Round Six
Left
草枯のふしどさびしく成りゆけばしかこそ妻もこひしかるらめ
| kusakare no fushido sabishiku nariyukeba shika koso tsuma mo koishikarurame | Among the withered grasses He lies down, yet into lonely sadness Does he sink, so The stag his mate Seems to long for all the more… |
Suketaka
35
Right (Win)
さをしかの声しきるなりみよしののいさかた山に妻やこもれる
| saoshika no koe shikiru nari miyoshino no isakatayama ni tsuma ya komoreru | The stag’s Bell rends my heart— In fair Yoshino On Mount Isakata Is his mate secluded. |
Tōren
36
I don’t believe I have heard a prior instance of the Right’s ‘Isakata Mountain’, have I? In addition, there doesn’t seem to be any reason for its use here. In general, it’s preferable to compose using terms which are familiar. As for the Left’s poem, it sounds as if the stag only cares for his mate when the grasses are withered, but implying that grass only withers in the Ninth and Tenth Months is at variance with the actual period when it happens, isn’t it? Moreover, it is dubious to compose pivoting around the topic—and doing this has been stated to be undesirable in poetry matches. Indeed, I recall that in the Poetry Match at the Palace in the Fields, when someone composed pivoting on ‘maidenflower’, the judge criticized it, saying, ‘it is mangling the words of our land to compose in this manner.’ Thus, although the poem does have a freshness about it, the Right must win, I think.
Round Twenty-Two
Snow
Left (Win)
霜がれのまがきの中に雪ふれば菊より後の花もありけり
| shimogare no magaki no naka ni yuki fureba kiku yori nochi no hana mo arikeri | When, burned by frost, Within my lattice fence There is a fall of snow, After the chrysanthemums, There are flowers, even so. |
Suketaka
43
Right
花さけば雪かとみせて雪ふれば花かとみするみよしのの山
| hana sakeba yuki ka to misete yuki fureba hana ka to misuru miyoshino no yama | When the blossom blooms I wonder if ‘tis snow, and When the snow does fall I wonder if ‘tis blossom In the mountains of fair Yoshino. |
Kūnin
44
Both are elegant, but even so the Right should lose.
Round Sixteen
Left
桜さく吉野の山の山風にふもとをこめて花にほふらし
| sakura saku yoshino no yama no yamakaze ni fumoto o komete hana niourashi | Cherries bloom In the mountains of Yoshino, where The mountain breezes Make even the foothills Aglow with blossom. |
Tomoshige
31
Right (Win)
花の色はあまりにけりなつくばねのこのもかのもにかかる白雲
| hana no iro wa amarinikeri na tsukubane no kono mo kano mo ni kakaru shirakumo | The blossoms’ hues Have overflowed[1] The peak of Tsukuba— Near and far, both, Draped with clouds of white.[2] |
Dharma Master Zenshin
32
The Left’s poem has no faults worth mentioning and, furthermore, is not particularly remarkable. The Right’s poem refers to the peak of Tsukuba; while this is generally thought of as a mountain, it is not necessarily limited to mountains and there are, I think, a bunch of instances where it means a place with lots of trees; however, because here it also conveys the conception of mountains, from the use of pleasant poetic technique, the Right should win.
[1] Zenshin is clearly referencing Ono no Komachi’s famous: Topic unknown. 花の色はうつりにけりないたづらにわが身世にふるながめせしまに hana no iro wa / utsurinikeri na / itazura ni / wa ga mi yo ni furu / nagame seshi ma ni ‘The blossoms’ hues / Have already faded away, / While in idle thoughts / My life goes by, / As I watch the long rains fall.’ (KKS II: 113).
[2] An allusive variation on: Eastern poem: a poem from Hitachi. 筑波嶺のこのもかのもに影はあれど君がみかげにます陰はなし tsukuba ne no / kono mo kano mo ni / kage aredo / kimi ga mikage ni / masu kage wa nashi ‘On the peak of Tsukuba / Here and there / Lie shadows, yet / To your shadow, my love (my Lord) / They cannot compare!’ Anonymous (KKS XX: 1095).
Topic unknown.
もろこしのよしのの山にこもるともおくれむと思ふ我ならなくに
| morokosi no yosino no yama ni komoru tomo okuremu to omoFu ware naranaku ni | Even in Cathay’s Yoshino Mountains Should you be trapped, Thinking to abandon you— No, that is not I… |
The Minister of the Left
