kakaru ori mo arikeru mono o tamakura no hima moru kaze o nani itoiken
At such times as these It comes to me: When you were pillowed on my arm, What about the draught slipping through the gaps Was so hateful?[i]
598
[i] See: Topic unknown. た枕のすきまの風もさむかりき身はならはしの物にぞ有りける tamakura no / sukima no kaze mo / samukariki / mi wa narawashi no / mono ni zo arikeru ‘When you were pillowed on my arm / The draught into the gaps between / Was cold, but / I did grow accustomed to it— / That’s how it was…’ Anonymous (Shūishū XIV: 901)
nami yosuru ama no tomaya no hima o arami moru nite zo shiru yowa no shigure wa
Waves break near A sedge-thatched hut’s Crude gaps The leaks reveal A midnight shower…
Lord Tadafusa 19
Right (M – Win)
ゆふ月よいるさの山の高根よりはるかにめぐる初しぐれかな
yūzukuyo irusa no yama no takane yori haruka ni meguru hatsushigure kana
On a moonlit night From Irusa Mountain’s High peak In the distance circles A first shower!
Lord Kanemasa 20
Toshiyori states: in the first poem, the shower sounds chilly! A shower is not something that one hears after getting up at dawn, yet this poem says that one first gets to know about it from the leaks, it seems that the poet has gone to bed, been leaked on, had his garments soaked and then got up and made a fuss. If he has not been leaked upon is this something he heard from someone else the following day? It really is very unclear. There’s a poem ‘Together with me / On my mountain pilgrimage’ which refers to showers falling on this mountain. The poem here refers to the same peak, so it sounds as if it’s referring to monks going around. Is that what it’s about? I am not just finding fault for the sake of it—these poems are unclear. As there’s only so much that can be understood from hearing them, they should tie.
Mototoshi states: one can compose about a shower falling anywhere and there’s no need to bring up a fisherman’s sedge-thatch hut, is there! Furthermore, one gets to know about a shower from the sound of it falling constantly on something like a roof of cedar boards, surely? Would one really be startled by rain of varying intensity falling soundlessly in spring? As for the poem of the Right, while it does not display a playfulness which would please the eye, ‘In the distance circles / A first shower’ is a bit better in the current context.
teru tsuki mo ono ga hikari ya tamukuramu shirayū kakuru sumiyoshi no matsu
Does the shining moon Of his own light Make an offering? Sacred white streamers hung From the pines of Sumiyoshi.
Lord Fujiwara no Koretsuna Junior Fifth Rank, Lower Grade Without Office[i] 35
Right
かたそぎのゆきあはぬまよりもる月はしもにしもをやおきかさぬらむ
katasogi no yukiawanu ma yori moru tsuki wa shimo ni shimo o ya okikasanuramu
The ridge poles Fail to meet and from the gaps Drips moonlight— Is it frost atop of frost A’falling?
Lord Fujiwara no Suesada Junior Fifth Rank, Lower Grade Without Office[ii] 36
The Left appears elegant, but I do not feel that ‘his own’ is particularly appropriate here. The Right’s configuration of ‘Is it frost atop of frost’ seems charming. However, there is also the point that I sincerely feel that there is no good reason in the current composition to shoehorn in ‘The ridge poles / Fail to meet and from the gaps’, and thus these tie again.
suminoboru tsuki no hikari ni migakurete kumori mo miezu tamatsu shimahime
Climbing clearly The moon’s light Polishes, so that No clouds appear above The divine Princess of Tamatsu Isle!
Lord Fujiwara no Suetsune Assistant Master of the Empress Household Office Exalted Senior Fourth Rank, Lower Grade[1] 23
Right
すみよしのまつのこずゑにいる月はしづえのひまぞなほまたれける
sumiyoshi no matsu no kozue ni iru tsuki wa shizue no hima zo nao matarekeru
At Sumiyoshi Into the treetops of the pines Has sunk the moon— The gaps ‘tween the lower boughs Will ever be awaited!
Lord Fujiwara no Takanobu Supernumerary Director of the Bureau of Horses, Right Division Exalted Junior Fifth Rank, Upper Grade[2] 24
The conception of the Left’s poem of the moon’s light polishing Tamatsu Isle appears charming, but it would have been preferable to stop with ‘No clouds appear above / Tamatsu Isle’. Even though the poem wishes to say that ‘no clouds appear above’ her, the final use of ‘princess’ is a bit critical [for a poem mentioning a deity], isn’t it? As for the Right’s poem, while it does seem to have been composed with some attempt at conception, saying ‘Into the treetops of the pines / Has sunk the moon’ makes it sound as if the light can sink there, but this is what happens at the mountains’ edge, I feel. Thus, here we do have a reference to the moon over this particular shrine, while the Left is based on a reference to the Deity of Tamatsu Isle, and as both of these places are splendid, I hesitate to award a win or a loss and thus, once more, the round ties.
[1]Shōyon’ige-gyō chūgū no suke Fujiwara ason Suetsune正四位下行中宮亮藤原朝臣季経
[2]Jūgoijō-gyō uma no gonkami Fujiwara ason Takanobu 従五位上行右馬権頭藤原朝臣隆信
