hahasowara shigure ni somuru kurenai wa kozue no kaze ya fukitehosuran
The oak groves by The showers are dyed With scarlet— Might the wind through the treetops, Gusting, bring dryness?
Shinkaku 95
Right
紅葉ばは入日の影のさしそひてゆふくれなゐの色ぞことなる
momijiba wa irihi no kage no sashisoite yūkurenai no iro zo kotonaru
The autumn leaves By sunset’s light Are struck, and Evening’s scarlet Hue is startlingly fine!
Lay Priest Norinaga 96
In the Left’s poem I would want there to be an expression such as ‘robe’ or ‘brocade’ which is being blown. As for the Right, it lacks any unusual diction, but has no noticeable faults, so these should tie.
ima yori wa isogi mo yukaji irihi sasu noyama no hana zo nioimashikeru
More than this moment There seems no purpose in haste, as The setting sun shines The blossom in the mountain meadows Has a scent sublime.
Lord Tadamoto 22
[1] Ōe no Masasuke 大江盛佐. The identity of this individual remains uncertain, as he does not appear in the genealogy of the Ōe family. There was, however, a Fujiwara no Masasuke 藤原盛佐, who was appointed to the position of Senior Secretary of the Echizen province on the 23rd day of the First Month Kōji 康治 1 [10.2.1142], some forty years after this contest was held. The title used for Masasuke here, Student of Law (myōbōshō 明法生) indicates that he was enrolled in the Law department of the imperial university (daigakuryō 大学寮) at the time, and so would have been a young man. It is possible that for a minor noble it could take decades to gain an appointment to a provincial administration, so it is possible that this is Fujiwara no Masasuke, but this remains speculation. In any case this is his sole poem in a poetry competition.
The Right state: ‘with no moon, my love’ (tsuki naki koi) sounds poor. The Left state: there is nothing remarkable about this.
In judgement: the Left’s ‘fluttering cloudy pennants’ (toyohatagumo) sounds as if it is introducing something significant, but the conclusion‘from darkness will never escape’ (yamishi hareneba), is restricted. Whilethe Right’s poem, indeed, has nothing remarkable about it, it is elegant. It should win.
The Right wonder whether, ‘it is not overly similar to have both “thunder” (naru) and “sound” (todoroku) in a single poem?’ The Left have no comments to make.
Shunzei states, ‘The Left’s poem does seem to have some sort of style about it, but the Right’s “Could that be it?” (kore mo ya) contains many possible meanings, and the phrasing is also pleasant, as is “a grove of cedar trees” (sugi no muradachi), and thus, it must win.’
