Tag Archives: autumn evenings

Autumn II: 8

Left (Win).

夕霧に千草の花はこもれども隱れぬ物は蟲の聲ごゑ

yūgiri ni
chigusa no hana wa
komoredomo
kakurenu mono wa
mushi no koegoe
In the evening mists
A multitude of blooms
Are enveloped, yet
Unhidden are
The insects’ songs…

Lord Suetsune.

375

Right.

野邊の色はみな薄墨に成にけりしばしと見ゆ夕霧の空

nobe no iro wa
mina usuzumi ni
narinikeri
shibashi to miyu
yūgiri no sora
The fields’ hues
Have all with a weak wash of ink
Been overlayed;
Only briefly yet visible
Is the misty evening sky…

Lord Takanobu.

376

An AI generated image showing a view over a meadow in Japan in the early evening. Mist fills the air almost blocking out the sight of the moon, which has just risen, and also deadens and softens the colours of the the grasses and flowers in the meadow.
Created with Adobe Firefly.
A kuzushiji version of the poem's text.
Created with Soan.

The Right state that, ‘The Left’s poem is supposed to be on the theme of “evening mists”, but it seems to be more focussed on “insects”. The Left counter with, ‘the use of “weak wash of ink” (usuzumi) is unsuited to the end of the poem. The theme of “autumn evenings” is dully depicted, is it not?’

Shunzei’s judgement: Although the Left’s poem does begin with ‘in the evening mists’ (yūgiri ni), it certainly is a poem on insects. In terms of diction, though, ‘all with a weak wash of ink’ (mina usuzumi) is not permissible. Thus, even though it is on insects, the Left wins.

Autumn II: 7

Left (Win).

秋はなを霧の靡に鹿鳴て花も露けき夕なりけり

aki wa nao
kiri no nabiki ni
shika nakite
hana mo tsuyukeki
yū narikeri
It truly is autumn –
Through the fluttering mist
Comes the belling of a stag, and
The blooms, too, are dew-drenched
At even time…

Lord Kanemune.

373

Right.

哀をばいかにせよとて入會の聲うち添ふる鹿の音ならん

aware o ba
ika ni seyo tote
iriai no
koe uchi souru
shika no ne naran
More sad
Than this there’s nothing!
The evening bell
Tolling, accompanied by
The belling of a stag.

Lord Tsune’ie.

374

The Right wonder, ‘In the expression “the blooms, too”, what does the “too” (mo) connect with? In addition, simply finishing the poem “At even time” (yū narikeri) shows a lack of conception.’ The Left counter that, ‘In the Right’s poem, expressions such as “more sad” (aware o ba) and “the belling of a stag” (shika no ne naran) are feeble. In addition, what of having iriai (“evening [bell]”), without explicitly including “bell” (kane)?’

Shunzei’s judgement: While I do wonder about the expression, ‘at even time’, with the inclusion of ‘too’ in the phrase ‘the blooms, too’, there is the impression of unspoken emotional overtones to the poem. The configuration of the first phrase, too, is particularly tasteful. As for the Right’s poem, it is not the case that iriai must always be accompanied by kane (‘bell’) – one can hear the bell in the phrase. However, overall, the Left’s poem gives a stronger impression, and so wins.

Miscellaneous 81

Left.

おほかたの月もつれなき鐘の音に猶うらめしき有明の空

ôkata no
tsuki mo tsurenaki
kane no oto ni
nao urameshiki
ariake no sora
In general,
The moon, with the heartless,
Morning bell’s chime
I find ever more hateful as
The dawning sky.

161

Right (Win).

下もゆるなげきの煙空に見よ今も野山の秋の夕暮

shita moyuru
nageki no keburi
sora ni miyo
ima mo noyama no
aki no yûgure
Burning within,
My grief sends smoke into
The skies – behold it
Now above the mounts and plains
This autumn evening!

162