Love X: 6

Left (Win)
誰となく寄せては返る浪枕浮きたる舟の跡もとどめず

tare to naku
yosete wa kaeru
namimakura
ukitaru fune no
ato mo todomezu
To no one
Cleaving, they return;
Pillowed on the waves
The drifting boats’
Wakes fail to linger long…

A Servant Girl
1151

Right
何方を見ても忍ばむ難波女の浮き寝の跡に消ゆる白浪

izukata o
mitemo shinobamu
naniwame no
ukine no ato ni
kiyuru shiranami
Whither
Should I look in longing?
With a girl from Naniwa
I slept briefly, but her
Wake vanishes among the whitecaps…

Jakuren
1152

Both Left and Right together state: neither poem is bad.

In judgement: both poems seem elegant in configuration and diction, but the Right’s ‘girl from Naniwa’ (naniwame) raises the same issue as ‘diving girl’, only more so – there is not even evidence on this from inclusion in the Collection of Poems to Sing, is there? The Left’s ‘cleaving, they return; pillowed on the waves’ (yosete wa kaeru namimakura) really does seem like a pleasure girl, so I must say it is superior.

Love X: 5

Left (Win)
心通ふゆききの舟のながめにもさしてかばかり物は思はじ

kokoro kayou
yukiki no fune no
nagame ni mo
sashite ka bakari
mono wa omowaji
Her heart goes out
On the back-and-forth of boats
That fill her gaze, but
Surely her
Thoughts will not be as mine…

Lord Sada’ie
1149

Right
舟のうち浪の上なる浮き寝には立ち帰るとて袖ぞ濡れける

fune no uchi
nami no ue naru
ukine ni wa
tachikaeru tote
sode zo nurekeru
Within a boat,
Atop the waves
I sleep but briefly and
When I am to leave,
How soaked are my sleeves…

Lord Tsune’ie
1150

As the previous round.

In judgement: the use of ‘surely’ (sashite) in the final section of the Left’s poem sounds like it has been deliberately used to evoke a connection with the earlier ‘boat’ (fune). The initial section of the Right’s poem draws, yet again, on Mochitoki’s over-long line. The latter section also sounds like a deliberate use of evocative language, and the final line lacks impact. It is inferior to the Left’s poem.

MYS XIV: 3396

小筑波の茂き木の間よ立つ鳥の目ゆか汝を見むさ寝ざらなくに

otukuba no
sigeki ko no ma yo
tatu tori no
me yuka na o mimu
sanezaranakuni
At Tsukuba
Between the lushly growing trees,
As a darting bird
Did I catch a glimpse of you?
Though ‘tis not that you were not asleep…

Anonymous

Mandaishū XIV: 2648

Composed on Love after Parting during the reign of Former Emperor Nijō (1143-1165; r. 1158-1165).

水無瀬川流れてとこそ思ひしかこはいかにしてたえはじめけむ

minasegawa
nagarete to koso
omoishi ka
ko wa ika ni shite
taehajimekemu
The River Minase
Rapidly runs – did
I think that once?
Now what am I to do
That our parting has begun?

Minister of Justice [Fujiwara no] Norikane
刑部卿範兼