Left.
誰も見よこれはみぞれの空ならん散來る花は雨や交りし
| tare mo miyo kore wa mizore no sora naran chirikuru hana wa ame ya majirishi |
Behold, one and all! This is a sleet-filled Sky, indeed! Flowers falling, Mixed with rain? |
519
Right (Win).
風渡る花のあたりの春雨は冬の空にもありける物を
| kaze wataru hana no atari no harusame wa fuyu no sora ni mo arikeru mono o |
The breeze blows Around the blossom In spring showers; The winter skies, too, Have such things… |
520
The Right wonder about the appropriateness of ‘mixed’ (majirishi). The Left complain that the Right’s poem ‘does not contain an expression from the topic [dai no ji]’ and wonder about the appropriateness of this in a poetry competition.
Shunzei’s judgement: ‘This is a sleet-filled sky, indeed!’ (kore wa mizore no sora naran) is charming, but the latter section of the poem, saying that blossoms fall during a shower is quite pedestrian [tsune no koto ni aran]. I also wonder about the appropriateness of ‘mixed with rain?’ (ame ya majirishi) as a choice of poetic diction [uta kotoba]. Having ‘Around the blossom in spring showers’ (hana no atari no harusame wa), and then ‘The winter skies, too, have such things…’ (fuyu no sora ni mo arikeru mono o) is extremely charming. Even without the explicit reference to the topic, one can certainly glimpse the sleet. The Right should win.