tsuki kiyomi nagamuru hito no kokoro sae kumoi ni sumeru aki no yowa kana
The moon, so pure, that Gazing folk feel Their very hearts Clearly in the heavens On an autumn midnight!
Lord Shige’ie 49
Right
のこるべきかきねの雪は先消えてほかはつもるとみゆる月かな
nokorubeki kakine no yuki wa mazu kiete hoka wa tsumoru to miyuru tsuki kana
It should be lingering On my brushwood fence, but the snow First vanishes, then Piling up elsewhere Appears moonlight!
Lord Yorimasa 50
The Left seems extremely commonplace, and simply ending ‘autumn midnight’ feels incomplete. As for the Right, what does it mean to say that ‘the snow upon my brushwood fence first vanishes’? Might it mean that because of the fence’s shadow, the moon’s light cannot be seen? It really sounds as if the poet has gone too far in his quest for unusual expressions. Then there’s ‘piling up elsewhere’ along with ‘autumn midnight’—neither of these sound superior, so it’s impossible to say which poem is.
hagi ga hana wakeyuku hodo wa furusato e kaeranu hito mo nishiki o zo kiru
When through the bush-clover blooms He forges his way, To his ancient home Never to return—that man, too, Wears a fine brocade!
Minamoto no Arifusa, Minor Captain in the Inner Palace Guards, Right Division
13
Right
声たてて鳴くむしよりも女郎花いはぬ色こそ身にはしみけれ
koe tatete naku mushi yori mo ominaeshi iwanu iro koso mi ni wa shimikere
They lift their songs in Plaintive cries, but far more than the insects ‘Tis the maidenflower’s Wordless hue that truly Pierce my soul!
Junior Assistant Minister of Central Affairs Sadanaga 14
The Left is well-composed, but what is the Right’s ‘wordless hue’? Are we supposed to imagine that the expression means ‘silent yellow’? This is difficult to grasp, isn’t it. Whatever way you look at it, the Left seems to win.
yuku hito o nobe no obana ni manekasete iromeki tateru ominaeshi kana
Folk going by The meadows the silver grass Is made to beckon by The seductively standing Maidenflowers!
Lord Fujiwara no Suetsune, Former Junior Assistant Minister of Central Affairs 7
Right (Win)
吹くをりぞ過ぐる人をばまねきけるかぜや尾花の心なるらん
fuku ori zo suguru hito oba manekikeru kaze ya obana no kokoro naruran
When it blows, Folk passing by Are beckoned— Does the wind the silver grasses’ Heart become?
Minor Controller of the Left Fujiwara no Tamechika 8
The Left appears to have nothing remarkable about it, while the Right’s initial three sections sound clumsy, yet appear to have some degree of conception, so I would say it wins.
When the Minamoto Minister had visited her, but then lately had not come to call, she caught a faint glimpse of him through a hole in the wall of her chamber, and sent him this.
まどろまぬかべにも人を見つるかなまさしからなん春の夜の夢
madoromanu kabe ni mo Fito wo mituru kana masasikaranan Faru no yo no yume
Unable to sleep, Through my wall him I did glimpse! O, how I wish were true My dream this brief spring night…
kimi ya aranu wa ga mi ya aranu obotsukana tanomeshi koto no mina kawarinuru
Aren’t you who you once were? Aren’t I who I was then? How strange that All we trusted in Has changed.
Shun’e 57
Right
恋ひしなん命ぞをしきつれもなき人にしも身をかへんねたさに
koishinan inochi zo oshiki tsure mo naki hito ni shimo mi o kaen netasa ni
That I would die of love Makes me regret my life! But for that cruel Girl should I Exchange myself—exasperating!
Yorisuke
58
I feel the left is old-fashioned, isn’t it? And yet, it is not without feeling. The Right does not have a poor conception, but its diction is insufficient.
