Left.
幾夜とも宿は答へず門田吹稲葉の風の秋の音づれ
| ikuyo tomo yado wa kotaezu kadotafuku inaba no kaze no aki no otozure |
How many nights it’s been? My home gives no reply; Blowing ‘cross the field before my gates, The wind among the rice stalks Brings autumn calling… |
393
Right (Win).
わきてなど庵もる袖のしほるらん稲葉にかぎる秋の風かは
| wakite nado io moru sode no shioruran inaba ni kagiru aki no kaze ka wa |
Apart, and yet Sleeves within the watchman’s hut Are drenched; Among none other than the rice-stalks Is the autumn wind? |
394
The Right state that the Left’s ‘Blowing ‘cross the field before my gates’ (kadota fuku) is grating on the ear. In addition, ‘should one really expect an answer from a house?’ The Left simply say that they find the Right’s poem ‘good’.
Shunzei’s judgement: The Gentlemen of the Right have correctly identified two faults with the Left’s poem. The Right’s poem, on the other hand, in both diction and sentiment, is extremely charming, and the final section, in particular is most profound in form. I must make it the winner.
Left (Tie).
秋田守る賤が庵に宿からんさても此世は過ぬべき身ぞ
| akita moru shizu ga iori ni yado karan satemo kono yo wa suginubeki mi zo |
The autumn paddies warding, A peasant’s hut – there Will I find lodging; And thus, within this world Will I be able to spend my time! |
391
Right (Tie).
深からぬ山田の庵も秋はなを心のはては見つべかりけり
| fukakaranu yamada no io mo aki wa nao kokoro no hate wa mitsubekarikeri |
Not deep at all within The mountain paddies is this hut, yet Autumn, still, My heart, to the brim, Does fill… |
392
The Right complain that the Left’s poem ‘appears to be expressing somewhat outré sentiments’. The Left state on the other hand that the Right’s poem is ‘not bad’.
Shunzei’s judgement: the type of emotional import expressed in the Left’s poem is superlative. In The Tales of Ise, after all, there is the section on ‘gathering fallen ears of rice’ – most charming! To say that this is outré suggests a deficiency of understanding. The Right’s poem, too, conveys an emotional message. I must wonder about the use of ‘Not deep at all within’ (fukakaranu), but still, the round should tie.
Left (Win).
遠近の庵に引板打つ音聞けばかたみに守るや秋の小山田
| ochikochi no io ni hita utsu oto kikeba katami ni moru ya aki no oyamada |
Both near and far From huts the bird clappers sound; Hearing it, I wonder do they ward together The little mountain paddies at autumn time… |
389
Right.
風吹けば山田の庵に音信て稲葉ぞ人を守り明しける
| kaze fukeba yamada no io ni otozurete inaba zo hito wo moriakashikeru |
When the wind does blow To the mountain paddy huts Comes the sound Of rustling rice fronds; the folk within Warding, wakeful, ‘til daybreak. |
390
The Right find no fault with the Left’s poem this round. The Left wonder about the suitability of the phrase ‘folk within warding’ (hito wo moru), to which the Right respond that the expression carries the sense of wakefulness.
Shunzei’s judgement: the Left has the sound of bird clappers jointly guarding the fields, the Right, the sound of rice stirred by the autumn wind rousing folk in their huts – both poems display a particular skill in terms of form, but perhaps at the expense of feeling. Furthermore, I am unable to apprehend the Right’s ‘rice fronds; the folk within warding’. The Left wins, by a small margin.
Left (Tie).
稲妻の光にのみやなぐさめむ田中の里の夕闇の空
| inazuma no hikari ni nomi ya nagusamemu tanaka no sato no yūyami no sora |
Is it lightning’s Light alone, that Can console? Dwelling among the rice-fields Beneath the blackened evening sky. |
327
Right (Tie).
賤の男が山田の庵の苫を粗み漏る稲妻を友とこそ見れ
| shitsu no o ga yamada no io no toma o arami moru inazuma o tomo to koso mire |
A peasant in The mountain fields, whose hut has A rough roof of straw: The lightning dripping in Seems his single friend. |
328
As with the previous round, neither team can find fault with the other’s poem.
Shunzei, however, says, ‘The initial part of the Left’s poem is fine, indeed, but one wonders where the “dwelling among the rice fields” (tanaka no sato) is. I wonder whether nowadays poets can simply refer to a house among the rice fields. I do seem to have heard it before, but for the life of me I cannot remember where. As for the Right’s poem, this, too, has a perfectly standard beginning, but then has the expression “lightning dripping” (moru inazuma) – this seems rather new-fangled to me! Both poems are about the same.’