Composed as a poem on deer.
山ざとのあか月がたの鹿のねは夜半のあはれのかぎりなりけり
| yamazato no akatukigata no sika no ne Fa yoFa no aFare no kagiri narikeri | In a mountain hut At the edge of dawn A deer’s cry makes Midnight’s misery All too clear… |
Jien
Tag Archives: Jien
Love X: 26
Left (Win)
恋しさに逢ことかへむ市もがなつれなき人の心をも見ん
| koishisa ni au koto kaemu ichi mo gana tsurenaki hito no kokoro o mo min | With love to Meet and trade – If only there were such a market! Then that cruel one’s Heart I might find there! |
Lord Kanemune
1191
Right
商人の舟の昔を思ふにも恨みは深き涙なりけり
| akibito no fune no mukashi o omou ni mo urami wa fukaki namida narikeri | On a merchant’s Boat, in thoughts Of long ago, My despair is deep As my tears. |
Nobusada
1192
The Right state: while the Left’s poem refers to a market, it has no merchant. The Left state: ‘a merchant’s boat’ (akibito no fune) is punted, and the lute is plucked.
In judgement: in regard to the Left’s poem, the Gentlemen of the Right’s criticism is that ‘it refers to a market but has no merchant’. ‘With love to meet and trade’ (koishisa ni au koto kaemu) – that suggests a merchant. There is no cause to look elsewhere for an entirely different one! With regard to the Right’s poem, the Left have their own criticism that ‘a merchant’s boat is punted, and a lute is plucked.’ This is, indeed, a most amusing form of words, but I wonder if such levity is appropriate. This poem sounds as if a merchant’s customer is on board his boat, thinking of the past, and listening to the merchant’s wife play the lute. However, while the playing of the lute long ago is evoked, the conception of today’s love lacks clarity. The Left’s poem should win.
Love X: 21
Left
朝夕にみ山に通ふ賤だにも歎きはこらぬ物とこそ聞け
| asa yū ni miyama ni kayou shizu dani mo nageki wa koranu mono to koso kike | Morning and evening, Travelling to the mountain deeps and back, Even the woodsmen Will not fell the tree of grief, Or so I hear… |
Lord Kanemune
1181
Right (Win)
賤の男よ思ひはわれもこりぬべしをのが苦しき妻木ならねど
| shizu no o yo omoi wa ware mo korinubeshi ono ga kurushiki tsumaki naranedo | O, woodsman! I, too, in fires of passion Must burn on; My longing for my love, your axe To kindling will not hew, and yet… |
Nobusada
1182
The Right state: the Left’s poem has no faults to indicate. The Left state: the Right’s poem sounds like it is chopping kindling that the woodsman will do no more.
In judgement: ‘Travelling to the mountain deeps and back, the woodsmen’ (miyama ni kayou shizu) should ‘fell the tree of grief’ (nageki o koru), but in the poem they ‘do not fell’ (koranu) it – I wonder how appropriate this is. This conception seems to be one not relating to grief, but simply to tree-felling. ‘I, too, in fires of passion must burn on’ (omoi wa ware mo korinubeshi) seems somewhat difficult to interpret, but I must say that the configuration of the final section is superb.
Love X: 17
Left (Tie)
よそにやは釣する志賀の海人を見ん枕の下を知らせだにせば
| yoso ni ya wa tsuri suru shiga no ama o min makura no shita o shirase dani seba | Unconnected with Fishing diver-girls At Shiga would I seem? When what lies beneath my pillow Is revealed… |
Lord Ari’ie
1173
Right
潮たるる袖にあはれの深きより心に浮ぶ海人の釣舟
| shio taruru sode ni aware no fukaki yori kokoro ni ukabu ama no tsuribune | Tide-spattered Sleeves: my sorrow is So deep that Floating upon my heart is A diver-girl’s fishing boat! |
Nobusada
1174
Left and Right together state: no faults.
In judgement: the poem of the Left has ‘unconnected with fishing diver-girls at Shiga would I seem?’ (yoso ni ya wa tsuri suru shiga no ama o min) and the poem of the Right has ‘floating upon my heart is a diver-girl’s fishing boat!’ (kokoro ni ukabu ama no tsuribune): both have profound conception and their diction sounds pleasant, so it is difficult to divide them into superior and inferior works. Thus, I make this a tie.
Love X: 8
Left
心ゆく野路の旅寝の友なくはいとど都や恋しからまし
| kokoro yuku noji no tabine no tomo naku wa itodo miyako ya koishikaramashi | To ease my heart While sleeping on my travels ‘tween the fields I have no friend at all, so How much more the capital Does seem dear to me now! |
Lord Kanemune
1155
Right (Win)
立ち宿る一夜ばかりの契だにさてながらふる人もある世を
| tachiyadoru hitoyo bakari no chigiri dani sate nagarauru hito mo aru yo o | Lodging on one’s travels, For just a single night, A love That lasts with A lady does happen sometimes, yet… |
Nobusada
1156
The Right state: the Left’s poem has no entertainers, or conception of love, either. The Left state: the Right’s poem lacks entertainers.
In judgement: it seems that the Gentlemen of both teams have already stated that both poems lack the conception of Love. However, they seem to me to both capture the conception of entertainers. The Right’s configuration and conception are fine. It should win, I think.
Love X: 4
Left (Tie)
舟のうちにさしも浮きたる契までうらやむ程のえにこそ有けれ
| fune no uchi ni sashimo ukitaru chigiri made urayamu hodo no e ni koso arikere | Within a boat Such a brief Bond is formed; yet Do I envy it, I really do! |
Lord Ari’ie
1147
Right
その人と分きて待つらん妻よりもあはれは深き浪の上哉
| sono hito to wakite matsuran tsuma yori mo aware wa fukaki nami no ue kana | There is her, and My waiting Wife: Far fonder am I Upon the waves! |
Nobusada
1148
Left and Right state: neither has any fault.
In judgement: the configuration and diction of both poems sounds pleasant. I must make this a tie.
Love IX: 27
Left (Tie)
憂き身ゆへよがるる床のさむしろはしき忍び忍びてもかひやなからむ
| ukimi yue yogaruru toko no samushiro wa shikishinobitemo kai ya nakaramu | My cruelty was it that Kept him from my bed these many nights; My blanket: Should I spread it and think of him alone, Would that have no effect at all? |
Lord Kanemune
1133
Right
恋わびぬむなしき床のさむしろに幾夜いくたび寝覚しつらん
| koiwabinu munashiki toko no samushiro ni ikuyo ikutabi nezameshitsuran | Sick am I of love – In an empty bed’s Blankets How many nights, how many times, Must I awake? |
Nobusada
1134
Both Left and Right together state: we find no faults to mention.
In judgement: both of the ‘blankets’ (samushiro) of the Left and Right here seem elegant. The configuration of the Left’s ‘my cruelty was it that kept him from my bed these many nights; my blanket’ (ukimi yue yogaruru toko no samushiro) and the conception of the Right’s ‘sick am I of love – in an empty bed’s’ (koiwabinu munashiki toko no) are such that I find both difficult to put down. I must make the round a tie.
Love IX: 20
Left (Win)
夢絶えて返すかひなきさ夜衣うらみばかりを重ねつるかな
| yume taete kaesu kainaki sayogoromo urami bakari o kasaneteuru kana |
My dreams have ceased, and Pointless, it is to reverse My night robe – Resentment is all the Lies upon me… |
Lord Ari’ie
1119
Right
寝る人の夢は幾度覚めぬらん返すかひなきさ夜衣かな
| neru hito no yume wa ikutabi samenuran kaesu kainaki sayogoromo kana |
That sleeper has from Dreams, how many times Awakened? Pointlessly reversed is My night robe! |
Nobusada
1120
Both Gentlemen state there are no faults to mention.
In judgement: both Left and Right use a ‘pointlessly reversed night robe’ (kaesu kainaki sayogoromo), but I wonder about the impression of the Right’s ‘sleeper’ (neru hito no). The Left, from the initial ‘my dreams have ceased’ (yume taete) to the concluding section sounds fine. Thus, I must make the Left the winner.
Love IX: 18
Left
いとはれて胸やすからぬ思をば人の上にぞ書きうつしつる
| itowarete mune yasukaranu omoi o ba hito no ue ni zo kakiutsushitsuru |
Being despised And my unquiet heart Filled with feelings Upon her I paint them out! |
Kenshō
1115
Right (Win)
いかにせん絵にかく妹にあらねどもまこと少き人心かな
| ika ni sen e ni kaku imo ni aranedomo makoto sukunaki hitogokoro kana |
What am I to do? A lady painted in a picture She is not, yet How lacking are Her feelings! |
Nobusada
1116
The Right state: what is the Left’s poem about? In appeal: it reflects Changkang, who, feeling a woman living next door was beautiful, painted her and was then able to meet her. The Left state: the Right’s poem has no faults to mention.
In judgement: I, too, was unsure of the meaning of ‘my unquiet heart filled with feelings upon her’ (mune yasukaranu omoi woba hito no ue ni zo), and after reading the Left’s response, I am still unclear. In general, in these cases it is customary to cite the source of such things, and to hear of such wide reading is interesting indeed, but this is simply, ‘it reflects Changkang, who, feeling a woman living next door was beautiful, painted her and was then able to meet her’, so it would be difficult to locate within the usual Three Histories; furthermore, I have no recollection of a person named in this Chinese manner, and so an ignorant old man like myself can only ask, who is this Nagayasu? More importantly, though, I do not feel the conception of this poem is particularly well-matched to the topic. The Right’s ‘a lady painted in a picture’ (e ni kaku imo) is a little over-explicit, but ‘how lacking are’ (makoto sukunaki) would seem to be in the style of the Kazan Archbishop, and as I feel this is easier to understand than Nagayasu, I make the Right the winner.
Love IX: 12
Left (Win)
住みなれし人はこずゑに絶えはてて琴の音にのみ通ふ松風
| suminareshi hito wa kozue ni taehatete koto no ne ni nomi kayou matsukaze |
Accustomed to his being here, Now, he comes not and from the treetops All that endures Are my zither’s strains, Blending with the pines. |
Lord Ari’ie
1103
Right
聞かじただつれなき人の琴の音にいとはず通ふ松の風をば
| kikaji tada tsurenaki hito no koto no ne ni itowazu kayou matsu no kaze o ba |
I will listen no more! To that cruel man’s Zither strains Heedlessly blending With the wind from off the pines… |
Nobusada
1104
The Right state: it sounds as if the man is enduring on the treetops. The Left state: ‘I will listen no more!’ (kikaji tada) is extremely coarse.
In judgement: while it may sound as if the man is enduring on the treetops in the Left’s poem, this is no more than a standard use of metaphorical expression, and the configuration of ‘accustomed to his being here, now, he comes not and from the treetops’ (suminareshi hito wa kozue ni) sounds fine, with the latter part of the poem also being elegant. The initial line of the Right’s poem has a conception of closing up the ears to block one’s auditory sense, which seems excessive. Clearly, the Left’s ‘my zither’s strains’ (koto no ne ni nomi) must win.