Left (Win).
春山の霞のうちに鳴く雉思ふ心をよそに知れとや
| haru yama no kasumi no uchi ni naku kigisu omou kokoro wo yoso ni shire to ya |
In the springtime mountain Haze A pheasant calls, His longing to the distance Must he wish to make known… |
77
Right.
忍あまり人に知れつゝ鳴く雉その妻戀のほどよいかにぞ
| shinobi amari hito ni shiretsutsu naku kigisu sono tsuma koi no hodo yo ika ni zo |
Too much to conceal, so To all must he tell it, A calling pheasant: His fondness for his hen, How great must it be? |
78
The Right team query why mountains are singled out in the Left’s poem, while the Left say that it is ‘unimpressive’ to conclude a poem ‘How great must it be?’ (ika ni zo) after beginning it with ‘Too much to conceal’ (shinobi amari).
Shunzei starts by addressing the Right’s question, stating that it is ‘perfectly normal’ for pheasants to call from mountains and meadows in springtime, and it is not the case that a poem on the theme of pheasants has to contain a reference to meadows. As for the final line of the poem, ‘Must he wish to make known’ (shire to ya), ‘there have, of late, been some who have a liking for this form of expression,’ but ‘it is not particularly desirable.’ The Right’s expression, ‘To all must he tell it’ (hito ni shiretsutsu) was old-fashioned, but ‘failed to sound impressive.’ In addition, the final line was ‘not satisfactory,’ whereas the initial line of the Left’s poem was ‘not bad’ (the commentators suggest Shunzei is referring to the image of a pheasant calling from the concealment of the mountain mists here), and so they must be the winner.