The Right state: the Left’s poem is good. The Left state: the Right’s poem lacks any faults to indicate.
In judgement: the Left’s ‘Barrier House at Fuwa’ (fuwa no sekiya) followed by ‘the moonlight leaking through the boards’ (itama moru tsuki) is truly charming. In addition, if one wonders why ‘I saw her face’ (mishi omokage mo) has been used, it is certainly reminiscent of the poem ‘The dawntime moon, too, lodges in the waters clear’, but an improvement on it. It is difficult to say, however, that the Right’s ‘At the Barrier House at Suma on the dawntime moon’ (suma no sekiya no ariake no tsuki) is in any way inferior.
Composed when he was asked by people in the capital what the moon had been like, when he had returned there, after going to Akashi to gaze upon it, at a time when it was particularly bright.
有明の月もあかしの浦風に波ばかりこそよるとみえしか
ariake no
tuki mo akasi no
urakaze ni
nami bakari koso
yoru to miesika
The dawntime
Moon’s brightness, with Akashi’s
Beach breezes
Simply with the waves
Did seem to draw near with the night…
The Right state: we find no faults in the Left’s poem. The Left state: the initial section of the Right’s poem sounds a little clumsy.
In judgement: both the Left’s ‘dawning sky’ (ariake no sora) and the Right’s ‘shading of the dawning sky’ (akegure no sora) sound pleasant, but the Left’s conception of commencing with ‘Was the moon her?’ (tsuki ya sore) and following it with ‘I bring to mind, but simply see the dawning sky’ (shinobikaeseba ariake no sora) appears particularly profoundly appropriate for the topic. Thus, the Left must win.
The Gentlemen of both the Left and Right state that they find no faults in the opposing poem.
Shunzei’s judgement: The Left has ‘cedar tops touched by the dawntime moon’ (sugi no kozue ni ariake no tsuki) and the Right has ‘cedar tops lies the dusking evening sky’ (sugi no kozue no yūgure no sora) – both poems are charming [okashiku mo haberu]. While the Left lacks a reference to Mount Miwa, this makes it sound all the more charming, I think. ‘Dawntime moon’ is particularly fine in its tranquillity, but the Right’s ‘dusking evening sky’ is by no means inferior, so, again, the round should tie.
Shunzei’s judgement: The Left’s poem has ‘deep snow’ (yuki fukaki), ‘whitening round my cedar door’ (maki no to shiramu), and the Right has ‘the dawntime moon will linger less than’ (ariake no tsuki yori nokoru) – the conception and diction of both are splendid [kokoro kotoba tomo ni yoroshiku koso haberumere]. It seems to me that is exactly how winter mornings are. Thus, it is difficult to say which is better. This must be a good tie [yoki ji].
The Right question the Left’s use of ‘Dawn it is in name alone’ (ariake no na bakari). The Left find no fault with the Right’s poem.
Shunzei’s judgement: I do not feel there is anything particularly wrong with ‘name alone; in autumn’ (na bakari aki no), but the Right’s ‘Together with the moon in the dawning skies’ (tsuki to tomo ni ya ariake no sora) seems most fine [yoroshikuhaberubeshi]. Thus, the Right wins.