Love IV: 6

Left (Win).
月やそれほのみし人の面影を偲びかへせば有明の空

tsuki ya sore
honomishi hito no
omokage o
shinobikaeseba
ariake no sora
Was the moon her?
So briefly glimpsed, her
Face
I bring to mind, but simply see
The dawning sky…

A Servant Girl.
791

Right.
夜もすがら苦しき戀に晴れやらぬ心迷いや明暗の空

yomosugara
kurushiki koi ni
hareyaranu
kokoro mayoi ya
akegure no sora
All night long
From the pains of love
Have I had no relief;
Does the tumult in my heart reflect
The shading of the dawning sky?

Lord Tsune’ie.
792

The Right state: we find no faults in the Left’s poem. The Left state: the initial section of the Right’s poem sounds a little clumsy.

In judgement: both the Left’s ‘dawning sky’ (ariake no sora) and the Right’s ‘shading of the dawning sky’ (akegure no sora) sound pleasant, but the Left’s conception of commencing with ‘Was the moon her?’ (tsuki ya sore) and following it with ‘I bring to mind, but simply see the dawning sky’ (shinobikaeseba ariake no sora) appears particularly profoundly appropriate for the topic. Thus, the Left must win.

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