Tag Archives: yūbe

Love IV: 23

Left (Win).
君もまた夕や分きて眺むらん忘れず拂ふ荻の風哉

kimi mo mata
yūbe ya wakite
nagamuran
wasurezu harau
ogi no kaze kana
Are you, once more, my darling,
Spending this evening
On thoughts of love?
Faithfully sweeps
The wind across the silver-grass…

A Servant Girl.
825

Right.
時しもあれ悲しかりける思ひかな秋の夕に人は忘れじ

toki shi mo are
kanashikarikeru
omoi kana
aki no yūbe ni
hito wa wasureji
Of all the times there are, now
Does sadness
Most fill my thoughts;
On an autumn evening
Unable to forget her…

Ietaka.
826

The Right state: we wonder about the appropriateness of ‘faithfully sweeps’ (wasurezu harau). The Left state: while the Right’s poem is in keeping with the conception of the topic, it seem as if the reference to ‘evening’ serves little purpose.

In judgement: the Left’s ‘Spending this evening on thoughts of love’ (yūbe ya wakite nagamuran) is appropriate, but I find ‘The wind across the silver-grass’ (ogi no kaze) somewhat problematic. The initial section of the Right’s poem, too, is not bad, but saying ‘On an autumn evening unable to forget her’ (aki no yūbe ni hito wa wasureji) suggests that forgetting is the norm, and I wonder about that. The Left wins on account of its initial section.

Love IV: 11

Left.
雲かゝり重なる山を越えもせず隔てまさるは明くる日の影

kumo kakari
kasanaru yama o
koe mo sezu
hedate masaru wa
akuru hi no kage
Trailed with cloud,
The layered mountains
I have not gone beyond, but
What stands between us most is
The light of the brightening sun.

Lord Sada’ie.
801

Right (Win).
いさ命思ひは夜半に盡き果てぬ夕も待たじ秋の曙

isa inochi
omoi wa yowa ni
tsukihatenu
yūbe mo mataji
aki no akebono
I know not what’s to become of my life!
All my thoughts of love in the hours of night
Are quite exhausted, and
I cannot wait for evening
On this autumn dawn…

Nobusada.
802

The Right state: from ‘Trailed with cloud’ (kumo kakari) to ‘The light of the brightening sun’ (akuru hi no kage), all is entirely unacceptable, is it not? The Left state: we wonder about the acceptability of ‘I know not what’s to become of my life’ (isa inochi).

In judgement: the Right have said that the Left’s poem is unacceptable from beginning to end, but can one really go so far as to say that? Furthermore, the Left query whether ‘I know not what’s to become of my life’, but I wonder whether I can recall this phrase being that bad. However, one is accustomed to saying that ‘this spring dawn’ (haru no akebono) is elegant, and although ‘this autumn dawn’ (aki no akebono) is a modern expression, the faults of the Left’s poem are particularly problematic, so the Right should win.

Autumn III: 23

Left.

初霜や秋をこめても置きつらん今朝色變る野路の篠原

hatsujimo ya
aki o kometemo
okitsuran
kesa iro kawaru
noji no shinohara
Have the first frosts
In the midst of autumn
Fallen?
This morning has brought a change of hue
To the arrow-bamboo groves in Noji!

Lord Kanemune.

465

Right (Win).

いかに又秋は夕と眺め來て花に霜置く野邊の明ぼの

ika ni mata
aki wa yūbe to
nagamekite
hana ni shimo oku
nobe no akebono
How much more striking
Than an autumn evening
Spent gazing, is
The frost fallen on the flowers
In the fields at dawn!

Ietaka.

466

Neither team finds any fault with the other’s poem this round and say as much.

Shunzei’s judgement: The Left’s ‘frost’ (shimo) on the ‘arrow-bamboo groves in Noji’ (noji no shinohara) is certainly elegant [yū ni wa haberubeshi]. The Right’s ‘frost fallen on the flowers’ (hana ni oku shimo) is, too; although there is no difference in formal quality [uta no sama wa ikuhodo sabetsu naku] between them, ‘frost fallen on the flowers’ at ‘dawn’ (akebono) is more arresting [midokoro ya haberu] than ‘arrow-bamboo groves’.