autumn bush clover | Waka Poetry

Round Thirty-Two

Left (Tie)

上葉ふく朝の原の秋風におのれうつろふ萩の下露

uwaba fuku
ashita no hara no
akikaze ni
onore utsurou
hagi no shitazuyu

Blowing upon the upper leaves
Over Ashita Plain,
The autumn breeze touches,
Fading all of itself
The dripping dew upon the bush clover.

Tomoshige
63

Right

今よりはたが涙とか成りぬらん下葉色づく秋萩の露

ima yori wa
ta ga namida to ka
narinuran
shitaba irozuku
akihagi no tsuyu

From now on
Whose tears might
They become?
Colouring the underleaves
Are dewdrops upon the autumn bush clover…[1]

Dharma Master Zenshin
64

Left and Right are in the same style. The Right’s poem wonders ‘whose are these tears’ and has a person’s tears as the dew upon the grass, which is something one often hears. Using dew on the grass as a person’s tears is a bit vague, yet it’s not going so far as to be a definite fault. These should tie.

[1] An allusive variation on: Topic unknown. あきはぎのしたば色づく今よりやひとりある人のいねがてにする akihagi no / shitaba irozuku / ima yori ya / hitori aru hito no / inegatenisuru ‘The autumn bush clover’s / Underleaves are colouring / From this point on, / For one all alone / Will sleep be harder to find?’ Anonymous (KKS IV: 220)

Round Twenty-Six

Left

秋萩の露もよすがのさがり葉も風吹きたつる色ぞ身にしむ

akihagi no
tsuyu mo yosuga no
sagariba mo
kaze fukitatsuru
iro zo mi ni shimu

On the autumn bush clover
Dewdrops rest upon
The dangling leaves,
Whipped up by the wind,
Their hues sharply sink into my flesh.

The Former Minister of the Centre
51

Right (Win)

さだめなき風を待つ間もうつろひぬもとあらの萩にむすぶ白露

sadamenaki
kaze o matsu ma mo
utsuroinu
motoara no hagi ni
musubu shiratsuyu

While the unsettled
Breeze they do await,
Faded from
The sparse bush clover have
The clinging dewdrops.[1]

Kozaishō
52

The Left poem’s ‘rest upon the dangling leaves, whipped up by the wind’ seems a novel style, and yet, even though everything about dangling leaves is contained in the Ancient and Modern, it does not sound particularly evocative. The Right lacks even a small fault and appears gorgeous, so it should win.

[1] An allusive variation on: Topic unknown. 宮木野のもとあらの小萩つゆをおもみ風をまつごと君をこそまつ miyagino no / motoara no kohagi / tsuyu o omomi / kaze o matsu goto / kimi o koso matsu ‘On Miyagi Plain / The sparse bush clover / Weighed down with dewdrops / Awaits the wind, just as / I do wait for you…’ Anonymous (KKS XIV: 694)

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