Love and the moon.
| kazu naranu mi wa ukigumo no yoso nagara aware to zo omou aki no yo no tsuki | Unlike all those countless Others, I, drifting with the clouds So distant, Feel so fondly for The moon this autumn night. |
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Tag Archives: aki
Eien narabō uta’awase 21
Round Seven
Left
秋の夜はながゐのうらにとまりしてのどかにてらすありあけの月
| aki no yo wa nagai no ura ni tomarishite nodoka ni terasu ariake no tsuki | Autumn nights Are long at Nagai Bay Lodging, and Gently shining The dawntime moon. |
Lady Kazusa
41
Right (Win)
秋の夜のくもふきはらふあらしこそ月みるひとのこころなりけれ
| aki no yo no kumo fuki’harau arashi koso tsuki miru hito no kokoro narikere | On an autumn night The clouds a’blowing away, The storm wind, truly, As someone gazing upon the moon Has the selfsame heart! |
Lady Shikibu
42
The poem of the Left certainly imagines the scene just as it is. With that being said, however, the dawntime moon is not present long enough. The Right’s poem simply sounds like one composed by Atsutaka for the ‘Poetry Match held at the Residence of the Former Captain of the Outer Palace Guards, Left Division’.[i] Thus, it’s impossible for me to determine a winner or loser.
It’s a poem which we see in the Poetry Match at Lord Moroyori’s Residence.
冬のよの雲ふきはらふ木枯や月見る人の心なるらむ
| fuyu no yo no kumo fuki’harau kogarashi ya tsuki miru hito no kokoro naruramu | On a winter’s night The clouds a’blowing away, The bitter wind, indeed, As someone gazing upon the moon The same heart seems to have![ii] |
In the poem of the Left, is it the moon or the poet who is lodging at Nagai Bay? If it’s the moon, then ‘lodging’ is erroneous; if it’s the poet, then ‘gently shining’ doesn’t work. In addition to this vagueness, I do also question whether ‘dawntime’ sounds appropriate. As for the Right’s poem, ‘as someone gazing at the moon / Has the selfsame heart!’ is an elegant conception, and the diction is also smooth. It reminds me of an earlier work by someone else. Thus, it wins.
[i] This match has a several different titles, Mototoshi refers to here as both: Zen sa-hyōe no kami no ie no uta’awase 前左兵衛督家歌合 and also Moriyori-kyō no ie uta’awase 師頼卿家歌合, but it is also known as the ‘Poetry Match held by the Late Master of the of the Crown Prince’s Household’ (Ko-tōgū daibu ie uta’awase 故東宮大夫家歌合) and the ‘Poetry held by Moroyori, Captain of the Outer Palace Guards, Right Division’ (U-hyōe no kami moroyori uta’awase 右兵衛督師頼歌合): the text of this match is no longer extant, but it is known to have taken place in the winter Tennin 天仁 2 (1109). Fujiwara no Kiyosuke notes that it was judged by Toshiyori, but Mototoshi disagreed with his assessments and submitted at set of judgements of his own in appeal (Fujioka 1995, 212).
[ii] This poem is included in Shoku shikashū (VI: 293), attributed to Moroyori, with the headnote, ‘Composed on the moon in winter’.
Tsurayuki uta’awase 12
The Beginning of Winter
Left
ほどもなく冬は来にけり神無月秋はまだきもみえなかくを
| hodo mo naku fuyu wa kinikeri kaminazuki aki wa madaki mo mienakaku o | Before I knew it Winter has arrived! In the Godless Month Autumn has only just Vanished from view… |
23
Right
神無月たてるをみれば白露のむすぼほれたる霜おきにけり
| kaminazuki tateru o mireba shiratsuyu no musubōretaru shimo okinikeri | When, the Godless Month’s Arrival I see, Silver dewdrops Have drenched The fallen frost. |
24
Tsurayuki uta’awase 11
Love
Left
あまぐもに鳴きわたるなる雁がねはおくれし秋や恋しかるらむ
| amagumo ni nakiwataru naru kari ga ne wa okureshi aki ya koishikaruramu | Through the heavens’ clouds Crying, crossing go The geese, their calls, Delayed, might autumn’s surfeit Make me yearn for you more? |
21
Right
わが心あやしかりけり秋果ててゆくとみるみるなほぞ恋しき
| wa ga kokoro ayashikarikeri aki hatete yuku to mirumiru nao zo koishiki | My heart Feels strange, indeed! Autumn’s done, and I ever watch it leave, yet Still I yearn so strongly… |
22
Eien narabō uta’awase 20
Round Six
Left
あきの夜のありあけのつきはくまもなしあさくらやまもなのみこそあらめ
| aki no yo no ariake no tsuki wa kuma mo nashi asakurayama mo na nomi koso arame | At an autumn night’s Dawn, the moon Has not a cloud before it; The Mount of Morning Dark May be so in name alone! |
Cell of Fragrant Cloud
39
Right (Win)
秋の月あかしのうらはなびきもにすむわれからのかずも見つべし
| aki no tsuki akashi no ura wa nabikimo ni sumu warekara no kazu mo mitsubeshi | The autumn moon is Bright above Akashi Bay; Among the trailing seaweed Dwell tiny shrimp, Their number now clear to my eyes. |
Cell of Compassionate Light
40
The poem of the Left is an entirely tedious composition. It simply states that a cloudless autumn moon does not fit with the place name, Mount Asakura. The moon at ‘dawn’ is the same as the moon at ‘dawntime’, while Mount Asakura is used when dawn has completely finished. As for the poem of the Right, while the moon is described as bright, it doesn’t seem right to then make it a poem about trailing seaweed—this does not seem charming at all. This round, too, there’s not much more I can say than that.
As I have already mentioned, ‘moon at dawn’ in the poem of the Left is an expression which it is impossible to say is praiseworthy. Even more so, really, the concluding ‘may be so in name alone’ just says ‘is so in name alone’, doesn’t it? It’s contrary to reason to say that it’s fluent and thus, and I say this reluctantly, it’s difficult to understand. As for the Right’s poem, I don’t understand this either: it ought to be ‘their numbers, too, I have been able to see’—saying ‘their number now clear to my eyes’ implies that you haven’t previously been able to see them up to that point, and it’s vague about when you have. Even so, it’s getting light, so the light of the moon at dawn seems superior.
Eien narabō uta’awase 19
Round Five
Left
あきのよのふけゆくかぜにくもはれてはなだのそらにすめるつきかげ
| aki no yo no fukeyuku kaze ni kumo harete hanada no sora ni sumeru tsukikage | As the autumn night Wears on, the wind Clears away the cloud, and From the pale indigo sky Comes clear moonlight. |
Controller’s Graduate
37
Right
ふるさとのときぞともなきさびしさもなぐさむばかりすめる月かな
| furusato no toki zo tomonaki sabishisa mo nagusamu bakari sumeru tsuki kana | In the ancient capital Timeless is The lonely sadness Consoled only By the clear, bright moon! |
Kerin’in Graduate
38
The Left’s poem is a transparent copy of an older work. That poem is:
天の原四方のむら雲吹きはらひみどりの空にすめる月影
| ama no hara yomo no muragumo fukiharai midori no sora ni sumeru tsukikage | Across the plain of Heaven All the crowding clouds Are blown away, and From the sky so green Comes clear moonlight.[i] |
I don’t feel this is in any way different. As for the Right’s poem, while it is not the case that it is entirely without conception, it lacks any exemplary elements, so I don’t see how I can possibly recommend either of these.
The Left’s poem isn’t bad, but it should be revised to use ‘sky so green’, because using ‘pale indigo sky’ is vague. To decide in favour of it I would need there to be a prior poem as precedent. The Right’s poem is not particularly exemplary, but it does sound as if there are times like that. In the absence of a precedent for the Left, the poem of the Right wins.
[i] The source of this poem is unknown.
Eien narabō uta’awase 18
Round Four
Left
まくずはふ山ぢもはれてあきのよはこゆるたびびとやすき月かな
| makuzu hau yamaji mo harete aki no yo wa koyuru tabibito yasuki tsuki kana | Kudzu vines crawl Along the mountain paths, so clear On an autumn night for A traveller a’crossing Lit by a clement moon! |
Cell of the Fragrant Elephant
35
Right
くまもなきつきのひかりをながめてはひたけてぞしるよはあけにけり
| kuma mo naki tsuki no hikari o nagamete wa hi takete zo shiru yo wa akenikeri | No cloud mars The moon’s light, Filling my gaze, as A sun up high, telling me, Night leads to bright dawn. |
Cell of the Everlasting Truth
36
The poem of the Left has nothing to present in all of its syllables. The poem of the Right resembles a composition by someone drunk out of his mind. As a result, it’s impossible to decide between them.
In the poem of the Left, does ‘clement moonlight’ mean that the moon’s light enables one to traverse a mountain path, which normally one would be unable to make one’s way along because one would expect it to be dark? The diction here is insufficient. As it says in the preface to the Ancient and Modern Collection of Narihira’s poems, ‘excessive conception but lacking in diction, like withered flowers lacking colours, but with a lingering fragrance’. This is a poem in that style, isn’t it. As for the poem of the Right, this, too, has ‘night leads to bright dawn’—the diction here is stilted and the conception lacks elegance. I have to say these poems are of about the same standard.
GSIS IV: 256
Composed for the Palace Poetry Match held on the 10th day of the Eighth Month, Kanna 1.
いつもみる月ぞとおもへどあきのよはいかなるかげをそふるなるらん
| itumo miru tuki zo to omoFedo aki no yo Fa ika naru kage wo soFurunaruran | Always, do I see The moon, I thought, yet On an autumn night What is this light That trails over all? |
Fujiwara no Nagayoshi
Eien narabō uta’awase 17
Round Three
Left (Win)
いかにしてあきはひかりのまさるらんおなじみかさの山のはの月
| ika ni shite aki wa hikari no masaruran onaji mikasa no yama no ha no tsuki | Why is it that In autumn your light Should be best of all? Though always upon Mikasa Mountain’s edge you rest, O moon… |
Retired from the world
33
Right
秋のよはくもるといへどこと月のさやけきよりもさやけかりけり
| aki no yo wa kumoru to iedomo koto tsuki no sayakeki yori mo sayakarikeri | On an autumn night Cloudy it may be, yet Compared to another moon’s Brightness, ‘tis still More bright. |
Senior Assistant Minister Past Lecturer
34
Both the configuration and diction of the Left’s poem seem comprehensible. The poem of the Right’s use of ‘moon’ is dubious and blameworthy. Thus, the Left wins.
The poem of the Left doesn’t sound bad. I feel it has a well-trodden ending for a poem and it reminds me of the old line ‘what is this light’[1]—it’s extremely charming. In the Right’s poem, I wonder if ‘another moon’ might be referring to the calendar month, but listening to it, it really does sound as if there are two moons in the sky! Furthermore, the poem lacks fluency and is further case of a hasty retreat from the topic, isn’t it. It’s an excess of technique to say that the autumn moon is not inferior to any other, even if it’s covered with cloud.
[1] Composed for the Palace Poetry Match held on the 10th day of the Eighth Month, Kanna 1. いつもみる月ぞとおもへどあきのよはいかなるかげをそふるなるらん itsumo miru / tsuki zo to omoedo / aki no yo wa / ika naru kage o / sourunaruran ‘Always, do I see / The moon, I thought, yet / On an autumn night / What is this light / That trails over all?’ Fujiwara no Nagayoshi (GSIS IV: 256)
Eien narabō uta’awase 16
Round Two
Left (Win)
秋のよの月のひかりはかはらねどたびのそらこそあはれなりけれ
| aki no yo no tsuki no hikari wa kawaranedo tabi no sora koso aware narikeri | On an autumn night The moon’s light Is unchanged, yet The sky above me on my travels Is so very sad, indeed. |
Lord Saburō
31
Right
あきの夜はたのむる人もなきやどもありあけの月はなほぞまちいづる
| aki no yo wa tanomuru hito mo naki yado mo ariake no tsuki wa nao zo machi’izuru | On an autumn night With no man even expected At my house, It is the dawntime moon’s Appearance that, indeed, I have awaited. |
Ushigimi
32
The poem of the Left seems extremely well-trodden. It resembles a something sung as a popular song. As for the poem of the Right, ‘not…at my house’ is extraordinarily stilted, yet the poems are of the same quality, so I would say these tie.
The poem of the Left’s final ‘Is so very sad, indeed’ sounds pitiful and truly unskilled. The poem of the Right overemphasises ‘even’, and also appears to say that the dawntime moon is an element conveying a moving desolation. I wonder if this is appropriate for the topic of the ‘the moon’ in a poetry match? There needs to be a prior poem as precedent. It does say that the moon’s emergence after having waited for it is something precious, but the poem refers to the moon in the latter part of the month, after the twentieth day, doesn’t it? This would seem to be moving, for sure, but it’s something which doesn’t shed much light, so I would say that the Left wins.
