Left (Win)
恋路には風やはさそふ朝夕に谷の柴舟行帰れども
koiji ni wa kaze ya wa sasou asa yū ni tani no shibabune yukikaeredomo | Along the path of love Does the wind beckon me? Morning and evening Along the valley boats of brushwood Go back and forth, yet… |
A Servant Girl
1177
Right
真柴こる賤にもあらぬ身なれども恋ゆへわれも歎きをぞ積む
mashiba koru shizu ni mo aranu mi naredomo koi yue ware mo nageki o zo tsumu | Cutting kindling as A mountain man is not My lot, yet For love do I Stack up my grief in logs! |
The Supernumerary Master of the Empress’ Household Office
1178
Left and Right together state: there is no reason to make any criticisms here.
In judgement: although ‘beckon’ (sasou) in the Left’s poem should be ‘send’ (okuru), it is certainly elegant how it evokes thoughts of Captain Cheng travelling along the valley. The Right, beginning with ‘kindling’ (mashiba) and then having ‘grief in logs’ (nageki) sounds a little too similar, I think. The Left should win.
Left (Tie).
年を經て茂るなげきをこりもせでなど深からん物思ひの山
toshi o hete
shigeru nageki o
kori mo sede
nado fukakaran
mono’omoi no yama |
The years go by and
My ever verdant grief
Is never felled;
Why am I so deep
In mountains of gloomy thought? |
Kenshō.
961
Right.
君にわれ深く心を筑波山しげきなげきにこりはてぬ哉
kimi ni ware
fukaku kokoro o
tsukubayama
shigeki nageki ni
korihatenu kana |
You for me
Had deep thoughts once –
All gone now, yet on Tsukuba Mountain
My ever verdant grief
Remains unfelled… |
The Supernumerary Master of the Empress’ Household Office.
962
The Right state: we are not familiar with the expression ‘mountains of gloomy thought’ (mono’omoi no yama) used in the Left’s poem. The Left state: the Right’s poem has nothing significant to say.
In judgement: both poems use the wordplay of ‘ever verdant grief’ (shigeki nageki) and a ‘heart unfelled’ (korinu kokoro); they have no particular merits or faults. The round ties.
今はみな思ひつくばの山おろしよしげきなげきと吹きも伝へよ
ima wa mina
omoitsukuba no
yama oroshiyo
shigeki nageki to
fuki mo tsutaeyo |
Now all
Is in my thoughts: Tsukuba
Mountain descend!
My ever verdant grief
With the gusts, tell all! |
Teika
定家
'Simply moving and elegant'