恨みわびまたじと思ふゆふべだに猶山のはに月はいでにけり
| uramiwabi mataji to omou yūbe dani nao yama no ha ni tsuki wa idenikeri | Lonely and hating him, ‘I’ll wait no more,’ I think, but Even on such an evening, Still from the mountain’s edge The moon has appeared—will he… |
520
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Kinkai wakashū 519
Eien narabō uta’awase 17
Round Three
Left (Win)
いかにしてあきはひかりのまさるらんおなじみかさの山のはの月
| ika ni shite aki wa hikari no masaruran onaji mikasa no yama no ha no tsuki | Why is it that In autumn your light Should be best of all? Though always upon Mikasa Mountain’s edge you rest, O moon… |
Retired from the world
33
Right
秋のよはくもるといへどこと月のさやけきよりもさやけかりけり
| aki no yo wa kumoru to iedomo koto tsuki no sayakeki yori mo sayakarikeri | On an autumn night Cloudy it may be, yet Compared to another moon’s Brightness, ‘tis still More bright. |
Senior Assistant Minister Past Lecturer
34
Both the configuration and diction of the Left’s poem seem comprehensible. The poem of the Right’s use of ‘moon’ is dubious and blameworthy. Thus, the Left wins.
The poem of the Left doesn’t sound bad. I feel it has a well-trodden ending for a poem and it reminds me of the old line ‘what is this light’[1]—it’s extremely charming. In the Right’s poem, I wonder if ‘another moon’ might be referring to the calendar month, but listening to it, it really does sound as if there are two moons in the sky! Furthermore, the poem lacks fluency and is further case of a hasty retreat from the topic, isn’t it. It’s an excess of technique to say that the autumn moon is not inferior to any other, even if it’s covered with cloud.
[1] Composed for the Palace Poetry Match held on the 10th day of the Eighth Month, Kanna 1. いつもみる月ぞとおもへどあきのよはいかなるかげをそふるなるらん itsumo miru / tsuki zo to omoedo / aki no yo wa / ika naru kage o / sourunaruran ‘Always, do I see / The moon, I thought, yet / On an autumn night / What is this light / That trails over all?’ Fujiwara no Nagayoshi (GSIS IV: 256)
Kinkai wakashū 516
Naidaijin-ke uta’awase 32
Round Eight
Left (T – Tie; M – Win)
山のはにはつかの月のはつはつにみしばかりにやかくは恋しき
| yama no ha ni hatsuka no tsuki no hatsuhatsu ni mishi bakari ni ya kaku wa koishiki | By the mountains’ edge The Twentieth’s moon Just for a moment Did I simply see, so how Am I so in love? |
Lord Morikata
63
Right
恋すてふ皆人ごとにとひみばやいと我ばかりあらじとぞおもふ
| koisu chō mina hito goto ni toimiba ya ito ware bakari araji to zo omou | Saying they are in love— To all those folk Would I enquire, for Surely, I, alone Do not endure such feelings? |
Lord Nobutada
64
Toshiyori states: I may be mistaken, but I get the feeling the first poem resembles an earlier work, with only the ending changed somewhat. The second poem sounds stilted. They are of the same quality.
Mototoshi states: the poem of Left lacks originality, being based earlier poems from the emergence ‘the Twentieth’s moon’ at the beginning, then continuing with ‘for coarse cloth a bobbin turning’ and then finally ‘here at Isonokami, in the ancient’ at the end, yet this is more poetic than ‘To all those folk’, so this is still win for the Left.
Daikōtaigōgū no suke taira no tsunemori-ason ke uta’awase 32
Round Eight
Left (Win)
月影をまつとをしむと秋の夜はふたたび山の端こそつらけれ
| tsukikage o matsu to oshimu to aki no yo wa futatabi yama no ha koso tsurakere | Moonlight A’waiting brings regret On autumn nights— Twice the mountains’ Edge do I hate so! |
Sadanaga
63
Right
吹きはらふ月のあたりの雲みれば春はいとひし風ぞうれしき
| fukiharau tsuki no atari no kumo mireba haru wa itoishi kaze zo ureshiki | Blown away From round the moon The clouds I see, so Hated in spring The wind fills me with joy! |
Koreyuki
64
The Right seems to be saying that clouds are blown away from round the moon, so it sounds as if the diction is reversed. Overall, it lacks soul. While the Left has an archaic conception, it should win.
Daikōtaigōgū daijin kiyosuke-ason ke uta’awase 17
Round Seventeen
Left
夜もすがらをばすて山の月をみて昔にかよふ我がこころかな
| yomosugara obasuteyama no tsuki o mite mukashi kayou wa ga kokoro kana | All night long At Mount Obasute Gazing upon the moon— Drifting back to days gone by Goes my heart! |
Lord Kiyosuke
33
Right (Win)
山のはに雲のよこぎるよひのまは出でても月ぞ猶またれける
| yama no ha ni kumo no yokogiru yoi no ma wa idete mo tsuki zo nao matarekeru | Along the mountains’ edge Trail clouds Throughout the night, so Even as it rises, the moon I am yet awaiting! |
Atsuyori
34
Kinkai wakashū 127
Entō ōn’uta’awase 6
Left (Tie)
山のはに有明の月の残らずは霞にあくる空をみましや
| yama no ha ni ariake no tsuki no nokorazu wa kasumi ni akuru sora o mimashi ya | Upon the mountains’ edge Had the moon at dawn Not lingered, then On the brightening, hazy Sky would I have turned my gaze? |
Shō
11
Right
朝戸あけてながめなれたる明ぼのの霞ばかりに春を知るかな
| asa to akete nagamenaretaru akebono no kasumi baraki ni haru o shiru kana | With morn, opening my door, and Accustomed to gazing At the dawn The haze is all that Tells me ‘tis spring![1] |
Nagatsuna, Ranked without Office
12
The Left’s poem has ‘would I wish to see the skies brightening with haze’, which does not seem bad, but the initial line drop ‘dawn’ and the latter part ‘brightening with haze’ which is a bit dubious; the Right’s poem really has nothing special about it. The poems are comparable and tie.
[1] An allusive variation on GSS V: 249.
Entō ōn’uta’awase 03
Round Three
Left (Win)
春の夜のあくる霞の立田山これや神代の衣なるらん
| haru no yo no akuru kasumi no tatsutayama kore ya kamiyo no koromo naruran | At a spring night’s Dawn the haze around Tatsuta Mountain— Is this how in the age of gods Raiment might have been? |
Supernumerary Major Counsellor Moto’ie
5
Right
朝霞雲居をかけて見わたせばいたりいたらぬ山の端もなし
| asagasumi kumoi o kakete miwataseba itari itaranu yama no ha mo nashi | When, upon the morning haze Draping from the clouds, I turn my gaze, it Spread out, and fails to reach, Not a single mountain’s edge. |
Nobunari, Senior Third Rank
6
Both Left and Right are difficult to tell apart, yet the Left’s ‘clothing of the Age of Gods’ would seem to be superior.