Left (Win).
頼めぬを待ちつる宵も過果てゝつらさ閉ぢむる片敷の床
| tanomenu o machitsuru yoi mo sugihatete turasa tojimuru katashiki no toko |
He did not say he’d come, and so To waiting through the night I have put an end, Sealing my unhappiness In a single bed… |
Lord Sada’ie.
835
Right.
我戀や衛士の焚く火となりぬらん夜のみひとり燃えあかす哉
| wa ga koi ya eshi no taku hi to narinuran yoru nomi hitori moeakasu kana |
Has my love, like Conscripts’ kindled flame Become? Through the night alone Afire? |
Lord Tsune’ie.
836
The Right state: we wonder about the appropriateness of both ‘sealing’ (tojimuru) and ‘a single bed’ (katashiki no toko). The Left state: it sounds as if the ‘conscripts’ kindled flame’ (eshi no taku hi) is alone.
In judgement: the Left’s poem, beginning with ‘to waiting through the night I have put an end’ (machitsuru yoi mo sugihatete) and then continuing with ‘sealing my unhappiness’ (tsurasa tojimuru) does not sound bad, but ‘single bed’ should surely have been ‘sleeve’ (sode). The ‘conscripts kindled flame’ would certainly not have been ‘burning alone’ (hitori moyu). The Left should win, it seems.