Left (Tie).
小雨降る葛飾早稲を刈るまゝに民の袖さへうるほひにけり
kosame furu
katsushika wase o
karu mama ni
tami no sode sae
uruoinikeri |
Showers fall in
Katsushika; early ripened rice
Reaping,
Even the peasants’ sleeves
Are damp. |
Kenshō.
371
Right (Tie).
小萩咲く片山陰に日晩の鳴すさびたる村雨のそら
kohagi saku
katayamakage ni
higurashi no
nakisu sabitaru
murasame no sora |
Bush clover blooming
In the mountain’s shade;
The sundown cicadas
Sing intermittently
To the showery skies. |
Jakuren.
372
Neither team has any criticisms to make.
Shunzei say, ‘The style and construction of both poems is superb, though the Left’s is particularly archaic in tone, and thus using mama ni in the central section is somewhat weak, is it not? Surely, “Whilst reaping” (karu nae ni) would have been a better fit! The Right’s simple conclusion of “showery skies” (murasame no sora) is particularly effective. However, the Left, too, with “even the peasants’ sleeves” (tami no sode sae) shows a fine spirit. The two poems are a match and tie.’
Left (Win).
降り暮す小萩がもとの庭の雨を今夜は荻の上に聞く哉
furikurasu
kohagi ga moto no
niwa no ame o
koyoi wa ogi no
ue ni kiku kana |
Falling with the darkness
To the solitary bush-clover’s roots
The rain within my garden
Tonight, on the silver grass
I hear. |
A Servant Girl.
369
Right.
荻原や野邊の秋風末分てさびしさ添ふる村雨の聲
ogiwara ya
nobe no aki kaze
sue wakete
sabishisa souru
murasame no koe |
Silver grass meadows –
Across the fields the autumn wind
Brushes the fronds;
Adding loneliness to
The whisper of showers… |
Lord Takanobu.
370
The Right say, ‘In the Left’s poem, it sounds as if the rain falls in daytime on “the solitary bush-clover’s roots” (kohagi ga moto) and at night “on the silver grass” (ogi no ue).’ The Left have no criticisms of the Right’s poem.
Shunzei judges, ‘I see no fault in saying that the “rain falling with the darkness” (furikurasu ame) is something one can see on the bush clover’s roots during the day, but only hear at night. As for the Right, “Across the fields the autumn wind brushes the fronds” (nobe no aki kaze sue wakete) is superb in construction. In the final line “whisper of showers” (murasame no koe) , though, “whisper” is an excessively direct personalisation, is it not? The spirit of the Left’s “on the silver grass” must win.”
Left.
古の人を聞くにも秋の夜の窓打つ雨はさびしかりけり
inishie no
hito o kiku ni mo
aki no yo no
mado utsu ame wa
sabishikarikeri |
Long ago
The ladies, I hear,
On autumn nights
With rain beating ‘gainst the window
Were lonely, as am I… |
Lord Kanemune.
367
Right.
軒近き松の風だにある物を窓打ち添ふる秋の村雨
noki chikaki
matsu no kaze dani
aru mono o
mado uchisouru
aki no murasame |
Close by my eaves,
Waiting, with the wind through the pines,
Striking,
The window, beaten by
Autumn showers. |
Ietaka.
368
The Right complain, ‘In the Left’s poem, the poet seems to hear of the appearance of “long ago ladies”, but what is it that he hears – one would usually expect more, would one not?’ The Left have no criticisms of the Right’s poem.
Shunzei broadly agrees: ‘The Left’s poem, in saying “ladies, I hear” would certainly seem to be recollecting the concubines at the court of Xuanzong, but I wonder if this is clearly enough expressed in the poem? The Right’s final section “The window, beaten by Autumn showers” (mado uchisouru aki no murasame) sounds particularly fine. Thus, the Right wins.’
Left.
秋の夜は窓打つ雨に夢覺めて軒端にまさる袖の玉水
aki no yo wa
mado utsu ame ni
yume samete
nokiba ni masaru
sode no tamamizu |
On an autumn night
Rain beating ‘gainst my widow
Wakes me from my dreams,
Falling from the eaves,
Yet many more are the droplets on my sleeves. |
Lord Ari’ie.
365
Right.
見る夢も窓打つ雨に驚きて枕に秋の哀をぞ知る
miru yume mo
mado utsu ame ni
odorokite
makura ni aki no
aware o zo shiru |
Dreaming,
Rain beating ‘gainst my window
Starts me awake;
Upon my lonely pillow, autumn’s
Sharp sadness do I feel. |
The Provisional Master of the Empress’ Household Office.
366
Neither team has any criticisms of the other’s poem this round.
Shunzei agrees: ‘Both poems are superb in both style and form and, in addition, the initial sections are generally similar, but in terms of the concluding sections, the Left’s is slightly deeper. Thus, the Left wins.’
Left.
行方無き秋の思ひぞせかれぬる村雨なびく雲の遠方
yukue naki
aki no omoi zo
sekarenuru
murasame nabiku
kumo no ochikata |
My endless
Thoughts of autumn
Have been interrupted by
The showers streaming from
The far-off clouds. |
Lord Sada’ie.
363
Right.
日に添へて秋の涼しさ集ふ也時雨はまだし夕暮の雨
hi ni soete
aki no suzushisa
tsudounari
shigure wa madashi
yūgure no ame |
With the setting of the sun
Comes the cool of
Autumn;
‘Tis not yet shower season,
Yet evening brings the rain… |
Nobusada.
364
The Right complain that the Left’s ‘far-off clouds’ (kumo no ochikata) is ‘difficult to understand’. The Left initially query the meaning of madashi, and then say it’s ‘not a good expression’.
Shunzei states, ‘The gentlemen of the Right have stated that “far-off clouds” is difficult to grasp, and this is certainly the case. Moreover, it is difficult to determine the voice of the speaker here. Madashi is unproblematic. It’s usual sense in poetry is “not yet” – as can be seen from the Kokinshu’s “were I to hear words yet unspoken”. The final section of the Right’s poem is particularly charming. It must win.’
Left.
雨降れど笠取山の鹿の音はなかなかよその袖濡らしけり
ame furedo
kasatoriyama no
shika no ne wa
nakanaka yoso no
sode nurashikeri |
Though rain falls on
Kasatori Mountain, with an umbrella in my hand, it is
The stag’s call,
Distant, that
Has left dampness on my sleeves… |
Lord Suetsune.
361
Right.
さらぬだに秋のあはれは絶えせぬに心細さを添ふる雨かな
saranu dani
aki no aware wa
taesenu ni
kokorobososa o
souru ame kana |
It should not be so, yet
Autumn wrenches at my heart, so
I cannot bear it;
Loneliness
Brought on by the rain… |
Lord Tsune’ie.
362
The Right have two criticisms of the Left’s poem: ‘The initial five syllables have no link with the end of the poem. Furthermore, we question the use of “distant” (yoso). The Left merely say that they find the Right’s poem ‘unremarkable’.
Shunzei broadly agrees: ‘The lack of linkage in the Left’s poem is as stated – although it starts “Though rain falls on” (ame furedo), it seems as if the poet’s sleeves were wet by the stag’s call, and thus the poem does not appear to be composed on the theme of “rain”. Whatever the formal faults of the Right’s poem, it is composed on “Autumn Rain”. It must win.’
'Simply moving and elegant'