Winter II: 9

Left.

あらはれてまた埋もるゝ雪のうちにさも年深き松の色かな

arawarete
mata utsumoruru
yuki no uchi ni
sa mo toshi fukaki
matsu no iro kana
Appearing and
Then buried once more
By the snows:
How ancient are
The pine trees’ constant hues…

Lord Sada’ie.

557

Right (Win).

いかなれば冬にしられぬ色ながら松しも風のさびしかるらん

ikanareba
fuyu ni shirarenu
iro nagara
matsu shi mo kaze no
sabishikaruran
Why is it that,
All unknowing that ‘tis winter
In their hue,
The pines’ rustling in the wind
Is so sad?

Lord Takanobu.

558

Both Left and Right say the other team’s poem is ‘not bad’ [ashikaranu].

Shunzei’s judgement: While the initial section of the Left’s poem is splendid [], I feel that the later ‘How ancient are’ (sa mo toshi fukaki) goes too far [sa made mo haberazaran]. The Right’s ‘Why is it that’ (ikanareba) is an expression I am unable to accept [shokisubekarazu], the later ‘pines’ rustling in the wind’ (matsu shi mo kaze no) sounds most fine, does it not? Thus, the Right should win.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *