uguisu no naku ki no moto ni furu yuki wa hakaze ni hana no chiru ka to zo miru
The warbler Sings from in a tree, its roots Covered by falling snow; Breeze stirred by its wingbeats, blossom Does seem to scatter.
Lord Kiyosuke 1
Right
うぐひすのなきて木づたふ梅がえにこぼるる露や涙なるらん
uguisu no nakite kozutau ume ga e ni koboruru tsuyu ya namida naruran
The warbler Crying flits from Branch to plum branch; Has the dripping dew His tears, perhaps, become?
Shun’e 2
Both Left and Right proceed smoothly, but what are we to make of the line ‘Crying flits’ in the Right’s poem? As this is also an expression which implies that dew is falling, these should tie.
sanomi ya wa kokoro arubeki hototogisu nezame no sora ni hitogoe mogana
Not much of The heart can you know, O, cuckoo, but On waking from the sky I would hear a single call.
A Court Lady 33
Right
やはた山むかひの里の郭公しのびしかたの声もかはらず
yawatayama mukai no sato no hototogisu shinobishi kata no koe mo kawarazu
By Yawata Mountain, At the estate of Mukai, A cuckoo, Fondly remembers someone With a changeless song!
Lord Ietaka 34
The Left’s poem would seem to fail to reflect the essential meaning of the topic of cuckoos by having it not yet being heard, and thus its overall technique seems dreadful. The Right’s poem also lacks any superlative elements, they must tie.
sakura saku yoshino no yama no yamakaze ni fumoto o komete hana niourashi
Cherries bloom In the mountains of Yoshino, where The mountain breezes Make even the foothills Aglow with blossom.
Tomoshige 31
Right (Win)
花の色はあまりにけりなつくばねのこのもかのもにかかる白雲
hana no iro wa amarinikeri na tsukubane no kono mo kano mo ni kakaru shirakumo
The blossoms’ hues Have overflowed[1] The peak of Tsukuba— Near and far, both, Draped with clouds of white.[2]
Dharma Master Zenshin 32
The Left’s poem has no faults worth mentioning and, furthermore, is not particularly remarkable. The Right’s poem refers to the peak of Tsukuba; while this is generally thought of as a mountain, it is not necessarily limited to mountains and there are, I think, a bunch of instances where it means a place with lots of trees; however, because here it also conveys the conception of mountains, from the use of pleasant poetic technique, the Right should win.
[1] Zenshin is clearly referencing Ono no Komachi’s famous: Topic unknown. 花の色はうつりにけりないたづらにわが身世にふるながめせしまに hana no iro wa / utsurinikeri na / itazura ni / wa ga mi yo ni furu / nagame seshi ma ni ‘The blossoms’ hues / Have already faded away, / While in idle thoughts / My life goes by, / As I watch the long rains fall.’ (KKS II: 113).
[2] An allusive variation on: Eastern poem: a poem from Hitachi. 筑波嶺のこのもかのもに影はあれど君がみかげにます陰はなし tsukuba ne no / kono mo kano mo ni / kage aredo / kimi ga mikage ni / masu kage wa nashi ‘On the peak of Tsukuba / Here and there / Lie shadows, yet / To your shadow, my love (my Lord) / They cannot compare!’ Anonymous (KKS XX: 1095).
yama takami midarete niou hanazakura hito mo susamenu haru ya henuran
In these mountain heights The riotous glow of Blooming cherries: Is there no one to sing their praises As spring passes by?[1]
Chikanari 29
Right
行末の山のかひより昨日みし雲もさながら桜なりけり
yukusue no yama no kai yori kinō mishi kumo mo sanagara sakura narikeri
On my way Through mountain passes Yesterday I saw Clouds of white—all were Cherries![2]
Ie’kiyo 30
The Right’s poem, having ‘mountain passes yesterday I saw’ sounds like it conveys the conception of Tsurayuki’s poem well, but isn’t it a bit pointless to end up with something that sounds like a Travel poem? The Left’s poem has the fine conception of the old poem which goes ‘In these mountain heights / There is no one to sing the praises of / You cherry blossoms’, so thus it must win.
[1] An allusive variation on: Topic unknown. 山たかみ人もすさめぬさくら花いたくなわびそ我みはやさむ yama takami / hito mo susamenu / sakurabana / itaku na wabi so / ware mihayasamu ‘In these mountain heights / There is no one to sing the praises of / You cherry blossoms. / Do not be aggrieved / For I will do it.’ Anonymous (KKS I: 50).
[2] An allusive variation on: When he was instructed by His Majesty to compose a poem, he composed this and presented it. 桜花さきにけらしもあしひきの山の峡よりみゆる白雲 sakurabana / sakinikerashi mo / ashihiki no / yama no kai yori / miyuru shirakumo ‘The cherry blossom / Seems to have bloomed, and from / The leg-wearying / Mountain passes / Appears white billowing clouds.’ Tsurayuki (KKS I: 59)
chiri chirazu hana yori hoka no iro zo naki kasanaru yama no mine no harukaze
Scattered, or not, Other than the blossoms’ Hues are there none Layered upon the mountain Peaks by the breeze in springtime.[1]
Shō 27
Right
かづらきやたかまの山はうづもれて空に棚引く春のしら雲
kazuragi ya takama no yama wa uzumorete sora ni tanabiku haru no shirakumo
In Kazuragi Takama Mountain Is buried by Trailing across the skies Clouds of white in springtime.
Nagatsuna 28
The Left’s poem appears fine. The Right’s poem, having ‘Takama Mountain is buried’ is both pretentious and does not link to anything. The Left must win.
[1] An allusive variation on: On a folding screen for the Kamo Virgin, for the place showing people going along a mountain path. ちりちらずきかまほしきをふるさとの花見て帰る人もあはなん chiri chirazu / kikamahoshiki o / furusato no / hana mitekaeru / hito mo awanan ‘Are they scattered, or not, is / What I would ask, but / The ancient estate’s / Blossom having seen and returned— / Those folk I would have you meet.’ Ise (SIS I: 49)
sakurabana sora ni amagiru shirakumo no tanabikiwataru kazuragi no yama
The cherry blossoms, As sky-sweeping Clouds of white Drape all across Kazuragi Mountain.
Takasuke 25
Right
さくらさくながらの山のながき日も昔をこひぬ時のまぞなき
sakura saku nagara no yama no nagaki hi mo mukashi o koinu toki no ma zo naki
The cherries bloom Changeless on Nagara Mountain; The lengthy days to Those beloved bygone Moments do not compare.
Shimotsuke 26
Neither Left nor Right has any faults worth mentioning. The Right’s poem appears tranquil, with an artless quality. It has a moving sensibility of longing for the past, but the Left’s poem should just about win, I think.