ima sara ni fushi mo sadamenu shika no ne yo ko no ha no kazu no tsumoru goto ni
At around this time, With his bedding undecided, The stag bells out! Just as the leaves’ from on the trees numbers Do mount up…
Shō 75
Right (Win)
木葉ちる夜半の嵐の月影に心すみてや鹿も鳴くらん
ko no ha chiru yowa no arashi no tsukikage ni kokoro sumite ya shika mo nakuran
Leaves scatter from the trees In the midnight storm In the moonlight From his wild and earthy thoughts Does the stag, too, cry out?
Nagatsuna 76
The Left’s ‘just as the leaves from on the trees numbers do mount up’ at night and so forth, appears to be a novel style, yet the Right poem sounds more gorgeous, so it wins.
Here’s the second video on the topics and images used in waka on the season of winter. This one covers: Topography (winter mountains, ice and icicles); Life(style) (being sealed in winter, blankets and bedding); and Events (the ceremony for the Recitation of the Buddhas’ Names (butsumyōe 仏名会)).
The Right state: the Left’s poem seems fine. The Left state: we find no faults to mention.
In judgement: the Right’s ‘the path of dreams gets more distant’ (yumeji mo tōki) sounds elegant, but the Left’s poem has already been assessed as ‘fine’ in the comments by the gentlemen of the Right. This round I will leave the judgement in their hands and make the Left the winner.
The Gentlemen of the Right state: why have the ‘bell’ (kane) here? The Gentlemen of the Left state: the Right’s poem has no faults.
Shunzei’s judgement: the Left’s poem, having the poet buried beneath his bedclothes, which alter the sound of the bell recollects a composition on the ‘bell at the Temple of Bequeathed Love’. Nevertheless, the Gentlemen of the Right have asked, ‘Why have the bell here?’, and they are right to do so. The Right’s poem, on how the feeling of cold on a chill, snowy night vanishes briefly, exactly conveys the ‘bedding’s effect’ (fusuma no shirushi). Thus, it is without fault. I must make the Right the winner.
The Gentlemen of the Right state: we wonder about the use of ‘bedding of little point’ (fusuma yoso ni)? The Gentlemen of the Left state: we find no faults in the Right’s poem.
Shunzei’s judgement: Both poems are on ‘bedding’ (fusuma), with the Left saying that it seems of little purpose at a gathering around a charcoal fire-pit, and the Right, that it seems to be thin when the cold comes. So, we go from it doing no good, even if you do have it on, to it being pointless when you are happy and warm. What point are these poems trying to make, I wonder? The Left should win.
