara
koe nagara
tayori ni sasoe
haru no yama mizu
The bush warbler’s
Tears of ice,
And song,
Issue an invitation!
To the mountain waters this springtime…

Jakuren.

32

The Right team have no comments to make about the Left’s poem this round, but the Left wonder whether the essence of the poem, of the warbler’s ‘tears of ice’ and song inviting the waters, might not be a bit much?

Shunzei remarks that the form and phrasing of the Left’s poem is ‘certainly charming’, and echoes their criticism of the Right’s poem, as having an ‘impossible essence’. He then goes on to say, ‘The Left is placidly charming; the Right’s essence must be excessive. They are equivalent and I judge this round a tie.’