shigure ni wa iori mo sasaji kusamakura oto kiku tote mo nurenu sode ka wa
Caught in a shower, I’d not erect my hut, for Upon a grassy pillow Listening to the sound, still Would my sleeves be soaked!
Tsunemasa 73
Right (Win)
たまもふくいそやがしたにもるしぐれたびねのそでもしほたれよとや
tamamo fuku isoya ga shita ni moru shigure tabine no sode mo shiotareyo to ya
Thatched with gemweed is My roof upon the rocky shore, beneath it Drips a shower, so My sleeves, as I doze upon my travels, Wet with the salty tides – should I say that?
Nakatsuna 74
The Left wonders whether his sleeves would be soaked, listening to the sound of a shower after abandoning all thought of a hut and grassy pillow—this seems extremely charming, but the configuration and sequencing of the Right, beginning with ‘thatched with gemweed’ and continuing with ‘my sleeves, as I doze upon my travels, / Wet with salty tides’, is extremely moving, isn’t it! Thus I have to award a win, once more, to the poem of the Right.
The Right state that they have no criticisms of the Left’s poem. The Left wonder about the suitability of fireflies disappearing in the autumn.
Shunzei feels, ‘The Left’s poem is certainly charming in form and expression, but more thought should have been given to the initial phrase “How brief it was!” (hakanashi ya). The Right’s poem, too, is charming, and as for fireflies being a topic for summer poetry alone, in autumn it is acceptable to compose on the failing of their light, is it not? Did not Anjin compose “Fireflies flashing on the palace stairs and gates/Crickets crying from the eaves and tiles”? There is also the example from the Collection of Songs to Sing Aloud of “Seeking cuckoo calls in the dawntime clouds/Innumerable fireflies flit among the autumn grasses”. Still, the Left’s “dewdrops on my pillowing arm” wins, I think.’
The Right wonder ‘whether “Trickling water beside my drifting pillow” (shimizu no ukimakura) is something that’s likely to occur?’ while the Right counter, ‘and what of “Among summer nights’ number I’ll not count this one” (natsu no yo no kazu ni mo ireji) – it seems somewhat excessive an expression.’ Shunzei states testily, ‘The gentlemen of the Right’s questioning of “drifting pillow” (ukimakura) is absurd, for has there not long been the image of pillowing on a flow? The Right’s “Among summer nights’ number I’ll not count this one”, unavoidably incurs criticism from the gentlemen of the Left. In addition, the Left’s final line is most fine. It should win.’
Both teams say they don’t think much thought has gone into the other’s poem.
Shunzei takes the opportunity here to show off his erudition, saying, ‘In the Right’s poem, doing such a thing as many times as Zai Yu would be appallingly lazy, would it not? The Left’s “yearning for dusk” (kurashiwazurau), however, is a superb expression. I must make them the winner.”
