Tag Archives: kayoiji

Eien narabō uta’awase 27

Round Six

Left

ふるゆきに山のほそみちうづもれてまれにとひこし人もかよはず

furu yuki ni
yama no hosomichi
uzumorete
mare ni toikoshi
hito mo kayowazu
With the falling snow
The mountain’s narrow pathways
Are buried;
But rarely did he visit and now
Cannot make his way at all.

Cell of Fragrant Cloud
53

Right

あしたつるみわのひばらにゆきふかみみやぎひくをのかよひぢもなし

ashi tatsuru
miwa no hibara ni
yuki fukami
miyagi hiku o no
kayoiji mo nashi
Reeds stand tall in
Miwa, where the cypress groves
Are deep with snow;
To cut sacred timber, the woodsman
Has no path to tread at all.

Cell of Compassionate Light
54

The Left’s poem, in terms of style and diction, entirely grasps the way someone might feel. What a sense of grief! The Right’s poem is composition that fairly drips and delves into playfulness, but in so doing lacks feeling. Truly, the former poem has superlative qualities, resembling a black dragon’s pearl![i] Thus, the Left must win.

The Left does seem to have been composed but simply stated. It possesses a calm elegance. The Right seems to have been created after a great deal of thought. This poem shows effort and the former such calm that I wish to declare them a tie. This may enrage the poets, but the ignorant may give the appearance of being knowledgeable, as they say. I wonder who composed these…


[i] Riju 驪珠 as an abbreviation of riryū no tama 驪龍の珠 (‘black dragon’s pearl’). Mototoshi uses this analogy deliberately as black dragons were associated with winter. The pearl, which they were often depicted as holding or being located in their throat, was a symbol of the dragon’s spiritual development and a marker of its immortality. This is thus an effusive statement of praise for Shōchō’s poem.

KKS XII: 559

A poem from the Poetry Contest held by the Empress Dowager during the Reign of the Kanpyō Emperor.

住の江のきしによる波夜さへや夢のかよひ路人めよくらむ

suminoe no
kisi ni yoru nami
yoru saFe ya
yume no kayoFidi
Fitome yokuramu
On Suminoe’s
Shore break waves;
Even at night
Upon the path of dreams
Can we avoid others’ prying eyes?

Lord Fujiwara no Toshiyuki

A kuzushiji version of the poem's text.
Created with Soan.

Kanpyō no ōntoki kisai no miya uta’awase 96

Left

住吉のきしによる波夜さへや夢のかよひ路人めよくらむ

sumiyoshi no
kishi ni yoru nami
yoru sae ya
yume no kayoiji
hitome yokuramu
On Sumiyoshi’s
Shore break waves;
Even at night
Upon the path of dreams
Can we avoid others’ prying eyes?

186

Right

夕附夜おぼろに人を見てしより天雲はれぬ心地こそすれ

yūzukuyo
oboro ni hito o
miteshi yori
amagumo harenu
kokochi koso sure
On a moonlit evening
Faintly, a lady
Did I see, and ever since
Heaven’s clouds, unclearing,
Weigh on my feelings…

187

Love VI: 12

Left (Tie).
君がりと浮きぬる心まよふらん雲はいくへぞ空の通ひ路

kimigari to
ukinuru kokoro
mayouran
kumo wa iku e zo
sora no kayoiji
To your home
Drifts my heart
In seeming confusion;
How may layers must the clouds
Pass though on the heavenly paths?

A Servant Girl.
923

Right.
思やるながめも今は絶えぬとや心をうづむ夕暮の雲

omoiyaru
nagame mo ima wa
taenu to ya
kokoro o uzumu
yūgure no sora
Lost in thought
I gazed at you, but now
Is it that it’s done that
Buries my heart beneath
The evening skies?

Ietaka.
924

The Right state: we would have preferred it to have been ‘is it that my heart drifts?’ (ukinuru kokoro ya). The Left state: the Right’s poem lacks faults.

In judgement: the final sections of both poems seem fine. For strict correctness, the Left should have had ‘my drifting heart does seem confused’ (ukinuru kokoro wa mayourashi), but because this would not fit with the poem, he has left it as ‘in seeming confusion’ (mayouran). The poem is fine as it is, without introducing ‘is it that my heart’ (kokoro ya). I don’t know what to make of the expression ‘to your home’ (kimigari), but ‘how may layers must the clouds pass though on the heavenly paths?’ (kumo wa iku e zo sora no kayoiji) is charming. Then again, the Right’s ‘buries my heart beneath the evening skies?’ (kokoro o uzumu yūgure no sora) has a gentle beauty about it. Thus, the round should tie.

Love IV: 29

Left.
寢覺まで猶苦しき行歸り足も休めぬ夢の通ひ路

nezame made
nao kurushiki
yukikaeri
ashi mo yasumenu
yume no kayoiji
Until I awaken
It is ever painful
Going back and forth
My feet not resting once
Upon the path of dreams.

Lord Ari’ie.
837

Right.
忘らるゝ身をば思はで龍田山心にかゝる沖つ白波

wasuraruru
mi o ba omowade
tatsuta yama
kokoro ni kakaru
oki tsu shiranami
Forgotten
I think not on myself, but
On Mount Tatsuta
Dwells my heart
Whipped by whitecaps…

Jakuren.
838

The Gentlemen of the Right: no faults to mention. The Gentlemen of the Left state: the Right’s poem does not have anything to say beyond what is contained in its origin poem.

In judgement: the Left’s poem takes the conception of Komachi’s poem ‘my feet don’t rest, constantly trailing to you, yet’ (ashi mo yasumezu kayoedomo) and skilfully adds ‘Until I awaken it is ever painful’ (nezame made nao kurushiki). The Right’s poem is based upon the poem ‘where, through night’s depths, my Lord’ (yowa ni ya kimi ga), but then says ‘Dwells my heart whipped by whitecaps’ (kokoro ni kakaru oki tsu shiranami), which sounds pleasant, too. They are comparable and should tie.