世の中を後になせる山里にまづさし向かふ夕顔の花
yo no naka o ushiro ni naseru yamazato ni mazu sashimukau yūgao no hana |
The everyday world I put behind me At a mountain dwelling where First crawl in Moonflowers… |
Minamoto no Yorimasa
源頼政
Left (Tie).
をのづからなさけぞみゆる荒手組む賤がそともの夕顔の花
onozukara nasake zo miyuru arate kumu shizu ga soto mo no yūgao no hana |
How natural To be moved: Twined roughly round the fence Outside a peasant’s hut, Moonflower blooms… |
273
Right (Tie).
山賤の契のほどや忍ぶらん夜をのみ待つ夕顔の花
yamagatsu no chigiri no hodo ya shinoburan yoru o nomi matsu yūgao no hana |
Is it with the mountain man Her time is pledged So secretly? For the night alone, awaiting, The moonflower bloom. |
274
The Right state, ‘it is normal diction to say ‘roughly’ (arate) ‘hang’ (kaku). Is it possible to also use ‘twine’ (kumu)?’ In response from the Left, ‘Yes, one can.’ The Left have no criticisms to make of the Right’s poem.
Shunzei states, ‘Both poems are equally lacking in faults or merits. Whether one uses “roughly” twining or hanging, neither is particularly superlative, I think. “Her time is pledged” (chigiri no hodo ya) seems somehow lacking , too. This round must tie.’
Left (Win).
暮そめて草の葉なびく風のまに垣根涼しき夕顔の花
kuresomete kusa no ha nabiku kaze no ma ni kakine suzushiki yūgao no hana |
At the first fall of dusk Blades of grass rustle In the breeze; On the brushwood fence coolly Blooms a moonflower. |
271
Right.
日數ふる雪にしほれし心地して夕顔咲ける賤が竹垣
hikazu furu yuki ni shioreshi kokochishite yūgao sakeru shizu ga takegaki |
Day after passing day Of snowfall has draped it, I feel, Moonflowers blooming on A peasant’s bamboo fence. |
272
The Right state, ‘Both “first fall of dusk” (kuresomete) and “in the breeze” (kaze no ma ni) are unusual expressions.’ The Left in return say, ‘It sounds as if the bamboo fence is weighed down with moonflowers!’ (The Left here are interpreting the verb shioru to mean ‘bend down’ which is one of its senses. I have not followed this in my translation, in line with Shunzei’s judgement, below.)
Shunzei comments, ‘The gentlemen of the Right have stated that “first fall of dusk” (kuresomete) and “in the breeze” (kaze no ma ni) are unusual expressions, but I do not feel this to be particularly the case. As for yuki ni shiroreshi, surely this simply means that the fence is draped. In any case, however, “on the brushwood fence, coolly” is the superior poem in every way.’
Left (Tie).
蚊遣火の煙いぶせき賤の庵にすゝけぬ物は夕顔の花
kayaribi no kemuri ibuseki shizu no io ni susukenu mono wa yūgao no hana |
Mosquito smudge fires’ Fumes fill the dreary Peasant’s hut; but Untouched by soot are The moonflower blooms. |
269
Right (Tie).
煙立つ賤が庵か薄霧のまがきに咲ける夕顔の花
kemuri tatsu shizu no iori ka usugiri no magaki ni sakeru yūgao no hana |
Is this smoke rising from The peasants’ huts? Faintly misted Blooming on the rough-hewn fence Are moonflowers… |
270
The Right have no criticisms to make this round. The Left simply say the phrase ‘huts? Faintly misted’ (iori ka usugiri) ‘stands out’.
Again, Shunzei is blunt: ‘The Left’s “untouched by soot” (susukenu) and the Right’s “faintly misted” (usugiri) are both equally poor. The round should tie.’
Left.
これやこの人めも知らぬ山賤にさしのみ向かふ夕顔の花
kore ya kono hitome mo shiranu yamagatsu ni sashi nomi mukau yūgao no hana |
Here Hidden from all eyes, To the mountain man Alone, she turns This moonflower bloom |
267
Right (Win).
賤の男が片岡しめて住む宿をもてなす物は夕顔の花
shizu no o ga kataoka shimete sumu yado o motenasu mono wa yūgao no hana |
The peasant Hemmed in by hills around His house, Garlands it with Moonflower blooms. |
268
The Right grumble that ‘alone, she turns’ (sashi nomi mukau) is ‘grating on the ear’, while the Left wonder if ‘gardlands’ (motenasu) is appropriate (it’s not standard in the lexicon of poetry).
Shunzei simply says, ‘Both poems are equally lacking in faults or merits, but yet I feel the Right should win.’