On the day of an imperial visit to the Naniwa Palace, in Kyōun 3 [706].
あし辺ゆくかものはがひにしもふりてさむきゆふべのことをしぞおもふ
| ashibe yuku kamo no hagai ni shimo furite samuki yūbe no koto o shi zo omou | Huddled in the reeds Upon the ducks’ folded wings Frost falls and In the evening’s cold My mind is full of thoughts. |
The Tawara Emperor
Left (Win).
君もまた夕や分きて眺むらん忘れず拂ふ荻の風哉
| kimi mo mata yūbe ya wakite nagamuran wasurezu harau ogi no kaze kana |
Are you, once more, my darling, Spending this evening On thoughts of love? Faithfully sweeps The wind across the silver-grass… |
A Servant Girl.
825
Right.
時しもあれ悲しかりける思ひかな秋の夕に人は忘れじ
| toki shi mo are kanashikarikeru omoi kana aki no yūbe ni hito wa wasureji |
Of all the times there are, now Does sadness Most fill my thoughts; On an autumn evening Unable to forget her… |
Ietaka.
826
The Right state: we wonder about the appropriateness of ‘faithfully sweeps’ (wasurezu harau). The Left state: while the Right’s poem is in keeping with the conception of the topic, it seem as if the reference to ‘evening’ serves little purpose.
In judgement: the Left’s ‘Spending this evening on thoughts of love’ (yūbe ya wakite nagamuran) is appropriate, but I find ‘The wind across the silver-grass’ (ogi no kaze) somewhat problematic. The initial section of the Right’s poem, too, is not bad, but saying ‘On an autumn evening unable to forget her’ (aki no yūbe ni hito wa wasureji) suggests that forgetting is the norm, and I wonder about that. The Left wins on account of its initial section.
Left.
雲かゝり重なる山を越えもせず隔てまさるは明くる日の影
| kumo kakari kasanaru yama o koe mo sezu hedate masaru wa akuru hi no kage |
Trailed with cloud, The layered mountains I have not gone beyond, but What stands between us most is The light of the brightening sun. |
Lord Sada’ie.
801
Right (Win).
いさ命思ひは夜半に盡き果てぬ夕も待たじ秋の曙
| isa inochi omoi wa yowa ni tsukihatenu yūbe mo mataji aki no akebono |
I know not what’s to become of my life! All my thoughts of love in the hours of night Are quite exhausted, and I cannot wait for evening On this autumn dawn… |
Nobusada.
802
The Right state: from ‘Trailed with cloud’ (kumo kakari) to ‘The light of the brightening sun’ (akuru hi no kage), all is entirely unacceptable, is it not? The Left state: we wonder about the acceptability of ‘I know not what’s to become of my life’ (isa inochi).
In judgement: the Right have said that the Left’s poem is unacceptable from beginning to end, but can one really go so far as to say that? Furthermore, the Left query whether ‘I know not what’s to become of my life’, but I wonder whether I can recall this phrase being that bad. However, one is accustomed to saying that ‘this spring dawn’ (haru no akebono) is elegant, and although ‘this autumn dawn’ (aki no akebono) is a modern expression, the faults of the Left’s poem are particularly problematic, so the Right should win.
Left.
初霜や秋をこめても置きつらん今朝色變る野路の篠原
| hatsujimo ya aki o kometemo okitsuran kesa iro kawaru noji no shinohara |
Have the first frosts In the midst of autumn Fallen? This morning has brought a change of hue To the arrow-bamboo groves in Noji! |
465
Right (Win).
いかに又秋は夕と眺め來て花に霜置く野邊の明ぼの
| ika ni mata aki wa yūbe to nagamekite hana ni shimo oku nobe no akebono |
How much more striking Than an autumn evening Spent gazing, is The frost fallen on the flowers In the fields at dawn! |
466
Neither team finds any fault with the other’s poem this round and say as much.
Shunzei’s judgement: The Left’s ‘frost’ (shimo) on the ‘arrow-bamboo groves in Noji’ (noji no shinohara) is certainly elegant [yū ni wa haberubeshi]. The Right’s ‘frost fallen on the flowers’ (hana ni oku shimo) is, too; although there is no difference in formal quality [uta no sama wa ikuhodo sabetsu naku] between them, ‘frost fallen on the flowers’ at ‘dawn’ (akebono) is more arresting [midokoro ya haberu] than ‘arrow-bamboo groves’.