Love on Parting 別恋
さひのくまはなつ日ぐれはわかるともしづのみぎりにあらざらめかは
| sahinokuma hanatsu higure wa wakaru tomo shizu no migiri ni arazarame ka wa | From Sahinokuma Spreads the sunset dusk; It parts us, yet A humble rain-stone Seems absent, does it not? |
Toshiyori
Tag Archives: dust
Love IX: 28
Left
君とわが寝しさむしろの塵なれば形見がてらにうちも払はず
| kimi to wa ga neshi samushiro no chiri nareba katami ga tera ni uchi mo harawazu | My love and I Did sleep upon these blankets, so Even the dust there Is a memento – I cannot brush it away! |
Lord Suetsune
1135
Right (Win)
ひとり寝の床のさ筵朽ちにけり涙は袖をかぎるのみかは
| hitorine no toko no samushiro kuchinikeri namida wa sode o kagiru nomi ka wa | Sleeping solo on My bed’s blankets, They have rotted away; Tears on more than sleeves Have that effect… |
Ietaka
1136
The Right state: ‘did sleep’ (neshi) is particularly unimpressive. The Left state: ‘more than sleeves’ (sode o kagiru) is, perhaps, over-definite.
In judgement: in the Left’s poem, despite ‘did sleep upon these blankets’ (neshi samushiro) referring to something which definitely exists, it still sounds as if there is not much poetic expression in the poem. ‘Is a memento’ (katami ga tera) fails to resemble ‘for blossom viewing’ (hanami ga tera). As for the Right’s poem, I certainly would not say that ‘tears on more than sleeves have that effect’ (namida wa sode o kagiru nomi ka wa) is over-definite. It is somewhat difficult to make out on hearing, but the configuration is poetic, indeed, so the Right should win, it seems.
Love IX: 26
Left
君ゆへにわれさへうとく成はてゝ塵のみゐたる床のさむしろ
| kimi yue ni ware sae utoku narihatete chiri nomi itaru toko no samushiro |
For him So distant have I Become; Dust alone gathers On the matting of my bed. |
Lord Ari’ie
1131
Right (Win)
さむしろも哀とや思ふあらましに來ぬ君待つとうち拂ふをば
| samushiro mo aware to ya omou aramashi ni konu kimi matsu to uchiharau o ba |
Does my matting, too, Feel pity, I wonder? As waiting for one who never comes I sweep it clean… |
The Supernumerary Master of the Empress’ Household Office
1132
The Right state: the Left’s poem is not bad. The Left state: the final section of the Right’s poem is unsatisfactory.
In judgement: Both poems use ‘matting’ (samushiro), and the Left’s is not bad in form, but the theme of a person who has grown to hate their own bed so much that dust alone gathers there is completely different from that of the previous round – what sort of lover might they have had, one wonders! Although I wonder about the final section of the Right’s poem, it does not seem to regret the overall conception of love and so wins the round.
Love IV: 30
Left (Win).
見し人のねくたれ髪の面影に涙かきやる小夜の手枕
| mishi hito no nekutare kami no omokage ni namida kakiyaru sayo no tamakura |
One I once loved: Her sleep-tangled hair Comes to mind, and My tears drop upon My pillowed arm this night. |
A Servant Girl.
839
Right.
見せばやな夜床に積もる塵をのみあらましごとに拂ふ氣色を
| miseba ya na yodoko ni tsumoru chiri o nomi aramashi goto ni harau keshiki o |
Hoping to see him, From my bed the piled Dust at least, Wishing it would be, Sweeping away – that’s me! |
Nobusada.
838
Left and Right both state there are no faults to indicate.
In judgement: even though both the Left’s ‘pillowed arm this night’ (sayo no tamakura) and the Right’s ‘dusty bed’ (yodoko no chiri) are elegant, the combination of ‘my tears drop upon my pillowed arm this night’ (namida kakiyaru sayo no tamakura) is particularly moving. The Left should win.