ほととぎすまつよながらのさみだれにしげきあやめのねにぞ鳴きぬる
| hototogisu matsu yo nagara no samidare ni shigeki ayame no ne ni zo nakunaru | While the cuckoo I await one night In a summer shower, Lush as sweet-flag Roots grow my sobbing cries! |
530
Tag Archives: cuckoo
Kinkai wakashū 529
Kinkai wakashū 528
Eien narabō uta’awase 14
Round Seven
Left
ほととぎすひとこゑなきてすぎぬれどしたふ心ぞちぢにありける
| hototogisu hitokoe nakite suginuredo shitau kokoro zo chiji ni arikeru | The cuckoo A single call cried out, and Passed me by, yet Missing him, my heart He left in a thousand, thousand pieces. |
Lady Kazusa
27
Right (Win)
ほととぎすくものたえまにもる月のかげほのかにもなきわたるかな
| hototogisu kumo no taema ni moru tsuki no kage honoka ni mo nakiwataru kana | The cuckoo, as From a gap between the clouds Drips the moon’s Light, faintly Calls on! |
Lady Shikibu
28
Both poems are of the same quality.
The Left’s poem really makes me wonder why that should be the case, with the final ‘he left’ putting me in mind of someone in court dress who has forgotten to put on his shoes! The Right’s poem appears rather more bright than it needs to be. Furthermore, if one says that the ‘light is faint’ then shouldn’t the moon be hidden by the clouds? It’s vague over that, but if there were a prior poem as precedent, then it would be a good composition. For the present, I will make it the winner.
Eien narabō uta’awase 12
Round Five
Left
ほととぎすはなたちばなにやどるともなのらざりせばいかでしらまし
| hototogisu hanatachibana ni yadoru to mo nanorazariseba ikade shiramashi | The cuckoo Among the orange blossom May make his lodging, but If he fails to announce himself How would one ever know? |
Controller’s Graduate
23
Right
さよなかにみふねの山のほととぎすほのかになきてすぎぬなるかな
| sayo naka ni mifune no yama no hototogisu honoka ni nakite suginu naru kana | In the midst of a night so brief Upon Mifune Mountain, A cuckoo, Faintly crying, Has passed his time! |
Kerin’in Graduate
24
It is entirely impossible to decide between these two poems.
Neither of these poems is particularly bad. The Left flows smoothly and is elegant; the Right starts with ‘Mifune Mountain’ and then continues with ‘faintly’, which certainly does not lack skill. Thus, I would say that these should tie, although this will doubtless be a source of some dissatisfaction to the writer of the Right.
Eien narabō uta’awase 11
Round Four
Left (Win)
あたらしきただひとこゑをほととぎすいかなるさとになきとよむらん
| atarashiki tada hitokoe o hototogisu ika naru sato ni nakitoyomuran | How fine Simply is your single call, O, cuckoo, What might be the estate which Resounds with your song? |
Cell of the Fragrant Elephant
21
Right
いかばかりあはれならましほととぎすかくまたれてしきなかましかば
| ika bakari aware naramashi hototogisu kaku matareteshi kinakamashikaba | How deeply Moving might it be? For a cuckoo To have long awaited and He then comes to call… |
Cell of Everlasting Truth
22
In regard to the Left’s poem, in the Poetry Match held in Engi 3, there was a compostion which went ‘Until in Kataoka / The plains of Ashita / Does resound / The mountain cuckoos / Are singing now!’[i] When this was recited, His Majesty laughed and so it was not read aloud all the way to the end. The expression ‘resound’ is poor. The diction of the Right’s poem is terribly stilted and really doesn’t trip off the tongue, but strictly speaking it has no particular faults. I make it the winner.
The Left’s poem seems move my heart to the greatest degree. However, it really is the case that ‘resounding with song’ is something which happens after hearing it—that’s when it would seem right to compose ‘come resound with song’. It’s extremely imprudent to guess and say that somewhere ‘might resound with song’ without hearing it. And yet, there is the conception of there being times, too, when the cuckoo doesn’t sing. In the Right’s poem ‘To have long awaited’ lacks harmony, and I would want there to be a break there, so I should say that the Left wins.
[i] This poem is Teiji’in uta’awase 48.
Eien narabō uta’awase 10
Round Three
Left (Win)
さみだれにぬるともゆかむほととぎすふたこゑきなくさとはありやと
| samidare ni nuru to mo yukamu hototogisu futakoe kinaku sato wa ari ya to | By the summer showers We will be drenched, yet let’s away! For the cuckoo Has come to sing and sing again At that estate, perchance… |
Retired from the world
19
Right
さ月やみくらくはくらくほととぎすこゑはかくれぬ物にぞありける
| satsuki yami kuraku wa kuraku hototogisu koe wa kakurenu mono ni zo arikeru | In the Fifth Month’s gloomy Darkness deep, The cuckoo Is unable to conceal his cry With anything at all! |
Senior Assistant Minister Past Lecturer
20
Both Left and Right are workmanlike poems with little evidence of thought. With that being said, however, the conclusion of the Right’s poem is identical to that of a famous work by the Horikawa Minister. That poem is ‘The River Sao: / Mist rises, and from beyond / Come plover cries, / Their calls uninterrupted / By anything.’[1] And the Right here is, at the very least, extraordinarily redolent of it! Still, I feel the Left does linger in the heart.
The Left’s poem is not particularly remarkable, yet it has no faults worth mentioning. It doesn’t contain any distasteful expressions and resembles familiar compositions. The poem of the Right’s ‘darkness deep’ sounds like something said by a black-hearted scoundrel—I don’t feel it’s poetic diction at all! In addition, on the matter of the concluding ‘unable to conceal his cry’,[i] well, this appears in a range of earlier poems, as does ‘his cry uninterrupted’, so one should be hesitant about using it. I make the faultless Left the winner.
[1] Composed on plovers for a poetry competition in Eishō 4 [1050]. 佐保川の霧のあなたに鳴く千鳥聲は隔てぬ物にぞ有ける saogawa no / kiri no anata ni / naku chidori / koe wa hedatenu / mono ni zo arikeru ‘The River Sao: / Mist rises, and from beyond / Come plover cries, / Their calls uninterrupted / By anything.’ The Horikawa Minister of the Right [Fujiwara no Yorimune] (GSIS VI: 388)
[i] The only surviving example of this usage pre-dating this match is: Written on the edge of a folding screen by a painting of geese flying in the clouds, when His Majesty ordered a celebration for the Junior Principal Handmaid. 白雲の中にまがひてゆく雁もこゑはかくれぬ物にざりける shirakumo no / naka ni magaite / yuku kari mo / koe wa kakurenu / mono ni zarikeru ‘Within the clouds, so white, / Entangled / Goes a goose, / Unable to conceal his cry / With anything at all!’ Fujiwara no Kanesuke (Kanesuke-shū 48). There is also one further example in later poetry: Composed and sent when he heard that Inspector Kinmichi had had a number of people compose poems on the bush warbler at his residence. 春霞たちへだつれど鶯の声はかくれぬものとしらずや harugasumi / tachihedatsuredo / uguisu no / koe wa kakurenu / mono to shirazu ya ‘The haze of spring / Arising, interferes, yet / The warbler / Is unable to conceal his cry— / I wonder if he know it?’ Former Consultant Tsunemori (GYS I: 50)
Kinkai wakashū 509
Eien narabō uta’awase 09
Round Two
Left
をちかたやくも井の山のほととぎすあまつよそにもなきわたるかな
| ochikata ya kumoi no yama no hototogisu ama tsu yoso ni mo nakiwataru kana | From the distant Mount within the clouds A cuckoo In yonder heavens Sings his song! |
Lord Saburō
17
Right
ほととぎすしのだのもりのしのびねをたづねざりせばいかできかまし
| hototogisu shinoda no mori no shinobine o tazunezariseba ikade kikamashi | A cuckoo In Shinoda’s sacred grove Lets out a hushed cry; Had I not come to visit here, How might I have heard it? |
Ushigimi
18
In regards the poem of the Left’s ‘from the distant’ and what follows, extremely recently and colloquially, at the Nakatomi purification ceremony it seems there was a composition, ‘in the distance, below the trees so lush’. This diction is contrary to the expected style of waka and something which occurs only extremely rarely. Truly, one does not compose using such diction in a poetry match. The poem of the Right has nothing of interest about it, yet it also lack faults to mention, so it wins.
This round, neither poem appears bad. The Left has a novel style, while the Right seems cliched, but its expression is smooth. I wonder if we could see these as a tie.
Eien narabō uta’awase 08
Cuckoos
Round One
Left
ほととぎすまきのとばかりまちつれどなかであけぬる夏のしののめ
| hototogisu maki no to bakari machitsuredo nakade akenuru natsu no shinonome | O, cuckoo, Briefly by my door of cedar wood Did I await you, yet No song, at all, brightened This summer edge of dawn. |
Lord Dainagon
15
Right (Win)
ほととぎすなくうれしさをつつめどもそらにはこゑもとまらざりけり
| hototogisu naku ureshisa o tsutsumedomo sora ni wa koe mo tomarazarikeri | At the cuckoo’s Song, my joy To hold fast did I try, yet In the skies, his cry Lingered not. |
Lord Chūnagon
16
The Left’s poem, after careful consideration, has a graceful style. The diction of the Right’s poem is superb, and there is an excess of conception. Reading and reciting these leaves my aged heart at a loss. Thus, they tie.
In the Left’s poem, ‘briefly’ is an expression which means ‘just for a short time’, I think, and thus the sentiments are lacking. Saying ‘brightened…edge of dawn’ sounds as if the poet has only begun waiting at daybreak. One does see, apparently, a number of poems in prior matches where the poet has not heard the cuckoo. Nevertheless, I do wonder about whether this is appropriate, given that poems where the cuckoo has been heard are faultless. The Right’s poem is not that good, but it is poetic. Thus, it has to win.
