ogi no ha wa kureyuku kaze ni otosu nari wa ga matsu hito no kakaramashikaba
The cogon grass fronds With the falling twilight breezes Sound out, though Were it the man I’m waiting for It would be better…
Major Controller of the Left Tametaka 31
Right
逢ふことはかた野にしげる荻の葉の音をばたつな秋ははつとも
au koto wa katano ni shigeru ogi no ha no oto oba tatsu na aki wa hatsu tomo
Our meeting, so hard: On the hillside thickly growing, O, cogon grass fronds Do not make a sound! For with autumn’s end I have had enough, yet..
Horikawa, Court Lady to Her Highness 32
I feel that the emotions encompassed by the sound of the wind in ‘Were it the man I’m waiting for / It would be better’ sounded more striking than ‘On the hillside thickly growing, / O, cogon grass fronds’.
[1] Fujiwara no Kiyotada 藤原清正 (?-953): one of the Thirty-Six Poetic Immortals and a minor courtier. As well as being included in Shinkokinshū, this poem is also listed in Wakan rōeishū (II: 453), Kiyotada’s personal collection, Kiyotada-shū (89) and also the personal collection of Fujiwara no Tadami 藤原忠見, Tadami-shū (143). While Wakan rōeishū simply gives the topic of the poem as ‘Cranes’, the personal collections provide more information. Tadami states that the poem was ‘Sent to the Shōni Palace Lady to present in his place when he was of about the age to be admitted to the Courtier’s Hall and had become Governor of Kii’ making the waka a plea for further advancement at court. Kiyotada himself simply says ‘When I had become Governor of Kii and had not yet been permitted to enter the Courtier’s Hall.’ Tanaka and Akase (1992, 502) note that Kiyotada was appointed Governor of Kii while still a Chamberlain at Sixth Rank, when this was usually a post held by someone of Junior Fifth Rank, Lower Grade, the lowest rank at which a man would be permitted to enter the Courtier’s Hall (tenjō no ma 殿上間) and have direct contact with the emperor. The poem is, thus, simultaneously, an expression of gratitude for imperial favour (the ‘heavenly wind’) to him (‘the crane’) which has made him Governor of Ki – the province where Fukei is located, and a plea that he be allowed above ‘the clouds’ (into the Courtier’s Hall), which is subtly laced with resentment (‘Why haven’t I had the promotion in rank which this post would normally bring?’)!
sakura saku yoshino no yama no yamakaze ni fumoto o komete hana niourashi
Cherries bloom In the mountains of Yoshino, where The mountain breezes Make even the foothills Aglow with blossom.
Tomoshige 31
Right (Win)
花の色はあまりにけりなつくばねのこのもかのもにかかる白雲
hana no iro wa amarinikeri na tsukubane no kono mo kano mo ni kakaru shirakumo
The blossoms’ hues Have overflowed[1] The peak of Tsukuba— Near and far, both, Draped with clouds of white.[2]
Dharma Master Zenshin 32
The Left’s poem has no faults worth mentioning and, furthermore, is not particularly remarkable. The Right’s poem refers to the peak of Tsukuba; while this is generally thought of as a mountain, it is not necessarily limited to mountains and there are, I think, a bunch of instances where it means a place with lots of trees; however, because here it also conveys the conception of mountains, from the use of pleasant poetic technique, the Right should win.
[1] Zenshin is clearly referencing Ono no Komachi’s famous: Topic unknown. 花の色はうつりにけりないたづらにわが身世にふるながめせしまに hana no iro wa / utsurinikeri na / itazura ni / wa ga mi yo ni furu / nagame seshi ma ni ‘The blossoms’ hues / Have already faded away, / While in idle thoughts / My life goes by, / As I watch the long rains fall.’ (KKS II: 113).
[2] An allusive variation on: Eastern poem: a poem from Hitachi. 筑波嶺のこのもかのもに影はあれど君がみかげにます陰はなし tsukuba ne no / kono mo kano mo ni / kage aredo / kimi ga mikage ni / masu kage wa nashi ‘On the peak of Tsukuba / Here and there / Lie shadows, yet / To your shadow, my love (my Lord) / They cannot compare!’ Anonymous (KKS XX: 1095).
