Left (Win).
月やそれほのみし人の面影を偲びかへせば有明の空
tsuki ya sore honomishi hito no omokage o shinobikaeseba ariake no sora |
Was the moon her? So briefly glimpsed, her Face I bring to mind, but simply see The dawning sky… |
A Servant Girl.
791
Right.
夜もすがら苦しき戀に晴れやらぬ心迷いや明暗の空
yomosugara kurushiki koi ni hareyaranu kokoro mayoi ya akegure no sora |
All night long From the pains of love Have I had no relief; Does the tumult in my heart reflect The shading of the dawning sky? |
Lord Tsune’ie.
792
The Right state: we find no faults in the Left’s poem. The Left state: the initial section of the Right’s poem sounds a little clumsy.
In judgement: both the Left’s ‘dawning sky’ (ariake no sora) and the Right’s ‘shading of the dawning sky’ (akegure no sora) sound pleasant, but the Left’s conception of commencing with ‘Was the moon her?’ (tsuki ya sore) and following it with ‘I bring to mind, but simply see the dawning sky’ (shinobikaeseba ariake no sora) appears particularly profoundly appropriate for the topic. Thus, the Left must win.