Left (Win).
色變へぬ松の緑に這ふ蔦はをのが紅葉を譲る也けり
| iro kaenu matsu no midori ni hau tsuta wa ono ga momiji o yuzuru narikeri |
The unchanging hue of The pine tree’s green, Entwined with ivy: Its own scarlet leaves It has surrendered… |
427
Right.
色變へぬ松の緑もなかりけりかゝれる蔦や紅葉しつらん
| iro kaenu matsu no midori mo nakarikeri kakareru tsuta ya momiji shitsuran |
The unchanging hue of The pine tree’s green, too, Has gone: Has the festooning ivy Turned scarlet? |
428
The Right wonder about the appropriateness of ‘green entwined’ (midori ni hau), adding that ‘entwined with ivy’ (hau tsuta) also sounds unpleasant [kikiyokarazu]. The Left simply say that the Right’s poem is plainly pedestrian [rei no tsune no koto nari], but have no other criticisms.
Shunzei’s judgement: Although both Left and Right begin with ‘unchanging hue’ (iro kaenu) and there is little to distinguish between them, the Left’s ‘its own scarlet leaves’ (ono ga momiji o) is charmingly poetic style [okashikarubeki yō no fūtei nari]. The Right’s ‘festooning ivy’ (kakareru tsuta) appears as if the poet cannot distinguish between the two plants, which is foolish [orokanarubeshi]. What is there to the criticism of ‘entwined with ivy’? Thus, the Left wins.