Left (Win).
面影に千里をかけて見するかな春のひかりに遊ぶいとゆふ
| omokage ni chisato o kakete misuru kana haru no hikari ni asobu itoyū |
A vision from Across a thousand leagues Appears, In the spring sunlight Wavering ‘midst the haze. |
105
Right.
見わたせばあるかなきかに亂れつゝ心ぼそくも遊ぶいとゆふ
| miwataseba aru ka naki ka ni midaretsutsu kokorobosoku mo asobu itoyū |
When I look out Is it there, or not? Disordered and Forlorn, Wavering haze. |
The Provisional Master of the Empress’ Household Office.
106
The Right say they have nothing particular to remark upon about the Left’s poem, but the Left wonder whether ‘forlorn’ (kokorobosoku mo) forms an appropriate linkage with the final line. (The point they are making is that in the original poem the final line starts asobu, which literally means ‘enjoy oneself’ or ‘play’, and thus ‘forlorn’ seems an incongruous prequel to it. In all the ‘Heat Haze’ poems I’ve translated asobu as ‘wavering’, as it’s use in this context is not for its sense, but as an addition piece of orthographic wordplay, as ‘heat haze’ (itoyū), is written with the characters for ‘threads’ (ito 糸) and ‘play’ (yū 遊).)
Shunzei’s judgement is: ‘One has to wonder about the suitability of the final line of the Right’s poem, as is the gist of the Left’s remarks; by contrast, the ending of the Left’s poems seems particularly good. It has to be the winner.’