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Poetry Competition in Six Hundred Rounds

Autumn III: 16

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Left.

祝ひ置きてなを長月と契かな今日摘む菊の末の白露

iwaiokite
nao nagatsuki to
chigiri kana
kyō tsumu kiku no
sue no shiratsuyu		 Celebrating:
To have yet more long life,
Is the vow, with
White dewdrops from the tips
Of today’s plucked chrysanthemums…

Lord Sada’ie.

451

Right (Win).

君が經ん代を長月のかざしとて今日折り得たる白菊の花

kimi ga hen
yo o nagatsuki no
kazashi tote
kyō orietaru
shiragiku no hana		 That my Lord will pass through
Ages more, for the Longest Month
Our garland will be
Picked on this very day,
White chrysanthemum blooms!

Lord Takanobu.

452

Neither team can find any fault with the other’s poem this round.

Shunzei’s judgement: The Left’s poem is excellent in both diction and overall configuration [sugata kotoba yū narubeshi]. Although the Right’s fine phrase [shūku] ‘picked on this very day’ (kyō orietaru) is somewhat archaic [koto furite] and I am unable to appreciate it, the Left’s poem, however, sounds as if it were a poem praying for one’s own long life. The Right, though, celebrates for one’s Lord, and so must win.

Poetry Competition in Six Hundred Rounds

Autumn II: 11

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Left (Tie).

物思はでかゝる露やは袖に置く眺めてけりな秋の夕暮

mono’omoi wa de
kakaru tsuyu ya wa
sode ni oku
nagametekerina
aki no yūgure		 Without deep thought
Would such dewdrops
Fall upon my sleeves?
No, my gaze has, indeed, been lost
Upon this autumn evening…

A Servant Girl.

381

Right (Tie).

さてもさはいかにかすべき身の憂さを思果つれば秋の夕暮

sate mo sa wa
ika ni kasubeki
mi no usa o
omoihatsureba
aki no yūgure		 And so
How should I escape
From my misery?
I thought t’was done and yet
Am faced with a lonely autumn evening…

Nobusada.

382

Both teams feel the other’s poem is ‘most fine’.

Shunzei’s judgement: Both poems take the topic of ‘Autumn evenings’ and present one type of emotional import before reversing it, making it difficult to judge between them. It would seem arbitrary to assign a winner and loser between such phrases as the Left’s initial section ‘Would such dewdrops fall upon my sleeves?’ (kakaru tsuyu ya wa sode ni oku) and the Right’s final section ‘I thought t’was done and yet am faced with a lonely autumn evening…’ (omoihatsureba aki no yūgure). Thus, the round ties.

Poetry Competition in Six Hundred Rounds

Autumn II: 10

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Left (Win).

夕さればそゝや下葉も安からで露は袂に荻の上風

yūsareba
soso ya shitaba mo
yasukarade
tsuyu wa tamoto ni
ogi no uwakaze		 When the evening comes,
Rustling underleaves
Are restless;
Dewdrops on the sleeves:
Wind o’er the silver-grass.

Lord Ari’ie.

379

Right.

暮行けば野邊も一つに露滿ちて蟲の音になる庭の淺茅生

kureyukeba
nobe mo hitotsu ni
tsuyu michite
mushi no ne ni naru
niwa no asajū		 When evening falls
The plains, too, are completely
Dew-drenched;
Insects sing from
The cogon grasses in my garden.

Ietaka.

380

The Right remark that ‘it is not clear what the “underleaves” (shitaba) belong to until the end of the poem’. The Left have a number of criticisms: ‘In the Right’s poem, it sounds as if the “cogon grass” (asaji) becomes “insects”. In addition, the topic of this poem is not “Garden Huts”. Furthermore, the poem lacks any expression conveying the emotional overtones of the topic – particularly with “the plains, too, are completely” (nobe mo hitotsu ni).’

Shunzei’s judgement: It is standard expression to begin a poem with ‘underleaves’, when concluding with ‘silver-grass’ as in the Left’s case. However, ‘rustling’ (sosoya) seems unnecessary in this poem. It seems a rather forced interpretation to think the cogon grass is turning into insects, seeing as this is not something that happens in nature. That this is a poem more suited to the topic of ‘Garden Huts’, though, is an unavoidable fault. So, while I cannot be satisfied with the inclusion of ‘rustling’, the final section of this poem is fine. It wins.

Poetry Competition in Six Hundred Rounds

Autumn I: 28

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Left (Win).

萩の葉にかはりし風の秋の聲やがて野分の露砕く也

hagi no ha ni
kawarishi kaze no
aki no koe
yagate nowaki no
tsuyu kudakunari		 Bush clover leaves
Brushed by the breeze
Speak of autumn;
Swift comes the gale,
Scattering dewdrops…

Lord Sada’ie.

355

Right.

靡き行く尾花が末に浪越えて眞野の野分に續く濱風

nabikiyuku
obana ga sue ni
nami koete
mano no nowaki ni
tsuzuku hamakaze		 Streaming
Miscanthus fronds
Wave
At Mano in the gales
Born from breezes off the beaches.

Nobusada.

356

The Left’s ‘speak of autumn’ (aki no koe) and the Right’s ‘born from’ (tsuzuku) are each found unsatisfactory by the opposing team.

Shunzei states, ‘Both the poems of the Left and Right have been found unsatisfactory by a number of modern poets, and is this not reasonable? However, the Left’s “Brushed by the breeze speak of autumn” (kawarishi kaze no aki no koe) is particularly fine. The Right’s “born from” is not a turn of phrase which could be considered pleasant; starting with “streaming” (nabikiyuku) and then continuing to “breezes off the beaches” (hamakaze) which lead to “Mano in the gales” (mano no nowaki ni) suggests an implicit meaning, but the Left’s upper and lower sections are finer. It should win.’

Poetry Competition in Six Hundred Rounds

Autumn I: 23

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Left (Win).

ひとり寢る葦の丸屋の下露に床を傡べて鶉鳴く也

hitori nuru
ashi no maruya no
shimo tsuyu ni
toko o narabete
uzura nakunari		 Sleeping singly
In a reed-roofed hut,
Dripped with dew,
Beside my bed
The quails are crying.

A Servant Girl.

345

Right.

秋風に靡く尾花の夕露や鶉が閨の雨と散るらむ

akikaze ni
nabiku obana no
yūzuyu ya
uzura ga neya no
ame to chiruramu		 In the autumn breeze
Flutter fronds of silvergrass,
Scattering dewdrops
On the quails’ roost –
How like rain…

The Provisional Master of the Empress’ Household Office.

346

The Right state that the Left’s poem has no faults. The Left state that, ‘“On the quails’ roost – how like rain” (uzura ga neya no ame) suggests that this is what it actually is.’

Shunzei disagrees: ‘It is not the case that uzura ga neya no ame definitely implies that it is actually rain, particularly with the scene set by dew on silvergrass. However, “beside my bed” (toko o narabete) is particularly attractive in expression. It should win.’

Poetry Competition in Six Hundred Rounds

Autumn I: 18

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Left (Left).

風渡る淺茅が上の露にだに宿りも果てぬ宵の稲妻

kaze wataru
asaji ga ue no
tsuyu ni dani
yadori mo hatenu
yoi no inazuma		 Brushed by the breeze,
Atop the cogon grass
The dewdrops but
Briefly rest:
Lightning at dusk.

Lord Ari’ie.

335

Right.

眺むれば風吹く野邊の露にだに宿りも果てぬ稲妻の影

nagamureba
kaze fuku nobe no
tsuyu ni dani
yadori mo hatenu
inazuma no kage		 Idly gazing
Across the windblown meadow;
The dewdrops but
Briefly rest:
Lightning’s light.

Ietaka.

336

The Right simply say, ‘The Left’s poem is fine, is it not!’ The Left, however, grumble, ‘We cannot see how the final phrase relates to what has come before.’

Shunzei states, ‘Both poems are remarkably similar in spirit and diction, with the Left concluding “lightning at dusk” (yoi no inazuma) and the Right with “lightning’s light” (inazuma no kage) – is there really much to choose between them? The Left wins.’

Poetry Competition in Six Hundred Rounds

Autumn I: 17

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Left (Win).

はかなしや荒れたる宿のうたゝ寢に稲妻通ふ手枕の露

hakanashi ya
aretaru yado no
utatane ni
inazuma kayou
tamakura no tsuyu		 How brief it was!
In a ruined dwelling
Dozing, when
Lightning crossed
The dewdrops on my pillowing arm…

A Servant Girl.

333

Right.

すだき來し澤の螢は影消てたえだえ宿る宵の稲妻

sudakikoshi
sawa no hotaru wa
kage kiete
taedae yadoru
yoi no inazuma		 All together have
The fireflies above the marsh
Lost their light;
Briefly remaining,
Lightning at the dusk…

Jakuren.

334

The Right state that they have no criticisms of the Left’s poem. The Left wonder about the suitability of fireflies disappearing in the autumn.

Shunzei feels, ‘The Left’s poem is certainly charming in form and expression, but more thought should have been given to the initial phrase “How brief it was!” (hakanashi ya). The Right’s poem, too, is charming, and as for fireflies being a topic for summer poetry alone, in autumn it is acceptable to compose on the failing of their light, is it not? Did not Anjin compose “Fireflies flashing on the palace stairs and gates/Crickets crying from the eaves and tiles”? There is also the example from the Collection of Songs to Sing Aloud of “Seeking cuckoo calls in the dawntime clouds/Innumerable fireflies flit among the autumn grasses”. Still, the Left’s “dewdrops on my pillowing arm” wins, I think.’

Poetry Competition in Six Hundred Rounds

Autumn I: 13

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Left (Win).

影宿す程なき袖の露の上に馴れても疎き宵の稲妻

kage yadosu
hodo naki sode no
tsuyu no ue ni
naretemo utoki
yoi no inazuma		 The light dwells
But for an instant on my sleeves
Where dewdrops rest;
Accustomed to it though I am, how distant is
Lightning in the evening.

Lord Sada’ie.

325

Right.

むば玉の闇をあらはす稲妻も光の程ははかなかりけり

mubatama no
yami o arawasu
inazuma mo
hikari no hodo wa
hakanakarikeri		 Lily-seed
Dark, broken by
Lightning;
The flash,
So brief.

Lord Takanobu.

326

Neither team can find fault with the other’s poem this round.

Shunzei feels, ‘The spirit of “an instant on my sleeves” (hodo naki sode) is particularly fine, is it not? Prefacing “dark, broken by” (yami o arawasu) with “lily-seed” (mubatama no), seems somewhat overblown, and then concluding with “so brief” (hakanakarikeri) contradicts the initial statement. “Lightning in the evening” (yoi no inazuma) should win.’

Poetry Competition in Six Hundred Rounds

Summer II: 30

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Left (Win).

鳴蝉の羽に置く露に秋かけて木陰涼しき夕暮の聲

naru semi no
ha ni oku tsuyu ni
aki kakete
kokage suzushiki
yūkure no koe		 Upon the singing cicadas’
Wings fall dewdrops,
Heralding autumn;
Cool, and shaded by the trees
Are their evening songs…

A Servant Girl.

299

Right.

夏深き杜の梢にかねてより秋をかなしむ蝉の聲かな

natsu fukaki
mori no kozue ni
kanete yori
aki o kanashimu
semi no koe kana		 In the depths of summer
From the forest treetops,
Long before
Autumn, in sadness
Do the cicadas sing.

Jakuren.

300

Neither Left nor Right can find fault with the other’s poem this round.

Shunzei states, ‘It is rather difficult to know a cicada’s mind – as to whether or not it is mourning the coming of autumn long before it arrives. The Left’s “Wings fall dewdrops, heralding autumn” (ha ni oku tsuyu ni aki kakete), is particularly delicate in expression and charming. It must win.’

Poetry Competition in Six Hundred Rounds

Summer I: 12

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Left.

夏草のもとも拂はぬ故郷に露よりうへを風通ふなり

natsu kusa no
moto mo harawanu
furusato ni
tsuyu yori ue o
kaze kayounari		 The summer grasses
Are yet uncut
At this ancient home of mine;
Over the fallen dewdrops,
The sound of gusting wind…

A Servant Girl.

203

Right (Win).

夏草のなかを露けみ分くる野はわが故郷の垣根なりけり

natsu kusa no
naka o tsuyukemi
wakuru no wa
wa ga furusato no
kakine narikeri		 Within the summer grasses
Dewy depths,
Forging ‘cross the plain and
My ancient home’s
Brushwood fence appears.

Nobusada.

204

The Right team query, ‘How is it that the wind can pass “over the fallen dewdrops” (tsuyu yori ue o)?’ The Left content themselves with saying that the Right’s poem is ‘difficult to grasp’.

Shunzei, though, remarks, ‘The Left’s “over the fallen dewdrops” is a wonderfully charming expression. It is the initial “are yet uncut” (moto mo harawanu) which is extremely difficult to understand. The Right’s configuration and diction seem particularly fine [sugata kotoba yoroshiku koso haberumere], though, so it is, just, the winner.’