Left
ひくるればひとめのもりにぬるとりのあかつきがたになきつつぞたつ
| hi kurureba hitome no mori ni nuru tori no akatsukigata ni nakitsutsu zo tatsu | Since the setting of the sun Avoiding others’ eyes within the forest Slept a bird that At the edge of dawn Sobbing, does depart! |
22
Right
ねをあさみそこをはなるるうきくさのけさのおきにぞながれわびぬる
| ne o asami soko o hanaruru ukikusa no kesa no oki ni zo nagare wabinuru | Shallow the roots Separating from the river’s bed, Of the drifting waterweed, This morning rising, Swept away in desolation! |
23
Snow
Round One
Left (Win)
たまのきにははそのもりもなりにけりふるしらゆきのきえぬかぎりは
| tama no ki ni hahaso no mori mo narinikeri furu shirayuki no kienu kagiri wa | Into trees of gems has The oak forest Turned While the falling snow Does not fade away… |
Lord Dainagon
43[i]
Right
ゆきふればあをばの山も見がくれてときはのきをやけさはをるらむ
| yuki fureba aoba no yama mo migakurete tokiwa no ki o ya kesa wa oruramu | Snow has fallen, so The verdant mountain Vanishes from sight— Might the evergreens Be broken the morning? |
Lord Chūnagon
44[ii]
The poem of the Left is entirely lacking in any interest. Isn’t this a sage’s jewelled tree? It really leaves me grief-stricken. The poem of the Right contains two faults in a single work. First, this is not the right time of year to be referring to a ‘verdant mountain’. Second, ‘vanishes from sight’ refers to disappearing in water. In the Collection of a Myriad Leaves ‘vanishing from sight’ is written as ‘hidden in the water’. Thus we have lines such as, ‘swarming frogs hiding in the weeds beneath the waves’. There are no prior poems mentioning ‘mountains vanishing from sight’ in either ancient or modern times.
On the matter of the ‘tree of gems’, I heard a long time ago that this might have appeared in an important source, but as this is something I know little about, even if this is a fault, it’s difficult for me to say anything about it. Well, in any case, it doesn’t sound bad. Would someone who knows all about this compose poorly? The Right’s poem lacks elegance, but it doesn’t sound like it has any other faults. It’s inferior to the Left only in ornamentation.
[i] Some sources identify Mototoshi as the composer of this poem.
[ii] This poem is included in Toshiyori’s personal collection, Sanboku kikashū (670), with the headnote, ‘Composed in place of someone for a poetry match in Nara’,
Love at a mountain retreat the morning after[i]
消えなまし今朝尋ねずは山しろの人こぬやどのみちしばの露
| kienamashi kesa tazunezu wa yamashiro no hito konu yado no michishiba no tsuyu | I would fade away! This morning, unvisited In Yamashiro At a place where no one comes With the dew upon the roadside grasses… |
507
Round Ten
Left
植ゑしその心も置かぬ白菊はあだなる霜に移ひにけり
| ueshi sono kokoro mo okanu shiragiku wa adanaru shimo ni utsuroinikeri | I planted them, yet Unconcerned are The white chrysanthemums, For with the faithless frost Have they faded. |
Lord Munekuni
43
Right (Both Judges – Win)
菊のはな夜のまに色やかはれると霜を払ひて今朝みつるかな
| kiku no hana yo no ma ni iro ya kawareru to shimo o haraite kesa mitsuru kana | The chrysanthemum blooms Within the space of but one night their hue Will change, I thought, so Brushing away the frost Will I gaze on them this morn! |
Lord Kanemasa
44
Toshiyori states: the first poem uses ‘unconcerned’, doesn’t it. The second poem’s sequencing is undesirable, yet ‘brushing away the frost’ sounds like that really is the case. It seems superior.
Mototoshi states: one has to ask what on earth a chrysanthemum might be concerned about! As for the Right, ‘Within the space of but one night their hue’ is vague, I think, but ‘brushing away the frost and gazing’ is certainly charming—it is still lodged within my aged heart.
Round Three
Left
万代の秋のかたみになす物はきみがよはひをのぶるしらぎく
| yorozuyo no aki no katami ni nasu mono wa kimi ga yowai o noburu shiragiku | Of ten thousand ages’ Autumns a keepsake I will make: My Lord’s age Extended by a white chrysanthemum! |
Lord Akinaka
29
Right
今朝みればさながら霜をいただきて翁さびゆくしら菊の花
| kesa mireba sanagara shimo o itadakite okina sabiyuku shiragiku no hana | When this morn I look That’s how it is: with frost Bestowed A lonesome ancient seems This white chrysanthemum bloom! |
Lord Mototoshi
30
Toshiyori states: this first poem is strongly characterized by felicitation, and that’s about all the fault I can mention. As for the second poem, ‘a lonesome ancient seems’ is certainly an expression I don’t know. Still, if I think of examples from prior poems, ‘lone ancient’ could be interpreted as deriving from ‘dotaged ancient’, but then the conception seems different here, so this is most likely wrong. I can only give a decision once I am certain.
Mototoshi states: ‘Of ten thousand ages’ / Autumns a keepsake / Will make’ resembles Kanemori’s famous work,[1] which has often been alluded to in composition, I think. This poem is charming. ‘Will make’ is an extremely abbreviated expression, and so the final ‘age / Extended by a white chrysanthemum’ appears to have little connection to it. There is Tomonori’ s ‘Dew-dappled / Let us pluck and wear’[2], and also responses sent on the 9th day of the Ninth Month to the residences of Tadamine and Tsurayuki like ‘Bearing droplets / Age is extended by / Chrysanthemums’, aren’t there. Given that’s the case there would be many such keepsakes of extended age. As for the Right’s ‘That’s how it is: with frost / Bestowed / A lonesome ancient seems, well, it seems that just how I composed a poem about lingering chrysanthemums—have I done something wrong?
Round Four
Left (M – Win)
水鳥の青葉の山やいかならん梢をそむる今朝のしぐれに
| mizutori no aoba no yama ya ika naran kozue o somuru kesa no shigure ni | Waterfowl fly above Aoba Mountain— O, what is to become Of the treetops dyed By this morning’s shower? |
Lord Akinaka
7
Right (T – Win)
かきくもり蜑の小ぶねにふく苫の下とほるまで時雨れしにけり
| kakikumori ama no obune ni fuku toma no shita tōru made shigureshinikeri | Clouds rake in above The fisher’s tiny boat— Through its rush-woven roof And even beneath A shower has fallen. |
Lord Michitsune
8
Toshiyori states: Continuing on from ‘Waterfowl fly above / Aoba Mountain’ with ‘the treetops dyed’ is simple and straightforward. The latter poem’s emphasis on the fisher’s tiny boat is an unexpected expression, yet because it is not a fault, I make this poem the winner.
Mototoshi states: saying ‘Waterfowl fly above / Aoba Mountain’ is extremely hackneyed, yet the poem of the Right has ‘Clouds rake in above / The fisher’s tiny boat— / Through its rush-woven roof’: both spring showers and summer ones, too, are not things which fall constantly, so it is difficult to believe that they could fall ‘even beneath’. So, I have to determine that a shower dyeing the treetops is a little better.
Round Fourteen
Left (Win)
七夕のわかるる今朝のたもとにや秋の白露おきはじむらん
| tanabata no wakaruru kesa no tamoto ni ya aki no shiratsuyu okihajimuran | The Weaver Maid Parts from him this morn, Upon her sleeves Autumn’s silver dewdrops Must have begun to fall… |
Shun’e
27
Right
秋へてもはてなき中をみるをりは七夕つめぞうらやまれける
| aki hete mo hatenaki naka o miru ori wa tanabatatsume zo urayamarekeru | Though the autumns pass, When on their endless bond She ponders, Even the Weaver Maid Must despise her lot! |
Kenshō
28
Round Seven
Left (Tie)
けさはまたそれともみえず淡路島霞のしたに浦風ぞ吹く
| kesa wa mata sore tomo miezu awajishima kasumi no shita ni urakaze zo fuku | This morning, once again, I cannot that clearly see Awaji Isle, but Beneath the haze The winds are blowing o’er the beach! |
Chikanari, Ranked without Office
13
Right
春霞なびく朝けの塩風にあらぬけぶりや浦に立つらん
| harugasumi nabiku asake no shiokaze ni aranu keburi ya ura ni tatsuran | Spring haze Trails over with the morn— Salt-fire breezes It is not, yet does smoke Seem to rise across the bay? |
Ie’kiyo, Ranked without Office
14
Both Left and Right don’t seem bad. I make them a tie.
