Love V: 7

Left.
筒井つゝ井筒にかけし丈よりも過ぬや通ふ心深さは

tsutsui tsutsu
itsutsu ni kakeshi
take yori mo
suginu ya kayou
kokoro fukasa wa
The pipe well
Covered over:
More than its height
Have passed
The depths of our hearts.

Kenshō.
853

Right (Win).
筒井つにかけしためしをいかに我結び知らせん春の若水

tsutsui tsu ni
kakeshi tameshi o
ika ni ware
musubi shirasen
haru no wakamizu
The pipe well
Was covered once,
So how can I
Tell you that cupping my hands
For Spring’s water, makes me young once more.

Lord Takanobu.
854

The Right state: the upper section of the Left’s poem is little different from its origin poem, while its lower part is grating on the ear. The Left state: the Right’s poem has no particular faults to mention.

In judgement: in addition to the use of ‘the pipe well’ (tsutsui tsu) by both Left and Right not being that unusual, the Left’s ‘pipe well’ having surpassed its height does not sound that profound in conception. ’Spring’s water, makes me young’ (haru no wakamizu) isn’t bad, so the Right wins.

Love V: 6

Left (Win).
あか月にあらぬ別も今はとて我が世ふくれば添ふ思ひかな

akatsuki ni
aranu wakare mo
ima wa tote
wa ga yo fukureba
sou omoi kana
At dawn
This parting is not;
Now it is
When my life reaches twilight –
I think…

Lord Sada’ie.
851

Right.
翁さび身は惜しからぬ戀衣今はと濡れん人なとがめそ

okina sabi
mi wa oshikaranu
koigoromo
ima wa to nuren
hito na togame so
Feeling like an ancient,
But I regret it not!
My loving clothes:
Now’s the time to dampen them
But blame me not!

Jakuren.
852

The Right state: the Left’s poem has no faults to mention. The Left state: we wonder about the appropriateness of ‘now’s the time to dampen them’ (ima wa to nuren).

In judgement: ‘Feeling like an ancient’ (okina sabi) ‘now’s the time to dampen them’ (ima wa to nuren) does not sound like it fits formally with ‘but I regret it not!’ (mi wa oshikaranu). The Left, in addition to sounding like it has no faults, has ‘this parting is not; now it is’ (aranu wakare mo ima wa tote), which certainly sounds right. It is superior.

MYS XVI: 3799

あにもあらぬおのが身のから人の子の言も尽さじ我れも寄りなむ

ani mo aranu
ono ga mi no kara
hito no ko no
koto mo tsukusaji
ware mo yorinamu
There is nothing to
An inconsequential girl like me;
As all the others,
I’ll not use all my words, but
I, too, will yield to him!

MYS XVI: 3796

否も諾も欲しきまにまに許すべき顔見ゆるかも我れも寄りなむ

ina mo o mo
posiki mani mani
yurusubeki
kapo miyuru kamo
ware mo yorinamu
Uncontrolled
Is my desire, I feel
I should surrender
To his charming face, so
I, too, will yield to him!