Left.
今日といへばやがて籬の白菊ぞ尋し人の袖と見えける
kyō to ieba yagate magaki no shiragiku zo tazuneshi hito no sode to miekeru |
On this day At last, along my lattice fence White chrysanthemums: Seeming like the sleeves of One who came to call… |
449
Right.
さか月に浮べる今日の影よりやうつろひ初むる白菊の花
sakazuki ni ukaberu kyō no kage yori ya uturoisomuru shiragiku no hana |
In my wine cup Floating on this day: Does the moonlight Bring on changing hues For white chrysanthemum blooms? |
450
The Right say that having the phrase ‘at last, along my lattice fence’ (yagate magaki no) continuing one from the other is ‘unsatisfactory’ [kokoroyukazu]. The Left say that the Right’s phrasing sounds as if the change in colour is brought about by the blossom floating in the wine cup, rather than the moonlight, and query if this is appropriate.
Shunzei’s judgement: Is the Left’s ‘at last, along my lattice fence’ that poor [ashiku ya wa]? Furthermore, the Right’s poem simply means ‘when floating in the wine cup’ the colours ‘change’. Neither poem has any conspicuous faults [tomo ni toganaku kikoyu]. The round should tie.