hototogisu hanatachibana ni yadoru to mo nanorazariseba ikade shiramashi
The cuckoo Among the orange blossom May make his lodging, but If he fails to announce himself How would one ever know?
Controller’s Graduate 23
Right
さよなかにみふねの山のほととぎすほのかになきてすぎぬなるかな
sayo naka ni mifune no yama no hototogisu honoka ni nakite suginu naru kana
In the midst of a night so brief Upon Mifune Mountain, A cuckoo, Faintly crying, Has passed his time!
Kerin’in Graduate 24
It is entirely impossible to decide between these two poems.
Neither of these poems is particularly bad. The Left flows smoothly and is elegant; the Right starts with ‘Mifune Mountain’ and then continues with ‘faintly’, which certainly does not lack skill. Thus, I would say that these should tie, although this will doubtless be a source of some dissatisfaction to the writer of the Right.
How deeply Moving might it be? For a cuckoo To have long awaited and He then comes to call…
Cell of Everlasting Truth 22
In regard to the Left’s poem, in the Poetry Match held in Engi 3, there was a compostion which went ‘Until in Kataoka / The plains of Ashita / Does resound / The mountain cuckoos / Are singing now!’[i] When this was recited, His Majesty laughed and so it was not read aloud all the way to the end. The expression ‘resound’ is poor. The diction of the Right’s poem is terribly stilted and really doesn’t trip off the tongue, but strictly speaking it has no particular faults. I make it the winner.
The Left’s poem seems move my heart to the greatest degree. However, it really is the case that ‘resounding with song’ is something which happens after hearing it—that’s when it would seem right to compose ‘come resound with song’. It’s extremely imprudent to guess and say that somewhere ‘might resound with song’ without hearing it. And yet, there is the conception of there being times, too, when the cuckoo doesn’t sing. In the Right’s poem ‘To have long awaited’ lacks harmony, and I would want there to be a break there, so I should say that the Left wins.
samidare ni nuru to mo yukamu hototogisu futakoe kinaku sato wa ari ya to
By the summer showers We will be drenched, yet let’s away! For the cuckoo Has come to sing and sing again At that estate, perchance…
Retired from the world 19
Right
さ月やみくらくはくらくほととぎすこゑはかくれぬ物にぞありける
satsuki yami kuraku wa kuraku hototogisu koe wa kakurenu mono ni zo arikeru
In the Fifth Month’s gloomy Darkness deep, The cuckoo Is unable to conceal his cry With anything at all!
Senior Assistant Minister Past Lecturer 20
Both Left and Right are workmanlike poems with little evidence of thought. With that being said, however, the conclusion of the Right’s poem is identical to that of a famous work by the Horikawa Minister. That poem is ‘The River Sao: / Mist rises, and from beyond / Come plover cries, / Their calls uninterrupted / By anything.’[1] And the Right here is, at the very least, extraordinarily redolent of it! Still, I feel the Left does linger in the heart.
The Left’s poem is not particularly remarkable, yet it has no faults worth mentioning. It doesn’t contain any distasteful expressions and resembles familiar compositions. The poem of the Right’s ‘darkness deep’ sounds like something said by a black-hearted scoundrel—I don’t feel it’s poetic diction at all! In addition, on the matter of the concluding ‘unable to conceal his cry’,[i] well, this appears in a range of earlier poems, as does ‘his cry uninterrupted’, so one should be hesitant about using it. I make the faultless Left the winner.
[1] Composed on plovers for a poetry competition in Eishō 4 [1050]. 佐保川の霧のあなたに鳴く千鳥聲は隔てぬ物にぞ有ける saogawa no / kiri no anata ni / naku chidori / koe wa hedatenu / mono ni zo arikeru ‘The River Sao: / Mist rises, and from beyond / Come plover cries, / Their calls uninterrupted / By anything.’ The Horikawa Minister of the Right [Fujiwara no Yorimune] (GSIS VI: 388)
[i] The only surviving example of this usage pre-dating this match is: Written on the edge of a folding screen by a painting of geese flying in the clouds, when His Majesty ordered a celebration for the Junior Principal Handmaid. 白雲の中にまがひてゆく雁もこゑはかくれぬ物にざりける shirakumo no / naka ni magaite / yuku kari mo / koe wa kakurenu / mono ni zarikeru ‘Within the clouds, so white, / Entangled / Goes a goose, / Unable to conceal his cry / With anything at all!’ Fujiwara no Kanesuke (Kanesuke-shū 48). There is also one further example in later poetry: Composed and sent when he heard that Inspector Kinmichi had had a number of people compose poems on the bush warbler at his residence. 春霞たちへだつれど鶯の声はかくれぬものとしらずや harugasumi / tachihedatsuredo / uguisu no / koe wa kakurenu / mono to shirazu ya ‘The haze of spring / Arising, interferes, yet / The warbler / Is unable to conceal his cry— / I wonder if he know it?’ Former Consultant Tsunemori (GYS I: 50)
ochikata ya kumoi no yama no hototogisu ama tsu yoso ni mo nakiwataru kana
From the distant Mount within the clouds A cuckoo In yonder heavens Sings his song!
Lord Saburō 17
Right
ほととぎすしのだのもりのしのびねをたづねざりせばいかできかまし
hototogisu shinoda no mori no shinobine o tazunezariseba ikade kikamashi
A cuckoo In Shinoda’s sacred grove Lets out a hushed cry; Had I not come to visit here, How might I have heard it?
Ushigimi 18
In regards the poem of the Left’s ‘from the distant’ and what follows, extremely recently and colloquially, at the Nakatomi purification ceremony it seems there was a composition, ‘in the distance, below the trees so lush’. This diction is contrary to the expected style of waka and something which occurs only extremely rarely. Truly, one does not compose using such diction in a poetry match. The poem of the Right has nothing of interest about it, yet it also lack faults to mention, so it wins.
This round, neither poem appears bad. The Left has a novel style, while the Right seems cliched, but its expression is smooth. I wonder if we could see these as a tie.
hototogisu maki no to bakari machitsuredo nakade akenuru natsu no shinonome
O, cuckoo, Briefly by my door of cedar wood Did I await you, yet No song, at all, brightened This summer edge of dawn.
Lord Dainagon 15
Right (Win)
ほととぎすなくうれしさをつつめどもそらにはこゑもとまらざりけり
hototogisu naku ureshisa o tsutsumedomo sora ni wa koe mo tomarazarikeri
At the cuckoo’s Song, my joy To hold fast did I try, yet In the skies, his cry Lingered not.
Lord Chūnagon 16
The Left’s poem, after careful consideration, has a graceful style. The diction of the Right’s poem is superb, and there is an excess of conception. Reading and reciting these leaves my aged heart at a loss. Thus, they tie.
In the Left’s poem, ‘briefly’ is an expression which means ‘just for a short time’, I think, and thus the sentiments are lacking. Saying ‘brightened…edge of dawn’ sounds as if the poet has only begun waiting at daybreak. One does see, apparently, a number of poems in prior matches where the poet has not heard the cuckoo. Nevertheless, I do wonder about whether this is appropriate, given that poems where the cuckoo has been heard are faultless. The Right’s poem is not that good, but it is poetic. Thus, it has to win.
shiranami no tatsuta no kawa ni shikiru kana yama no sakura wa chirinikerashi mo
Whitecaps On Tatsuta River Constant are! Upon it the mountain cherries Have scattered it seems…
Lady Kazusa 13
Right
花ざかりゆきとぞ見ゆるとしをへてよしのの山はふゆはふたたび
hanazakari yuki to zo miyuru toshi o hete yoshino no yama wa fuyu wa futatabi
The profusion of blossom Seems like snow, so Passing through the year To Mount Yoshino Winter comes twice!
Lady Shikibu 14
The poem of the Left’s ‘Whitecaps / On Tatsuta River / Constant are!’ is an expression I have not heard before. I have reviewed a large number of collections, and it has not been previously used. The Right’s poem is one from the Poetry Match held by the Sage of Ungo Temple.[i] Thus, it is difficult to determine a winner or loser.
The Left poem’s central line ‘constant are!’ sounds a bit distant. In addition, looking at the flowing of water is not part of the essential meaning of the topic. If one views the treetops, then one should say something like ‘Hidden in the mountains’ depths / These blossoms – would any wish to see them?’[1] –that’s an appropriate expression to be directed toward such blossoms. This poem is lacking in the sentiments required for a poetry match. The poem of the Right, stating that blossoms resemble snow, is something that has been used frequently and so sounds very well-worn, indeed. The final ‘Winter comes twice!’ also lacks elegance and, in addition, seems insufficient. I would think these should tie?
[1] A poem from a poetry competition held by Her Majesty, the Empress, during the Kanpyō period. 吹風と谷の水としなかりせば深山がくれの花を見ましや fuku kaze to / tani no mizu to shi / nakariseba / miyama gakure no / hana o mimashi ya ‘The gusting wind and / The valley’s waters / Were there none, then / Hidden in the mountains’ depths / These blossoms – would there be any chance to see them?’ Tsurayuki (KKS II: 118)
[i] It is unclear which poetry match Mototoshi is referring to here. The Sage of Ungo Temple (Ungoji no hijiri 雲居寺聖) was a sobriquet given to Senzai瞻西 (?-1127), after he reconstructed the temple in Higashiyama to the east of the capital after a long period of abeyance. There are surviving records of three poetry matches held at the temple in which Senzai took part: the ‘Poetry Match at the Ungo Temple’ (Ungoji uta’awase 雲居寺歌合); the ‘Poetry Match held at the Celebration after Sutra-copying at the Ungo Temple’ (Ungoji kechiengyō goen uta’awase 雲居寺結縁経後宴歌合); and the ‘Later Match Contest held at the Ungo Temple’ (Ungoji goban uta’awase 雲居寺後番歌合). All of these took place in Eikyū 4 (1116), but the first and last are fragmentary and only identifiable from the headnote to poems included in other collections. Ungoji kechiengyō goen uta’awase, however, is extant and was judged by Mototoshi, so we can definitively say that he was present. This match, though, took place in the Eighth Month, and so was devoted to autumn topics; Shikibu is also not listed among the participants, although a number of other court ladies well-known as poets do take part. The other two matches took place in the summer, or later in the autumn, and so it seems unlikely that a spring topic, such as cherry blossom, would have been assigned. The likelihood, therefore, is that either Mototoshi is referring to another match held at the temple in the spring, no record of which has survived, or that he has misremember the occasion on which he encountered Shikibu’s poem. A slight variant of this poem does occur in the anthology Konsen wakashū 今撰和歌集 (‘Anthology of Current Poetry’) (27), a private collection believed to have been put together by Kenshō in 1165-66, but the headnote there references this match, and there appear to be no records of this poem elsewhere in the canon.
yaezakura furuki miyako ni nioedomo furizu mo hana no mezurashiki kana
Eightfold cherry Around the ancient capital Does glow, yet Unfallen and anew, the blossoms Are remarkable!
Cell of Fragrant Cloud 11
Right
みやこいでてかりそめにこし山ざとの花に心のからめられぬる
miyako idete karisome ni koshi yamazato no hana ni kokoro no karamerarenuru
Departing the capital On occasion I make my way To a mountain retreat where The blossoms my heart Have entangled.
Cell of Compassionate Light 12
The Left’s poem is a clear example of the overlayed diction fault. As for the Right’s poem, saying ‘have entangled’ is extremely overblown diction. Whatever sort of poem it might be, this expression would be unacceptable, wouldn’t it! Was this, perhaps, composed with an imperfect understanding of the Kawara Minister’s poem? That goes ‘For the scented / Breeze has yet to blow…’[1] Perhaps this is a misreading of a character in the poem’s text?[i] The Left has the fault of overlayed diction, and the Right…[ii]
The Left’s poem is extremely charming. I do have to say that having both ‘ancient’ (furuki) and ‘unfallen’ (furizu) is a fault and yet, this should not be criticized excessively. The poem of the Right’s ‘On occasion I make my way’, too, does not seem as if the poet is visiting the blossom, and so is lacking in sentiment. The concluding ‘have entangled’ is a piece of overblown diction, although it is not the case that it does not appear in prior poetry,[2] but I still feel that it grates on the ear a bit.
[1] When he participated in an archery display, during the reign of the Jōgan emperor [Seiwa]. けふ桜しづくにわが身いざぬれむかごめにさそふ風のこぬまに kyō sakura / shizuku ni wa ga mi / iza nuremu / kagome ni sasou / kaze no konu ma ni ‘Today let cherry blossom / Droplets my body / Drench! / For the scented / Breeze has yet to blow…’ The Kawara Minister of the Left (GSS II: 56)
[2] 美知乃倍乃 宇万良能宇礼尓 波保麻米乃 可良麻流伎美乎 波可礼加由加牟 michi no e no / umara no ure ni / haomame no / karamaru kimi o / hagareka yukamu ‘At the roadside / The briar rose tips / By bean vines / Are entangled, but from you / My love, I must depart…’ Hasetsukabe no Tori (MYS XX: 4352)
[i] Mototoshi is suggesting that Sōen has misread kagome かこめ in Minamoto no Tōru’s famous earlier poem as karame からめ, which would have been possible if reading a handwritten text.
[ii] There is a lacuna in Mototoshi’s judgement here, but it is clear from what he has said that he disapproved of both poems this round and so it would have been a tie.
sakurayama hana no sakari ni kaze fukeba kozue o koshite shiranami zo tatsu
On the mount of Cherries So fine is the blossom that When the wind does blow, Passing o’er the treetops, Whitecaps arise!
Controller’s Graduate 9
Right
この春ははなにこころのあくがれてこのもとにてもくらしつるかな
kono haru wa hana ni kokoro no akugarete ko no moto nite mo kurashitsuru kana
This springtime By the blossoms my heart Is captivated, and Beneath the trees Does dwell!
Kerin’in Graduate 10
Both Left and Right, in terms of diction, tone and style are superb with no faults at all. Thus, this is a tie.
The final section of the Left’s poem lacks fluency, yet it has conception. As for the Right’s poem, in order for one’s heart to be captivated by the blossom on every single treetop, one would need to be walking around. If one is resting peacefully beneath the trees, then one should say that one’s heart is captured. This section sounds erroneous, so the Left should win.
haru no hi o nao nagakare to omou kana hana miru koto no akanu kokoro wa
O, let the days of spring Still linger lengthily on, I wish! For Gazing on the blossom Has yet to sate my heart…
Cell of the Fragrant Elephant 7
Right
ことしもやあだにちりぬる山ざくらさもあさましきはなのくせかな
kotoshi mo ya ada ni chirinuru yamazakura sa mo asamashiki hana no kuse kana
This year, too, will You swiftly scatter, O, mountain cherry? That is a wretched Habit blossoms have!
Cell of the Everlasting Truth 8
The poem of the Left’s final section is that of a pre-existing older poem.[i] The poem of the Right’s final section is deplorable. Even so, I make the Right the winner.
Both Left and Right are elegant. With that being said, the Left also sounds charming, while the Right’s concluding ‘habit!’, although it is not a major fault, grates on the ear a bit. This is another win for the Left.
[i] The ending of this poem in the texts of this match with Mototoshi’s judgements is different, with the final line being akanu kagiri wa (‘have yet to sate’). This means it closely resembles: Topic unknown. ゆきとまるところぞはるはなかりける花に心のあかぬかぎりは yukitomaru / tokoro zo haru wa / nakarikeru / hana ni kokoro no / akanu kagiri wa ‘To go and stay / A place in springtime / Have I none / For the blossoms, my heart / Have yet to sate completely.’ Sugawara no Tamenobu (GSIS I: 90). Kubota et al. (2018, 223) suggest that as we know that the version of the match that Toshiyori judged was produced later, this poem may have been revised in the light of Mototoshi’s judgement.
ukiyo ni mo hana no sakari ni narinureba mono’omou hito wa araji to zo omou
Even in this cruel world The blossoms in profusion Are, so Folk sunk in gloomy thought Are there likely not a one, I feel!
Retired from the world on Mount Uji 5
Right
ちらざらむことこそはなのかたからめわびてはさてもしばしあらなむ
chirazaramu koto koso hana no katakarame wabite wa sate mo shibashi aranamu
Not to scatter For the blossoms is a thing So hard— It may be painful, but still I would have them stay a while.
Senior Assistant Minister Past Lecturer 6
I fail to understand—at all—why there should be a large number of people for whom the world is cruel. This is deeply unpleasant. In connection with this there’s an older poem which says ‘innumerable, my sorry self alone has caused these woes’.[i] The poem of the Right has ‘It may be painful, but still / I would have them stay a while’—if the blossoms have not yet scattered, then how can this still be painful? I cannot grasp the diction and reasoning of these two poems, so they tie.
The poem of the Left has some conception—it appears to be expressing sentiments that are natural. It’s extremely charming how it links with the conception of the old expression ‘the heart of spring’.[ii] However, the diction ‘feel/think’ [omou] appears in two places. I do feel that in terms of the sequencing of the phrasing, that’s certainly how it is, so it’s not a fault as such, but I would have preferred to see the second usage at the beginning of its line. As for the poem of the Right, from ‘painful’ to the end, it is immature. It doesn’t sound like a poem and resembles prosaic speech. Thus, I have to say the Left is the winner.
[i] Mototoshi appears to be misremembering this poem: Topic unknown. おほかたのわが身ひとつのうきからになべての世をも怨みつるかな ōkata no / wa ga mi hitotsu no / uki kara ni / nabete no yo o mo / uramitsuru kana ‘In general / My sorry self, alone, / Has caused these woes, but / Still all of this common world / I do despise!’ Tsurayuki (SIS XV: 953).
[ii] Toshiyori is referring to this poem from Kokinshū here: Composed at the Nagisa Palace when he saw the cherries in bloom. 世中にたえてさくらのなかりせば春の心はのどけからまし yo no naka ni / taete sakura no / nakariseba / haru no kokoro wa / nodokekaramashi ‘If, in this world of ours / All the cherry blossom / Disappeared / The heart of spring / Might find peace.’ Ariwara no Narihira (KKS I: 53).
