Left (Tie).
花は猶その姿とも見え分る枯野は蟲の聲ぞ戀しき
hana wa nao
sono sugata tomo
miewakaru
kareno wa mushi no
koe zo koshiki |
The blossoms are still
By their simple shapes
Revealed, but
On this withered field the insects’
Cries are what I miss… |
Lord Kanemune.
515
Right.
秋の色の移ろふ野邊を來て見れば哀は枯れぬ物にぞ有ける
aki no iro no
utsurou nobe o
kitemireba
aware wa karenu
mono ni zo arikeru |
Autumn’s hues
Have faded from this field
I see, but
My sorrow is something
Evergreen… |
Nobusada.
516
The Right state that they are unable to understand [kokoro yukazu] the usage of ‘revealed’ (miewakaru) in the Left’s poem. The Left find no faults in the Right’s poem.
Shunzei’s judgement: The Left’s use of ‘revealed’ sounds appropriate [yoroshiku kikoehaberu] in this poem, and ‘on this withered field the insects’ (kareno wa mushi) is most tasteful [yū ni koso haberumere]. The conception of the Right’s ‘Autumn’s hues have faded from this field’ (aki no iro no utsurou nobe) where ‘sorrow is evergreen’ (aware wa karenu) is most moving, indeed; the Left, too, has a find conclusion to their poem, and so with both being heartfelt [kokoro utsurite], the round should tie.
Left (Win).
夢かさは野邊の千草の面影はほのぼの招く薄ばかりや
yume ka sa wa
nobe no chigusa no
omokage wa
honobono maneku
susuki bakari ya |
Was it all a dream?
Across the fields a thousand blooms
Did meet my gaze; now
Dimly beckoning
Are there only fronds of miscanthus grass… |
Lord Sada’ie.
513
Right.
むら薄たえだえ野邊に招けども下延ふ葛ぞ恨果てぬる
murasusuki
taedae nobe ni
manekedomo
shita hau kuzu zo
uramihatenuru |
The clumps of miscanthus grass
From time to time across the fields
Do wave, yet
The creeping arrowroot beneath
Holds all my regrets… |
Jakuren.
514
The Right state that the initial line of the Left’s poem is ‘awkward’ [amari nari], and that they cannot approve of the final use of ya. The Left wonder about the appropriateness of ‘Holds all my regrets’ (uramihatenuru).
Shunzei’s judgement: The Gentlemen of the Right have a number of criticisms of the Left’s poem. However, with careful consideration, while the poem is not tasteful in its entirety [subete yū ni shimo arazaredo], the initial line does not seem that strange, and the final ya is fine, is it not? The Right’s ‘The clumps of miscanthus grass from time to time across the fields do wave’ is tasteful [yū naru], but all that connects with ‘arrowroot’, is the subsequent ‘seeing what lies beneath’. ‘Arrowroot’ is too briefly in the poem for this. The initial and final sections of the Left’s poem have been criticised by the Gentlemen of the Right, but they are not without purpose. Thus, the Left wins.
Left (Win).
霜枯るゝ野原に秋の忍はれて心のうちに鹿ぞ鳴ぬる
shimo karuru
nohara ni aki no
shinobarete
kokoro no uchi ni
shika zo nakinuru |
Burnt by frost
The fields autumn
Bring back to me, and
Within my heart
A stag cries out. |
Lord Suetsune.
511
Right.
鹿の音も蟲もさまざま聲絶えて霜枯はてぬ宮城野の原
shika no oto mo
mushi mo samasama
koe taete
shimogarehatenu
miyagino no hara |
The sound of stags and
All the insects varied
Cries are gone;
Completely burned by frost is
The plain of Miyagino. |
Ietaka.
512
The Right say that the Left’s poem is ‘fine, perhaps’ [yoroshiki ka]. The Left reply that the Right’s ‘lacks any faults.’
Shunzei’s judgement: Both poems are on the topic of ‘withered fields’ and the Right has a fine final section with ‘the plain of Miyagino’ (miyagino no hara), but the initial section with ‘stags’ and ‘insects’ sounds as if the poet is enumerating members of list [kazoetatetaru yō ni ya kikoyu]. The Left, with its ‘The fields autumn bring back to me’ (nohara ni aki no shinobarete), followed by ‘Within my heart a stag cries out’ (kokoro no uchi ni shika zo nakinuru), is most fine. The Left should win.
Left.
色いろの花ゆへ野邊に立出でし眺めまでこそ霜枯にけれ
iroiro no
hana yue nobe ni
tachi’ideshi
nagame made koso
shimogarenikere |
Many were the shades
Of blossom in the fields
I went to see;
Even that view, now, is completely
Burned by frost. |
Lord Ari’ie.
509
Right (Win).
冬更くる野邊を見るにも思出る心のうちは花ぞ色いろ
fuyu fukuru
nobe o miru ni mo
omoi’izuru
kokoro no uchi wa
hana zo iroiro |
In the depths of winter
Gazing o’er the fields
What I recall
Within my heart
Are the blossoms’ many hues. |
The Provisional Master of the Empress’ Household Office.
510
The Right wonder about the appropriateness of having a ‘view’ (nagame) of frost burn. The Left suggest that ‘depths of winter’ sounds a poor expression [kikiyokarazu] [because ‘depths of night’ was a more standard usage].
Shunzei’s judgement: Both poems refer to the many colours (iroiro) of the blooms of autumn, and this is certainly not lacking in taste [yūnarazaru ni wa arazu]. When gazing over the frost-burned winter fields, saying ‘even that view’ (nagame made) is not a fault as such [toga nakarubekeredomo], but I feel it would be better to avoid encompassing everything within a ‘view’. On ‘depths of winter’ (fuyu fukuru), we have the same old opinion that it ‘sounds poor’ but, I ask you, what sounds poor about it? What is to be criticised in ‘depths of winter’? As a piece of diction, ‘depths’ (fukuru) can be used about anything. Thus, the Right must win.
Left (Win).
殘ゐて霜をいたゞく翁草冬の野守と成やしぬらん
nokori’ite
shimo o itadaku
okinagusa
fuyu no nomori to
nari ya shinuran |
Left behind and
Draped with frost,
Old Man Chrysanth
A winter warden for the fields
Has he become? |
Kenshō.
507
Right.
さむしろに野邊やさながら成ぬらん霜にし枯れぬ草の葉ぞ無き
samushiro ni
nobe ya sanagara
narinuran
shimo ni shi karenu
kusa no ha zo naki |
Has a blanket of chill
Across the fields
Been laid?
By frost unburned
Is there not a single grassy leaf! |
Lord Tsune’ie.
508
The Right find no fault with the Left’s poem this round. The Left query whether ‘blanket of chill’ (samushiro) is not somewhat forced.
Shunzei’s judgement: While ‘Old Man Chrysanth’ (okinagusa) is a formulation I find myself particularly unable to accept, the conception produced by ‘winter warden for the fields’ (fuyu no nomori) is most tasteful [fuyu no nomori to omoiyoreru kokoro wa yūtarubeshi]. The final section, ‘By frost unburned’ (shimo ni shi karenu) is extremely fine in both diction and configuration [sugata kotoba ito yoroshiku miehaberu], but this makes it all the more regrettable that a thin blanket is turned into a chill one. In this poem, one really needs a coverlet! The ‘winter warden for the fields’ should win.
Left (Win).
見し秋を何に殘さん草の原ひとつに變る野邊のけしきに
mishi aki o
nani ni nokosan
kusa no hara
hitotsu ni kawaru
nobe no keshiki ni |
Of the sights of autumn
What should I recall?
The fields of grasses
Have become but one
Single plain within my view… |
A Servant Girl.
505
Right.
霜枯の野邊のあはれを見ぬ人や秋の色には心とめけむ
shimogare no
nobe no aware o
minu hito ya
aki no iro ni wa
kokoro tomekemu |
A frost-burned
Plain – so sad:
Can one who’s viewed it not
Hold the hues of autumn
Within his heart? |
Lord Takanobu.
506
The Right state that the phrase ‘fields of grasses’ (kusa no hara) ‘sounds poor’ [kikiyokarazu]. The Left state that the Right’s poem is ‘antiquated’ [furumekashi].
Shunzei’s judgement: The Left’s ‘What should I recall? The fields of grasses’ (nani ni nokosan kusa no hara) is charming [en ni koso haberumere]. The gentlemen of the Right’s reasoning for finding fault with ‘fields of grasses’ is highly flawed [mottomo utata aru ni ya]. Murasaki Shikibu was better at writing prose than composing poems. Thus, The Festival of the Cherry Blossoms is particularly charming [koto ni en’naru mono nari]. It is highly regrettable for one to compose poetry without having read The Tale of Genji. The Right’s poem does not appear poor in diction and conception [kokoro kotoba ashiku wa miezaru]. However, it is extremely mundane in style [tsune no tei narubeshi]. The Left’s poem is better, and I make it the winner.
'Simply moving and elegant'