kaminazuki mimuro no yama no momijaba mo iro ni idenubeku furu shigure kana
In the Godless Month On Mount Mimuro The autumn leaves Show no hues at all, despite The falling showers!
Lord Morikata 15
Right
かみな月時雨れてわたるたびごとに生田の杜をおもひこそやれ
kaminazuki shigurete wataru tabi goto ni ikuta no mori o omoi koso yare
In the Godless Month Showers pass by and Every time The sacred grove at Ikuta I do recall.
Lord Tadataka 16
Toshiyori states: ‘Godless Month’ is the name given to a specific month of the year. It’s somewhat unclear why one would use ‘Godless Month’ in conjunction with ‘Mount Mimuro’ – is there a prior poem to evidence this? It’s quite normal for lines which would normally have five syllables to be written with six, or those with seven to have eight, and this can sound fine in some cases. Here, though, it does sound obviously excessive and I do wonder about that. The second poem is plainly based on an earlier work, and is not at all clear, but as it has precedent, these two are about the same.
Mototoshi states: neither of these poems appears bad, so I say they tie.
The Gentlemen of the Left and Right have nothing particular to say.
Shunzei’s judgement: the Left’s ‘so, now’ (iza saraba) seems pleasant. The Right’s poem has a fairly direct style. After comparison, this is a tie again.
The Right find no fault with the Left’s poem. The Left wonder whether the use of ‘I cannot regret’ (oshimikane) implies that the poet feels nothing prior to that.
Shunzei’s judgement: The Left’s final section is elegant [yū ni haberu], but although I have heard of many different types of wind, I have no recollection of any familiarity [kikinarete mo oboehaberane] with a ‘fickle wind’ (ukitaru kaze). While I feel the Right’s poem has no particular faults, the initial ‘I cannot regret’ (oshimikane) does not seem to fit will with what follows. The poems are alike and the round must tie.
aki to dani
fukiaenu kaze ni
iro kawaru
ikuta no mori no
tsuyu no shitakusa
Hardly is autumn
Breathed upon the wind, than
The hues do change:
Within the sacred bounds of Ikuta,
Dewfall upon the greenery.
43
Right
須磨の海人のなれにし袖もしほたれぬ關吹こゆる秋の浦風
suma no ama no
narenishi sode mo
shiotarenu
seki fukikoyuru
aki no urakaze
Fisherfolk at lonely Suma,
Long used their sleeves to
Drench within the tide; my tears flow as
Past the barrier blows
The autumn wind from ’cross the bay.
