On rain.
九月のしぐれの雨の山霧のいぶせき我が胸誰を見ばやまむ [十月しぐれの雨降り]
| nagatsuki no shigure no ame no yamagiri no ibuseki a ga mune [kamunazuki |
The longest month’s Drizzling rain Makes mountain mist Upon my miserable heart; [Though the Tenth Month |
Anonymous
Tag Archives: ame
KKS XV: 775
Love III: 5
Left.
我戀は涙の雨の世にふりて袖より外にあらはれにけり
| wa ga koi wa namida no ame no yo ni furite sode yori hoka ni arawarenikeri |
My love With a rain of tears Has filled the world, and In places other than my sleeves Has been revealed. |
729
Right (Win).
人知れぬ心のうちに染めし色も千入になれば隱れざりけり
| hito shirenu kokoro no uchi ni someshi iro mo chishio ni nareba kakurezarikeri |
Unknown to all Within my heart Stained with passion’s hues A thousand times over I could hide no longer! |
730
Left and Right both have nothing to say.
In judgement: the Left’s ‘in places other than my sleeves’ (sode yori hoka ni) is a little old-fashioned. It does not win over the Right’s ‘thousand times’
Love I: 4
Left (Win).
靡かじな海士の藻塩火焚き初めて煙は空にくゆりわぶ共
| nabikaji na ama no moshiobi takisomete kemuri wa sora ni kuyuriwabutomo |
She has not so much as waved to me, yet The fisher-folk salt fires Have begun to kindle and The smoke into the skies Has yet to rise… |
607
ight.
葦の屋の隙漏る雨の雫こそ音聞かぬより袖は濡れけれ
| ashi no ya no hima moru ame no shizuku koso oto kikanu yori sode wa nurekeri |
Through a roof of reeds’ Chinks, drenching rain Drops Make no sound, yet Soak my sleeves. |
608
The Right state that it should be kuyuru in the Left’s poem – and that they are not accustomed to hearing kuyuri. The Left state that, ‘while the rain falling on a roof of reeds would make no sound, once it became drops dripping through, it would. In addition, while it “makes no sound”, how can it be love?’
Shunzei’s judgement: The gentlemen of the Right’s claim that the Left’s poem should be kuyuri is incorrect. This is simply a case of the same diction as in utsuru-utsuri, todomaru-todomari – I should not have to give more examples. In form the poems do have good and bad points [utazama zen’aku arubeki]. I have the feeling I have recently seen something similar to the Right’s metaphorical use of a roof of reeds. Or maybe it was not that recently. The Left’s ‘has yet to rise’ seems better. I shall make it the winner.
Winter I: 20
Left.
誰も見よこれはみぞれの空ならん散來る花は雨や交りし
| tare mo miyo kore wa mizore no sora naran chirikuru hana wa ame ya majirishi |
Behold, one and all! This is a sleet-filled Sky, indeed! Flowers falling, Mixed with rain? |
519
Right (Win).
風渡る花のあたりの春雨は冬の空にもありける物を
| kaze wataru hana no atari no harusame wa fuyu no sora ni mo arikeru mono o |
The breeze blows Around the blossom In spring showers; The winter skies, too, Have such things… |
520
The Right wonder about the appropriateness of ‘mixed’ (majirishi). The Left complain that the Right’s poem ‘does not contain an expression from the topic [dai no ji]’ and wonder about the appropriateness of this in a poetry competition.
Shunzei’s judgement: ‘This is a sleet-filled sky, indeed!’ (kore wa mizore no sora naran) is charming, but the latter section of the poem, saying that blossoms fall during a shower is quite pedestrian [tsune no koto ni aran]. I also wonder about the appropriateness of ‘mixed with rain?’ (ame ya majirishi) as a choice of poetic diction [uta kotoba]. Having ‘Around the blossom in spring showers’ (hana no atari no harusame wa), and then ‘The winter skies, too, have such things…’ (fuyu no sora ni mo arikeru mono o) is extremely charming. Even without the explicit reference to the topic, one can certainly glimpse the sleet. The Right should win.
GSIS XVII: 1015
Composed in the conception of the poem in the Baishi Wenji – ‘the sound of rain striking my window in the desolate darkness’.
戀しくは夢にも人を見るべきを窓うつ雨に目をさましつゝ
| koFisiku Fa yume ni mo Fito wo mirubeki wo mado utu ame ni me wo samasitutu |
Longingly, Even in a dream I would see her, but Rain beating ‘gainst my window Keeps me from my sleep… |
Senior Assistant Governor-General Takatō
Autumn II: 3
Left.
秋の夜は窓打つ雨に夢覺めて軒端にまさる袖の玉水
| aki no yo wa mado utsu ame ni yume samete nokiba ni masaru sode no tamamizu |
On an autumn night Rain beating ‘gainst my widow Wakes me from my dreams, Falling from the eaves, Yet many more are the droplets on my sleeves. |
365
Right.
見る夢も窓打つ雨に驚きて枕に秋の哀をぞ知る
| miru yume mo mado utsu ame ni odorokite makura ni aki no aware o zo shiru |
Dreaming, Rain beating ‘gainst my window Starts me awake; Upon my lonely pillow, autumn’s Sharp sadness do I feel. |
The Provisional Master of the Empress’ Household Office.
366
Neither team has any criticisms of the other’s poem this round.
Shunzei agrees: ‘Both poems are superb in both style and form and, in addition, the initial sections are generally similar, but in terms of the concluding sections, the Left’s is slightly deeper. Thus, the Left wins.’
Autumn I: 23
Left (Win).
ひとり寢る葦の丸屋の下露に床を傡べて鶉鳴く也
| hitori nuru ashi no maruya no shimo tsuyu ni toko o narabete uzura nakunari |
Sleeping singly In a reed-roofed hut, Dripped with dew, Beside my bed The quails are crying. |
345
Right.
秋風に靡く尾花の夕露や鶉が閨の雨と散るらむ
| akikaze ni nabiku obana no yūzuyu ya uzura ga neya no ame to chiruramu |
In the autumn breeze Flutter fronds of silvergrass, Scattering dewdrops On the quails’ roost – How like rain… |
The Provisional Master of the Empress’ Household Office.
346
The Right state that the Left’s poem has no faults. The Left state that, ‘“On the quails’ roost – how like rain” (uzura ga neya no ame) suggests that this is what it actually is.’
Shunzei disagrees: ‘It is not the case that uzura ga neya no ame definitely implies that it is actually rain, particularly with the scene set by dew on silvergrass. However, “beside my bed” (toko o narabete) is particularly attractive in expression. It should win.’
Spring III: 23
Left (Win).
雨そゝく池の浮草風こえて浪と露とにかはづ鳴くなり
| ame sosoku ike no ukikusa kaze koete nami to tsuyu to ni kawazu nakunari |
Rain drifts down Upon the duckweed in the pond, Driven by the wind Among wavelets and dewfall The frogs are calling. |
165
Right.
庭の面はひとつに見ゆる浮草をこゝぞ汀とかはづ鳴なり
| niwa no omo wa hitotsu ni miyuru ukikusa o koko zo migiwa to kawazu nakunari |
The garden’s face Seems as one With the duckweed; ‘Here lies the water’s edge,’ The frogs are calling… |
166
Neither Right nor Left has any particular remarks to make about the other’s poem this round.
Shunzei says, ‘Both poems are splendid in form, but the Left’s ‘among the wavelets and dewfall’ (nami to tsuyu to ni) is particularly pleasing. It must win.