Tag Archives: Frozen Pines

Winter II: 12

Left (Win).

清水もる谷の戸ぼそも閉ぢはてゝ氷を叩く嶺の松風

shimizu moru
tani no toboso mo
tojihatete
kōri o tataku
mine no matsukaze
Where spring waters flow
From out the valley mouth
Is stopped;
Against the ice strikes
The wind from off the pine-filled peaks.

A Servant Girl.

563

Right.

梢にも夜半の白雪積もるらし音弱り行嶺の松風

kozue ni mo
yowa no shirayuki
tsumorurashi
oto yowariyuku
mine no matsukaze
The treetops, too,
Within the snows tonight
Are buried, it seems:
The sounds have softened of
The wind from off the pine-filled peaks.

Nobusada.

564

Neither Left nor Right find any fault.

Shunzei’s judgement: The phrasing of both poems, such as ‘wind from off the pine-filled peaks’ (mine no matsukaze), ‘Against the ice strikes’ (kōri o tataku) and ‘sounds have softened’ (oto yowariyuku), has not particular strong or weak points [kōotsu nakuhaberedo], but still, ‘against the ice strikes’ seems a little superior.

Winter II: 11

Left.

雪埋む松を緑に吹返し見せも聞かせも山おろしの風

yuki uzumu
matsu o midori ni
fukikaeshi
mise mo kikase mo
yama oroshi no kaze
Buried in the snows,
The pines to green
Are blown back,
Sight and sound both from
The wind down the mountains.

Lord Ari’ie.

561

Right.

さえさえて梢の雲を返す也尾上の松の雪の浦風

saesaete
kozue no kumo o
kaesu nari
onoue no matsu no
yuki no urakaze
Frozen with chill,
The treetop-touching clouds
Fly away;
The pines of Onoue,
Blown free from the snows by the wind from off the bay…

Ietaka.

562

Neither team finds any fault with the other’s poem.

Shunzei’s judgement: This round the poems of Left and Right both describe memorable scenes. The Left’s ‘pines to green are blown back’ (matsu o midori ni fukikaeshi) and the Right’s ‘pines of Onoue, blown free from the snows by the wind from off the bay’ (onoue no matsu no yuki no urakaze) are equivalently excellent in conception and diction [kokoro kotoba shōretsu naku miehaberi]. This must be a tie of quality [yoki ji].

Winter II: 10

Left (Win).

吉野山篠の假寢に霜冴えて松風早し深ぬ此夜は

yoshinoyama
suzu no karine ni
shimo saete
matsukaze hayashi
fukenu kono yo wa
Upon Mt Yoshino,
In fitful sleep upon a bed of bamboo,
The frost falls chill, indeed, and
The wind gusts through the pines,
With the fall of night.

Kenshō.

559

Right.

外山なる柴の編戸は風過て霰横ぎる松の音かな

toyamanaru
shiba no amido wa
kaze sugite
arare yokogiru
matsu no oto kana
On the mountains’ edge
My woven brushwood door
Is pierced by the wind;
Hearing hail blown horizontal
Against the pines…

Jakuren.

560

Both Left and Right are exaggerated in their insistence that the other’s poem lacks any faults.

Shunzei’s judgement: The Left’s ‘Upon Mt Yoshino, in fitful sleep upon a bed of bamboo’ (yoshinoyama suzu no karine ni) would seem to suggest an ascetic who, having travelled into the mountains, has made himself a hut from bamboo and pillowed upon the tree roots, would it not? But here he seems to have simply cut them down, spread them out and lain upon them! In addition, ‘The wind gusts through the pines’ (matsukaze hayashi) fails to sound elegant [yū ni shi kikoezaru]. The Right, by starting with ‘On the mountains’ edge’ (toyamanaru), suggests that the poet is speaking of his own dwelling’s door in the mountains. ‘Hearing hail blown horizontal against the pines’ (arare yokogiru matsu no oto) also just does not sound appropriate. Both poems have an exaggerated feeling [kotogotoshikaran to wa kokorozashite], and I cannot grasp who they are referring to. However, the Left’s poem is, still, somewhat superior.

Winter II: 9

Left.

あらはれてまた埋もるゝ雪のうちにさも年深き松の色かな

arawarete
mata utsumoruru
yuki no uchi ni
sa mo toshi fukaki
matsu no iro kana
Appearing and
Then buried once more
By the snows:
How ancient are
The pine trees’ constant hues…

Lord Sada’ie.

557

Right (Win).

いかなれば冬にしられぬ色ながら松しも風のさびしかるらん

ikanareba
fuyu ni shirarenu
iro nagara
matsu shi mo kaze no
sabishikaruran
Why is it that,
All unknowing that ‘tis winter
In their hue,
The pines’ rustling in the wind
Is so sad?

Lord Takanobu.

558

Both Left and Right say the other team’s poem is ‘not bad’ [ashikaranu].

Shunzei’s judgement: While the initial section of the Left’s poem is splendid [], I feel that the later ‘How ancient are’ (sa mo toshi fukaki) goes too far [sa made mo haberazaran]. The Right’s ‘Why is it that’ (ikanareba) is an expression I am unable to accept [shokisubekarazu], the later ‘pines’ rustling in the wind’ (matsu shi mo kaze no) sounds most fine, does it not? Thus, the Right should win.

Winter II: 8

Left (Tie).

松風の音はいつとも分かねども梢の雪や冬はさびしき

matsukaze no
oto wa itsu tomo
wakanedomo
kozue no yuki ya
fuyu wa sabishiki
The wind-blown pines
Murmur is ever
Unchanging, yet
Is it the snow upon the treetops that
Makes winter so sad?

Lord Kanemune.

555

Right.

なべて世の梢に風は弱れども松吹く聲は烈しかりけり

nabete yo no
kozue ni kaze wa
yowaredomo
matsu fuku koe wa
hageshikarikeri
Through most
Treetops the wind
Has weakened, yet
Gusting through the pines, its cry
Is wild, indeed!

The Provisional Master of the Empress Household Office.

556

Both teams consider that the other’s poem is ‘not particularly good’ [kanshinsezaru].

Shunzei’s judgement: There is little between both poems, on ‘wind in the pines’. Thus, the round ties.

Winter II: 7

Left (Win).

雪のうちに猶も緑の色ながら千世をあらはす嶺の若松

yuki no uchi ni
nao mo midori no
iro nagara
chiyo o arawasu
mine no wakamatsu
In amongst the snows,
Yet still does the fresh, green
Hue remain;
A thousand years made manifest in
The young pines on the peak.

Lord Suetsune.

553

Right.

今朝見れば雪高砂の松が枝は土につくまで降り積みにけり

kesa mireba
yuki takasago no
matsu ga e wa
tsuchi ni tsuku made
furitsuminikeri
Looking on this morning
The snow has reached such heights
The pine boughs are
Bent down to the ground,
Buried by the fall…

Lord Tsune’ie.

554

The Right find no fault with the Left’s poem. The Left state that the Right’s poem is ‘lacking in sense’.

Shunzei’s judgement: The Left’s ‘A thousand years made manifest in the young pines on the peak’ (chiyo o arawasu mine no wakamatsu) is charming [okashiku miehaberu], but the in the phrase ‘Yet still does the fresh, green’ (nao mo midori no), the use of ‘still’ (mo) is old-fashioned, and including it produces a phrasing which is inferior to ‘yet’ (nao) alone. When I say such things, people may find them difficult to accept, but not to do so would do the Way a disservice, and thus, I must. The Right’s ‘The pine boughs are bent down to the ground’ (matsu ga e wa tsuchi ni tsuku made) is something which has been used in poetry since long ago, and so is somewhat commonplace [tsune no koto], but ‘such heights the pine’ (takasago no matsu) does not seem that bad [ito masanakuhaberuran]. The Left’s ‘young pines on the peak’ (mine no wakamatsu) should win.