yama no ha ni ariake no tsuki no nokorazu wa kasumi ni akuru sora o mimashi ya
Upon the mountains’ edge Had the moon at dawn Not lingered, then On the brightening, hazy Sky would I have turned my gaze?
Shō 11
Right
朝戸あけてながめなれたる明ぼのの霞ばかりに春を知るかな
asa to akete nagamenaretaru akebono no kasumi baraki ni haru o shiru kana
With morn, opening my door, and Accustomed to gazing At the dawn The haze is all that Tells me ‘tis spring![1]
Nagatsuna, Ranked without Office 12
The Left’s poem has ‘would I wish to see the skies brightening with haze’, which does not seem bad, but the initial line drop ‘dawn’ and the latter part ‘brightening with haze’ which is a bit dubious; the Right’s poem really has nothing special about it. The poems are comparable and tie.
asa tode no
kimi ga ayupi wo
nurasu tuyu para
payaku oki
idetutu ware mo
mosuso nurasana
In the morning, opening the door
Bound up, your belt
Will be drenched by the dewy fields;
Swiftly rising
I, too, shall venture out and
Soak my skirt-hem…