Tag Archives: bedroom door

Love IV: 27

Left.
來ぬ床は明る頼みもなき物をひまや白むと待ぞあやしき

konu toko wa
akuru tanomi mo
naki mono o
hima ya shiromu to
matsu zo ayashiki
An unvisited bed,
Of light has
No hope, but
Brightening through my bedroom door
Is what I am awaiting – how strange…

Lord Kanemune.
833

Right (Win).
頼めつゝ更けゆく夜半を歎きても鳥の音をやは待あかしつる

tanometsutsu
fukeyuku yowa o
nagekitemo
tori no ne o ya wa
matsu akashitsuru
Time and again he’d say he’d come, and
Through the deepening night
I’d grieve, but
Is it now for the first bird call
That I have awaited the dawn?

Lord Takanobu.
834

The Right state: ‘Unvisited bed’ (konu toko) sounds as if it is the bed doing the visiting. The Left state: we do not feel that the Right’s poem expresses its intended sense fully.

In judgement: I feel it sounds better to say that ‘through the deepening night’ (fukeyuku yowa) ‘is it now for the first bird call’ (tori no ne o ya wa) that one waits, rather than that one is in ‘an unvisited bed’ (konu toko) waiting for ‘brightening through my bedroom door’ (hima ya shiromu).