Left (Win).
夕霧に千草の花はこもれども隱れぬ物は蟲の聲ごゑ
yūgiri ni chigusa no hana wa komoredomo kakurenu mono wa mushi no koegoe | In the evening mists A multitude of blooms Are enveloped, yet Unhidden are The insects’ songs… |
375
Right.
野邊の色はみな薄墨に成にけりしばしと見ゆ夕霧の空
nobe no iro wa mina usuzumi ni narinikeri shibashi to miyu yūgiri no sora | The fields’ hues Have all with a weak wash of ink Been overlayed; Only briefly yet visible Is the misty evening sky… |
376
The Right state that, ‘The Left’s poem is supposed to be on the theme of “evening mists”, but it seems to be more focussed on “insects”. The Left counter with, ‘the use of “weak wash of ink” (usuzumi) is unsuited to the end of the poem. The theme of “autumn evenings” is dully depicted, is it not?’
Shunzei’s judgement: Although the Left’s poem does begin with ‘in the evening mists’ (yūgiri ni), it certainly is a poem on insects. In terms of diction, though, ‘all with a weak wash of ink’ (mina usuzumi) is not permissible. Thus, even though it is on insects, the Left wins.