kusamakura shigure mo sode o nurashikeri miyako o kouru namida naranedo
On a pillow of grass The showers, too, my sleeves Have soaked; Longing for the capital These tears are not, yet…
Hiromori 69
Right
かりいほさすならのからはのむらしぐれあはれはまきのおとばかりかは
kari’io sasu nara no karawa no murashigure aware wa maki no oto bakari ka wa
Erecting a crude hut, The withered leaves of oak are Struck by cloudbursts; Does sadness in the evergreens’ Sound solely lie?
Dharma Master Chikyō 70
Both Left and Right appear to have elegant configuration and diction, but the Left seems to presents the soaking of sleeves by showers as something novel, while the Right gives a feeling that it is only the sound of evergreens that makes one sad. Thus, these tie.
akihagi o kusa no makura ni musubite ya tsuma koikanete shika no fusuran
The autumn bush clover For a grassy pillow Has he woven—is that why Unable to love his mate The stag seems to lie?
Koreyuki 41
Right
妻こふる秋にしなればさをしかの床の山とてうちもふされじ
tsuma kouru aki ni shi nareba saoshika no toko no yama tote uchi mo fusareji
He yearns for his mate In autumn, above all, so In the stag’s Bed among the mountains He cannot lay him down, it seems.
Arifusa 42
The Left isn’t bad, but isn’t there Controller Kore’ie’s poem:
秋萩を草の枕にむすぶ夜はちかくもしかのこゑをきくかな
akihagi o kusa no makura ni musubu yo wa chikaku mo shika no koe o kiku kana
The autumn bush clover For a grassy pillow I weave tonight— Close by, truly, a stag’s Bell I hear! [1]
While there is this earlier example, neither core nor the conceptions of these poems are the same, and as the Right’s poem is not all that good, after careful consideration I make this a tie.
[1] On hearing a stag at his lodgings. KYS (3) III: 224
Major Captain of the Left Asamitsu had not visited her for a long time, when he came to see her on her travels; having no pillow, they wove one out of grass.
あふことはこれやかぎりの旅ならん草のまくらも霜がれにけり
au koto wa kore ya kagiri no tabi naran kusa no makura mo shimogarenikeri
Will our meeting Here be the limit of Our journey? Even our grassy pillow Seared by distant frosts…
kusamura no kokoro shi to tomo ni zo wataru kure wa shinubeki aki no oshisa ni
A tangled patch of grass is My heart—together Will it cross, and with The evening pass away Amid autumn regrets…[i]
23
Right (Win)
こりずまにあひもみるかな女郎花とまらずかへる秋としるらし
korizu ma ni ai mo miru kana ominaeshi tomarazu kaeru aki to shirurashi
While I do not dislike her, I will come to meet and see, My maidenflower! Not lingering, and returning Having had enough—as autumn seems to do, I know…
24
[i] The central part of this poem appears to have been corrupted as the division kokoro shi to tomo / ni zo wataru is anomalous as it places the bound morphemes ni zo at the beginning of a line. Given this, my translation is speculative.
